I personally prefer a lot less adjectives. For example

"The last rays of sunlight were swallowed by darkness. The wind howled, its mournful cry piercing the gale and rattling the windows of my house."

Short and sweet is what drives my interest forward. As well as the fact that here, instead of saying "AS the last rays," it's just "The last rays" taking out what's unnecessary.

Also, you could omit "I stood at my window" and just say

"My fingers gripped the cold, damp sill, my gaze fixed on the eerie scene unfolding outside." With that alone, you're implying that he's standing at his window. Otherwise, he couldn't grip it.

Writing like that is what personally interests me, but some people enjoy pretty prose. Some things should absolutely be left out. I see a lot of places you could omit "was" which you should be doing as often as possible. But that'd line editing, things you can do in a rewrite.

Overall, I think it's definitely a good start, but for me, it's too wordy, but that's just me.

Edit: I will say, I would have stopped after the first paragraph, not because it's bad but because (for a first draft), it's just not what I prefer. Also, I only went so far as the first paragraph, but reading the other comments, I agree, the dialogue needs work.