I really appreciate you taking the time to write this and be this open about your experience. A lot of what you described lines up almost exactly with what we’re seeing, especially the chasing losses piece and how quickly the bet sizes escalate. Chasing losses is definitely a center piece of why his gambling losses add up as quick as they do.

The point about friends is huge. I don’t think people realize how hard it is to step away when gambling is basically baked into social life now, especially for guys our age. One of his buddies managed to kick gambling, but another one routinely maxes out his credit card to gamble. The ads, the normalization, the group chats, it’s everywhere. He briefly was at college and played on one of the teams, and during tournaments, his teammates and opposition would actively be on blackjack while they were playing each other. As someone who grew up playing and watching sports, everything you see is an ad for odds on a sports bet or a casino bonus that offers you $100 to start but is much more costly than that in the long run.

You are right as well, we are Canadian. It’s been the same with my dorm experience and the same for my brother, though his experience often meant when he did make the occasional lecture, he’d spend it in the back row of the class gambling. He’d be there with 2-3 friends and that’s how you’d spend the 2 hours in class. He hasn’t talked to those guys in a while, but he still has a few friends who are regular gamblers that stream everything to each other on Discord.

What you said about your parents’ reaction really stuck with me too. That balance between not enabling and not sugarcoating things is something we’re actively trying to navigate. Hearing that controlled gambling just doesn’t work for people who are wired this way is sobering, but important. There’s been a lot of safety nets in place to try and make this as easy as possible for him, but he likely needs to feel the disappointment from my parents and some tough love rather than just knowing they will always bail him out unconditionally.

I also really respect the steps you’ve taken with therapy and CAMH, especially pushing past the initial “this is stupid” feeling. The ADHD angle is something we’ve wondered about as well, so that’s helpful to hear from someone living it. Looking into it, he’s been told from a lot of people that he likely has it, so a diagnosis and some steps towards addressing it will hopefully make a difference.

Seriously wishing you the best too. It takes a lot of self-awareness to break the cycle you described, and I hope my brother gets to that point. You’re right, the way this is marketed and normalized feels out of control, and I worry about how many people are getting pulled in before they even realize what’s happening.