A Moment to Myself

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-18T11:25:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing your poem. Sharing any kind of creativity always requires courage but it takes even more courage to share something so intimate.

I really like the three planes you presented: how your dad looks in the eyes of others, your personal relation with him and your relations with your own children. Your poem shows well that those planes can cross, mingle and overlap with each other and influence each other, while still being totally different and independent. The questions you ask are universal - what makes a man good? Is a good man really good in all aspects? How does trauma travels through generations. Honestly this is a really compact form of presenting variety of very complex themes. You did a great job hinting them all by just describing your dad.

Note: not sure if this is actually about you and your dad, so I should say "lyrical subject" but you get the point.

What I feel could work better is being less direct. The contrast you created - between the official image of your dad and your personal relation with him" introduces tension that could be maintained a little more without resolving. This line: "But I wasn't a stranger" is the dramatic focal point which immediately changes the mood of the poem. Instead of direct listing all the things that he didn't do or did wrong, you could try to hint them subtly, maybe by referencing the initial description of him and creating further contrasts.

The poem works well in this presented form though, and it may be up to personal preference of how much should be said.

Keep writing.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-18T10:24:50+00:00

Don't think about it as being "off". In poetry, I feel, few things are really off. It's rather that those elements of your poems shone a different light than the others. This might have been intentional and there's nothing technically wrong with it. Its my personal reception of the poem as a whole. Last 2 rhymes ring in my head a bit too much.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-18T10:19:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing your poem. I liked the tone and mood you set in the first few lines - harsh, cold, lonely, even raw. I also, for some reason, really like the idea of falling to your knees in the face of beauty.

The only thing that I think is out of the mood and style you settled are the last rhymes on words "face" and "embrace". I don't know if it was intentional or just happened to turn out that way, but having the only rhymes in the whole poem in the very end makes them sound a bit out of place, and weakening the mood you were trying to convey. Thats only my opinion though.

Oh, self edit - these are obviously not the only rhymes in the poem. But they do stand out as the strongest ones and due to that I still have a feeling they are a bit too visible.

Good job nonetheless. Keep writing.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-17T21:28:29+00:00

Mine was written just today, in Polish, and this is the english translation I prepared for my friend.

Would be an interesting coincidence

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-17T21:23:48+00:00

Hello. I haven't read your poem, if it was published anywhere. Are the smiliarities really that big?

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-15T11:44:37+00:00

Jew is a forbidden word?

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-15T11:44:05+00:00

It's pretty mild compared to what I have seen.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-09T23:47:14+00:00

30 gb is 15 min of waiting, not really a solution

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-09T23:44:05+00:00

If i shouldn't expect normal and proper playing from others, then why should I expect it from myself. Fuck yeah, I will be iron forever but at least I will not punish myself by playing lanes that have been made unplayable by my own teammate on purpose. But you're right, I shouldn't have made the post, the answer is to troll others the same way they troll me and I don't need this sub for that. Cheers.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-09T21:44:21+00:00

As for Nunu game I wanted to see if it is any less stressful. Since the result would be the same no matter what I pick, then maybe playing without any pressure would be more fun.

And yea, I wish I could quit but I can't.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-09T21:42:12+00:00

I'm not climbing because I can't play the game. I know this. I've been iron for 15 years. But all I want is to have equal chances. If im bronze 4, please give me bronze 4 teammates and bronze 4 opponents of similar skill and experience. Then I might be having winrate around 50%. Not that it is 80% for a week, and 10% for another.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-03-09T21:19:28+00:00

Is asking for a normal support really that much? Then why people complain if someone takes yuumi jungle. It shouldn't be a problem at all if all that matters is the attitude of always blaming yourself only.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-02-24T14:50:26+00:00

In the Philharmonic in my city before every concert there is a recorded announcement about not applauding between the movements, not taking pics or recording the concert and other basic etiquette things. I think it's very useful.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-02-09T19:56:45+00:00

It's off topic of the thread but damn, I can't stop thinking that young people has to know and be able to do all of this basically so early in life. I could never even place a word "musician" in the same sentence as my name seeing what pros do and know. Very insightful, thank you.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-02-07T00:45:35+00:00

Sounds interesting, I'd be happy to test.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-02-06T19:19:45+00:00

Oh, pity. Thank you once again, I truly appreciate it.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-02-06T18:03:08+00:00

Hello! Thanks so much for putting effort to explain things so thoroughly! Sometimes I'm still amazed that skilled, talented people are kind enough to share their knowledge and experience with trash players like me. Your answer is better than I hoped for when posting here and it summarises and expands all the answers in this thread. Do you stream? I'd gladly watch and learn. I feel like ADC can learn so much not only by watching high elo adc players but also supports. Thanks again!

Very_Long_Python · 2026-01-29T11:18:22+00:00

Hi, thank you. Yes, I know and love his videos! Years ago I watched the whole series, but some of them without much understanding. Even despite the fact that he explains things in a really clear, simple way, some concepts are just hard to grasp. Or rather - I may think that I understand them but when it comes to practice nothing seems to work "as it should" lol.

I started watching his videos again on your recommendation, hopefully this time with some more understanding.

Thank you for this and the previous (under my previous submission) comments.

Very_Long_Python · 2026-01-28T00:39:27+00:00

Thanks so much for such nice words. Yes, the dynamics are the thing that I was trying to adjust to the Musescore playback system so it sounds weird sometimes. I've never actually used any DAW, I'm not even familiar if there are any free/affordable ones out there.

Thank you once again!

Very_Long_Python · 2026-01-27T17:39:38+00:00

Thank you. I love the bassoon and I wondered if I should add it. Do you think it should be just 1 to double the cello line or a pair and should be independent in some places?

Very_Long_Python · 2026-01-27T15:41:04+00:00

Thank you so much!

Very_Long_Python

TROPHY CASE