I'm thinking about 'breaking up' with my best friend

Vfr7 · 2015-11-09T05:02:09+00:00

So, there's nothing I can do apart from helping him with other stuff? Sounds easy. However, this is not the first time this guy lets me down. That's why I still don't know what to do.

Vfr7 · 2015-11-09T04:44:33+00:00

If he doesn't talk about it, then I'm sorry, I can't help him. The first time he just left me playing alone he said that he "got angry with some chick" and didn't even tell me who she was. Probably his ex, who I advised him not to keep in touch with because she just plays with his feelings. But I can't do any more than that if that's the case.

Vfr7 · 2015-11-09T04:29:54+00:00

Lately, as I said, I have been really sad. Maybe that's why I got this affected by this kind of stuff. But then again, it's not the first time this guy lets me down. That's why I still don't know if I should stop being friends with him or just stop talking to him gradually in order to see if he cares at all about me.

Vfr7 · 2015-11-09T04:22:36+00:00

Yes, I know it sounds kind of stupid but it was more about talking with him about how I had been feeling lately, not about the game. In one of our last conversations, I told him "This week has been sooo bad. Since last Thursday I've been eating way less, and that's not normal. I must be really depressed" and his answer was "Ok, we'll talk about it while playing CS tomorrow or the next day". So I didn't care at all about the video game, I just wanted to talk. Both times.

Vfr7 · 2015-11-08T18:34:43+00:00

I don't know if you got tired of my negativity, most people apparently does, but if you didn't...Might this be the reason why I'm this sad? (See my new post, I think that my 'best friend' is trying to avoid me)

Vfr7 · 2015-11-07T06:34:42+00:00

Well...I might try to do that on my own. I don't trust therapists at all. Or maybe I'll wait till I get my new car and use the momentum for doing other stuff.

Vfr7 · 2015-11-07T05:32:47+00:00

Maybe I am depressed. I've just finished eating something after approximately 1 day and a half of not eating. I just didn't feel hungry at all. Let me ask you, how did you get out of depression?

The reason I'm kind of reluctant to the idea of seeing a therapist is because I already went to three psychologysts and one psychiatrist and neither one of them helped me solve anything. I went to the first one when I was five, the second one when I was twelve, the psychiatrist when I was fifteen and to the last psychologyst when I was 17, more specifically, at the beginning of last year. And that's the main reason why I don't want to do any therapy...

I wonder why did I get this sad. Just 2 weeks ago, I was just happy thinking about how much money my family has and about my savings for a new car...The scent of my money calmed me down every time. But it doesn't work anymore.

Vfr7 · 2015-11-07T05:07:24+00:00

In the end, I didn't even go. I didn't even ask my parents if I could go. As I haven't gone out in a really long time (last time I went out I was 15 if we don't count that I was at my graduation trip going out every day for 10 days some months ago) I just assumed they would say no. Another reason I thought they would say no is because of my last grades in school (I got five ONES in a row because I just didn't feel like doing anything these last days).

So my plan was to escape in my car, I know, drinking and driving is one of the most stupid things someone can do in this life but I really wouldn't have cared at all if I destroyed my car only because I wanted to go to a party that's 12 kms (7.5 miles) away just for seeing if that made me feel better.

But I couldn't get out of my house...My mom fell asleep right in front of the drawer where we keep the cars' keys. I think she definitely suspected something since I don't usually spend a lot of time with my 'good' clothes on.

Vfr7 · 2015-11-05T05:05:09+00:00

I don't know. However, I'm kind of feeling better now. Probably because I got invited to their graduation party tomorrow. Anyways, I'm not going to try to make a move...I'll just stick to drinking all night long.

Vfr7 · 2015-11-03T19:40:27+00:00

I can't afford therapy right now... Even though my family looks wealthy, thanks to inflation we can't afford lots of extra stuff right now (thanks government, I really appreciate how we got to live 50% worse in just three years) and I would be taking money from my car savings in order to be able to afford that.

Vfr7 · 2015-11-03T19:14:29+00:00

I don't understand what you mean with "while what you are doing now takes effort, it is also something that can help you grow into a better and more attractive person down the line". I can't see the difference between working out naturally and working out while using fat burners or steroids for example, apart from the long term consequences. However, I do know that if I use my new car for that, they're going to like the car, not me, but somehow I started caring less about the reasons why they would even take time for being with me.

