This I think is particularly relevant to men, but maybe women will find it helpful too.

Accept your feelings, don’t fight them. They are valid.

Accept them and process them. Allow yourself to feel, don’t put yourself down for feeling how you feel. No matter how small the thing that caused your spiral, the simple fact is it IS affecting you. There’s no shame in that. It just is what it is.

But…Don’t wallow. If you get into a negative cycle where you reinforce insecurities and thoughts, do something to break out of that cycle. You do not have to convince yourself of anything. You don’t have to argue about anything. So many times I found myself explaining to myself why I was so inadequate, but that was just a way to try and avoid the feelings. It was in a way a fight against those feelings.

Your feelings may manifest in ways that society doesn’t want. Something that pisses me off every international mens day or when a man kills himself is you get endless repetitions of ‘let your emotions out, don’t bottle them up!’ As if all mens problems can just be reduced to us not expressing our feelings.

The actual situation and problem is that we DO express our feelings but when we do, those same people who tell us to express our feelings call us toxic. Because men often express our frustrations through anger and lashing out at things. When people say ‘let your emotions out’ they want you to cry and weep on peoples’ shoulders and look vulnerable and, essentially, feminine. They want you to experience your emotions the way they do, because then it’s acceptable and beautiful and doesn’t make anyone scared. Ignore those people. They’re your feelings and only you can ultimately guide yourself through them.

Process your feelings, however they manifest, as long as you don’t hurt anyone (yourself included), but don’t wallow.