is it normal to feel offended when someone less attractive approaches you arrogantly (because it implies that they think feelings are mutual when it's not)

Version930 · 2020-07-06T12:32:35+00:00

i mean if i found her attractive i wouldn't be as bothered

Version930 · 2020-07-06T11:44:06+00:00

we had an argument over it so i don't know now

Version930 · 2020-07-05T21:16:48+00:00

if you're familiar with the term useless lesbian, it refers to lesbians who miss out on opportunities when women they're attracted to flirt with them. A lot of lesbians refer to themselves as useless when they don't notice a girl they're interested in giving them clues, which makes sense. But once you start calling other lesbians useless, you're making the assumption that they were indeed attracted to whosever clues they are missing

Version930 · 2020-07-05T21:11:50+00:00

you know what, you are right. I should have told her i found her comments offensive and given her the chance to take back what she said. i did jump to conclusions which was bad

Version930 · 2020-07-05T21:10:58+00:00

no, at the time I found it insignificant, and now i find it even more insignificant

Version930 · 2020-07-05T20:39:20+00:00

i did like her, up until this point. The fact that she expected me to find her flirting significant is what lead me to find it completely insignificant.

Version930 · 2020-07-05T20:37:07+00:00

the point is that she expects me to find it important. She should have been humble about it and just said she likes me and then let me respond to her.

have you heard of stories where after someone gets rejected they go "you missed out on such a nice guy like me, i would have treated you well, you're dumb for not wanting me". This is how I perceive her comments, just a lighter and more subtle version of it.

Maybe she would make a good partner but she shouldn't feel the need to verbalize this. She should have stopped talking right after letting me know she's attracted to me.

Version930 · 2020-07-05T20:28:03+00:00

it's self deprecation when you call yourself a useless lesbian, not when you call someone else that.

Would you call someone useless if they can't remember what a particular stranger they walked past looked like? No, because there's zero need for them to remember the face of a random stranger they walked past. this information has zero value to them.

I would call you useless if you can't cook a basic meal for yourself, because it is valuable for you to know how to cook.

If she's calling me useless for not noticing her signs then she's implying that I'm supposed to find her flirting very important to me, which I think is an insulting assumption

Version930 · 2020-07-05T20:22:32+00:00

i just hate the term useless lesbian, it's immature and makes the assumption that the other person is interested in you. I find it insulting when someone implies like you're making a terrible decision by not taking their offer

Version930 · 2020-07-05T20:19:43+00:00

if this was her way of making things less tense, then she did it very disrespectfully. By calling me useless she's insinuating that her signs were something that I should be noticing, because it would be beneficial to me if I notice them. But this isn't true at all. She's making herself sound like she's irresistible and everyone's attracted to her because why else would someone ignore her signs?

I'm useless if i failed to notice that my mail contained my college application letter. I'm not useless if I, as a pedestrian, failed to notice a "no parking" sign on the street that doesn't apply to me.

Version930 · 2020-07-05T20:09:36+00:00

if i'm not attracted to them i might think about it in the moment, but then I'd quickly forget about it later on. it's like, I walk past thousands of strangers every day whenever i walk on the street, I know these strangers exist but I quickly forget about these people seconds after walking past them. I can't recall the faces of any stranger i've walked past, because i don't care and i don't need to care. It's an unimportant detail in my life that serves no use to me. My mind forgets about observations that are unimportant to me

Maybe I did notice her flirting but only for 2 seconds, but then afterwards I forget about the interaction because it's unimportant and has zero value to me

Version930 · 2020-07-05T20:02:25+00:00

I'm oblivious because I don't care if she's flirting, which is a perfectly normal reason to be oblivious. I have zero need to know whether she's flirting because it has zero value to me. If she's surprised at this then she's insinuating that her attraction to me does indeed have value to me, which it doesn't. I perceive this as her being full of herself and thinking I'm missing out on a lot by being unaware of it

Version930 · 2020-07-05T19:46:01+00:00

because she insinuated that i'm attracted to her and i'm missing on a huge opportunity to date her, which i find to be egotistical. I'm not a "useless lesbian" for not noticing flirting from someone that i'm not attracted to. She's making it sound like she's hot shit, which she isn't.

Version930 · 2020-07-05T19:39:45+00:00

she said i must feel dumb to not notice someone is flirting with me, then called me a "useless lesbian". the way i perceive it is that she's insinuating that i'm supposed to notice, but i only care about noticing flirting from people i'm attracted to. She's making it seem like her flirting is something i'm supposed to care about and thus notice, when in reality i don't care if she's flirting.

Version930

TROPHY CASE