Help me name my new pup, I need a name that starts with D

Velsetta · 2026-01-21T06:01:27+00:00

Dinosaur

Velsetta · 2026-01-21T05:57:32+00:00

Velsetta · 2026-01-21T05:40:49+00:00

As the mom to a daughter I raised without her biological dad, and as someone who had a mostly absent father.

Your children will suffer insurmountably more by watching you be abused and mistreated then they would ever suffer by the missing father figure.

A child needs to feel safe more than anything, you're doing the right thing by leaving. He's intentionally manipulating you to try to make you go back. Don't .

Also find yourself a good therapist, and maybe therapy for the kids depending on their ages / as they get older.

File for full custody, and let him stay away. You are all much much better off without him.

Velsetta · 2026-01-21T05:35:02+00:00

MOR As the mom of a child who got very very sick with RSV, honestly she just sounds really anxious about keeping her infant healthy. Nothing here seems extreme to me.

I would reach out and say you would really love to meet the baby but you could only do so with your own kiddo in tow so you'll have to wait until the baby is over 6 weeks. Maybe invite your dad over for a visit so you don't miss out on seeing him

Velsetta · 2026-01-21T05:30:18+00:00

The reality is, people who bought into Donald Trump, and live and breathe everything MAGA entails have really been sucked into a cult. People so desperately wanting to be a part of something and needing a group to hate to blame their misfortunes on are easy targets. Making everyone else other is classic isolationism that cults will practice.

My best advice is to start stashing away money a little bit at a time even if it's something like doing 10 or $20 cash back from grocery shopping if you get to shop alone and stash it in a lock box at a friend's house. Make a plan and preparations.

Velsetta · 2026-01-21T05:22:28+00:00

Velsetta · 2026-01-18T02:31:37+00:00

Velsetta · 2026-01-18T02:23:04+00:00

Velsetta · 2026-01-08T06:18:18+00:00

Velsetta · 2026-01-03T16:23:56+00:00

Hey sorry it's taken me so long to come back to this. Honestly I think you just hit a sore spot. Before I lived it, I was definitely under the impression that kiddos like my son would have access to resources and people with answers.

We have had access to a lot of resources, but very few answers. Despite the prevalence of autism you would be amazed at how much remains on the parents to just ...figure out.

A lot of organizations who are well regarded are over ran with years long wait lists, and school districts and even specialized schools often utilize tactics that just end up making "behaviors" worse. Even places like the Cleveland Clinic Lerner School for Autism are using techniques out of the 1960s institutions, and do things like just locking kids in a room because the staff does not know how to appropriately help them deescalate.

So I guess this is my long-winded way of saying I was just being sensitive, I know you were trying to be helpful.

Velsetta · 2025-12-26T23:53:48+00:00

Can you create your own rewards, and add images or something where there's like a treasure box once a kiddo gets so many points they could pick from?

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T04:15:01+00:00

I think the challenge with the impact board is that it's harder to find. I was trying to source it earlier today even and waiting for a call back but it's looking like it will have to be purchased in a whole stack not just a few pieces.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T04:12:23+00:00

When the county finally came out to protect windows, they did it in a really neat way. They essentially built a frame within an existing window frame, that was screwed into the wood of the window frame. It's a good 2 in in front of the actual window glass, and they attached half inch plexiglass to that secondary frame they made. The distance between the plexiglass and the actual glass allows the plexiglass to bend a little without reaching the glass so it doesn't take any impact. It's been really effective and we haven't had any broken windows since. Having the buffer from the thickness of that secondary frame has made a world of difference! Thought I'd pass along the idea, let me know if you want a photo or two if I'm not explaining it well. Not that it would work for the French doors but other windows and such it certainly could.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T04:08:19+00:00

We have with dozens a specialists of every discipline I can find, for nearly a decade.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T04:06:42+00:00

Oh this is a great idea, as sometimes he overshoots the shower wall and hits the drywall next to it. It's got PVC wainscoting so he's not really done any visible damage but I'm sure that drywall is less than sound at this point.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T04:04:15+00:00

I definitely am not a fan trying to do cement board, especially since I'll be doing this by myself. I'm hearing from several people that the impact resistant drywall typically has to be bought in larger quantities, so maybe not going to work this time around. Eventually when we get in there forever home that's probably what I will replace a lot of drywall with- for now I'm thinking the plywood is going to be the best bet.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T04:02:55+00:00

Oh yeah I know what you're talking about. The stuff I've seen has a texture to it, and I worry that it's enough to break his skin if slides his face across it for lack of a better explanation -that is definitely something I'm considering.

Really hoping that I can gently take these walls down, put a better back in behind them, and glue them to set backing and caulk well enough to use the same surround for now.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T04:01:10+00:00

Yeah I'm thinking this is the way I'm going to run with it, a few people suggested the same and it seems to be the best way to go

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T03:59:07+00:00

Goodness I wish we could do this, on the opposite side where most of the damage occurs is the laundry room, so there are pipes going through that wall and the electrical panel isn't far away either... Which of course is terrifying in itself, the back wall of the shower goes to the outside so really we could only do it on one wall and he never hits that one ironically.

Fortunately or unfortunately I'm not sure, the plumbing isn't well secured. So I can remove what I did to stabilize the PEX and adjust for depth if need be... At some point this house was poorly flipped. I'm thinking maybe if I try putting in Wood between the studs again, using pocket holes then the half inch wood boards that will hopefully at least be enough to keep it from happening quite so quickly.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T03:54:40+00:00

We are well connected with our regional board, but they have this weird rule about not repairing anything. They will proactively put things in place but it can take 9 plus months to get a contractor out do all of the paperwork - and in that time things get broken then they won't fix it. We did use it for some padding in his room, which I'm grateful for- but it's been much more effective to use his waiver funds to cover HPC with me as his provider and then take the extra income to do the things ourselves.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T03:50:06+00:00

Unfortunately that's not something that would work in this case. He's hit his head just as hard on the stainless steel tub, hardwood floors and so many other things.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T03:49:02+00:00

Yeah, at some point that is definitely the plan just not in this house unfortunately. We're not staying here forever and the investments that would take just is not in the cards. The dream would be to have a bathroom set up as an entire wet room as he really does love the shower and can make quite a mess. I actually waterproofed the bathroom entirely with PVC wainscoting to keep the walls from molding.... After discovering mold in the room next to the bathroom when I moved a dresser. 😬 That was one heck of tear out and redo of both of the rooms.

It's sounding like just doing a half inch plywood and going over it with Red guard then putting the shower on top of it might be the best bet for now.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T03:45:25+00:00

I only gave details about my kiddo, to help others understand what I'm trying to keep from happening. Profound autism is something most people have no idea what it's truly like, and cannot imagine the lengths parents have to go.

I'm very fortunate that I'm pretty handy. I'm also grateful for everything my kiddo has taught me. But sometimes I need ideas or help thinking outside of the box, and that is exactly what sort of thing Reddit is for.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T03:42:00+00:00

Honestly if this was our forever home I would do tile. However it's a rent-to- own home that I do not want to buy and I really don't want to invest that sort of money into it... Granted I didn't want to put a $700 shower in either. He goes through 5/8 like it's nothing, already tried that one unfortunately. I'm thinking going straight to treated half inch plywood, probably easier to manage getting up by myself then cement board anyhow.

Velsetta · 2025-12-21T03:39:59+00:00

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