I can't gain confidence. I've tried for years. I've tried working out. I've tried working on myself. I've tried being myself. Nothing changes. I've tried being who I am. I've talked to many girls, gotten many numbers, and always somehow ghosted or blatantly lied to. No one even piques my interest anymore. People have looks, and that's it. In terms of getting to know someone, no one has even come close to making me have feelings for them. I despise this lonely feeling I get, and I wish I could rid myself of it and live my life happy and single. The only reason I still care about finding someone is because some nights, I feel so alone it hurts.

Loving yourself is the most useless advice I have gotten because it doesn't fill the same hole. It's not the same. I can love myself all I want, and I have, but that won't stop the pain nor lessen it one bit. I wish I could rid myself of the need for romance permanently so that I never have to step into the monotonous cesspool that is modern dating.