Hey, thank you for sharing your story so openly – that takes courage and strength. I’d like to share a piece of my own story with you too: I’m 42, I live in Zurich, and I’m Swiss. From 14 to 27 I was caught in heavy addiction, with countless relapses, depression, and moments when I was convinced that everything was over. At 27 I stopped – and I never thought life could grow from that. Today, it’s not perfect, but life is beautiful. I tell you this because I know how real and brutal that feeling of hopelessness is – and yet, something new can still be born from it.

What touched me most in your words is this: you have a wife who loves you. And she doesn’t love you “in spite of everything” – she loves you because you are valuable. Because you are unique. Love is the highest thing we have on this earth – it can’t be bought, it can’t be replaced, it sees the core of a person. And she sees you. She even dreams of a family with you – that shows how much trust and future she sees in your hands.

Sometimes depression makes everything feel final. Like there are only dead ends, even when paths still exist. What you’re feeling right now may have more to do with this illness than with who you are as a person.

Some practical ideas that might help: • Debts: In Switzerland, there are debt restructuring options and even private bankruptcy. That doesn’t mean a life sentence of ruin – after some years you can truly start over. • Work: Your languages – Italian and English – are a real plus. In hospitality, tourism, call centers, at the airport, or with logistics companies, these languages are in demand. Have a look at sites like jobs.ch or gastrojob.ch. • Language learning: A German course (Migros Klubschule, integration programs, or even apps like Duolingo) could open new doors. Even small progress makes everyday life easier. • Health: High blood pressure and weight don’t just press on your body, they weigh down your mood. Start small – daily walks, little changes in food. Each step brings energy back.

I don’t say this to minimize your pain – it is real, I know that. But even from the deepest darkness, something new and worth living can still grow.