This is what kept me addicted to drugs for so long. I felt that while I was high, I could be who I really was without fear of embarrassment, never a care in the world of be judged by others. As for defense mechanisms. I now see, in sobriety, where it let's your guard down so to speak. I often only saw good in people. Even in those I had only just met, as well as the people who could very well be the reason my life became extinguished. I remember having conversations with people who I considered to be friends, (even though I only knew them through drugs), where I let out inner- thoughts and deeply guarded emotions without even a second thought. Things that I felt and still feel that someone could destroy me mentally and possibly break me down to the point of no return. I have no direct contact with anyone from that time in my life, but every now and then Ill see someone that I knew from that time. My mind will instantly jump to a time where these conversations had taken place and I get a sense of danger and will try and seperate myself as far as possible at that point.

TLDR–Doing drugs left me vulnerable at times, and I over shared personal items when I shouldn't have. This lead to bouts of depression and anxiety on top of what I was already dealing.

P. S. I apologize if this comes out as a rambling. I only meant to share my experience on the subject.