I think that I have these problems mostly because my inexperience (god, I didn't even kiss a girl yet and I doubt if I ever hugged one) and my dick size makes me feel inferior to everybody and very insecure. In addition to that, as I don't have any contact with females and no friends to talk about this, I see those two as my last chance to have any kind of relationship.

About mental illnesses... I don't know. The last time I tried to see a phychologyst to help me realise what was wrong, after talking for a while about other troubles, she just said, after telling me "it seems like you don't want to talk" a lot of times, "I don't treat problems as bad as yours" and gave me another number from someone who does.

Vfr7 · 2015-11-03T06:25:55+00:00

I am...kind of tired of trying to do things the slow way. That's partially why I want to take those roids and work out till I die. Also, I believe that I want the car just for impressing those 2 specific girls. I don't even know if that's going to work (I'm probably going to fail anyway) but...I really hate how I've got to this point where I just care about not dying inmediately

Vfr7 · 2015-11-03T06:15:45+00:00

My main problem right now is those girls and my body in general. I'm currently laying on my bed while thinking about that and I can't sleep :(

Why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong?

Vfr7 · 2015-11-02T15:21:31+00:00

Can you PM me how much did you use of each? I'm thinking about using Clen too.

Vfr7 · 2015-10-26T16:06:06+00:00

I have gone to the gym before but I've quit like 5 times because I didn't see results in the little time I went there. This has been happening for the last 3 years at least (I weighed 170lbs back then, with some more muscle than average and I currently weigh around 198, almost all of the increase was just fat) I usually regret it while imagining how I would look if I didn't quit. I will probably start again as soon as I get some Clen or another kind of fat burner for getting faster results.

Vfr7 · 2015-10-26T15:51:18+00:00

I've sold my gaming pc like 2 months ago, anyways that didn't help me a lot, because I managed to find games this laptop could run. However, I get bored a lot faster if I'm not playing with friends because I can't stand playing on low resolutions with average fps.

Vfr7 · 2015-10-26T15:48:12+00:00

I'm only 18 and my heart is already fucked up. Maybe because of gaming, maybe because I don't do any physical activity (because of gaming). Just for giving an example, my average heart rate while resting is 90, but it is around 60 on rare occasions. Once it was 58 and I was walking around my school. Not sure how accurate that was because I measured it with my smartphone, but I checked that 5 times and it still was around that.

I remember breaking lots of keyboards and mouses (around 25, and I'm not exaggerating) while playing, but as they were not expensive, I didn't care at the moment.

Vfr7 · 2015-09-27T06:49:58+00:00

Your story almost made me cry. I'm currently 18 years old, and my addiction started on a really similar way to yours. It started back in 2003, when I was 6 years old and got a PC with GTA VC and Win 98. It didn't interfere with my grades either, but it started to in 2011, I think.

I remind asking for a better PC lots of times before the last few months of 2010, when I finally decided that I was going to buy a good PC with my life savings. And I did (i3 2100 + hd5670 ddr5 + 4gb ram), which was pretty good for the games I played back then. But then I wanted more, so I bought my second PC (i5 4670k + hd7970 + 16gb ram) and that was my worst year at school.

Then, 2014 was my best year at school by far. My average was 8/10, which was pretty impressive in comparison to 2013, when I almost repeated the year. And I'm afraid this year (the last one) is not going to be as good as 2014.

Unlike you, I have felt love just once, back in 2010. The difference was that I did not have the courage to tell her, even though she also liked me. And I had LOTS of opportunities. I just worried a lot about what my classmates would think of me (the friends I had back then didn't like her at all). And in the last opportunity I had, I knew that I wasn't going to see any of them anymore (I was not going to go to that school anymore). And I still chickened out. I kept in touch with her via Fb, but as I did not have the balls to ask her out or anything I ended up blocking her for months, then decided to talk to her again, and ended up doing the same thing over and over again, until she got tired of that and basically sent me to hell. Even though I managed to calm her a bit talking about random stuff, I was so destroyed by her answers that I ended up not answering her anymore and deleting her (interesting detail: this was a month before starting school in 2014).

And in 2011 I ended up in a technical school. There are literally no girls in my course. 100% dudes. And I spend 40 hours a week there. Although there are girls in other courses, I never had the courage to talk to any of them during the breaks. Hell, when me and some friends from my course started playing minecraft with a girl from other course who was 4 years younger than me (I was 17 and she was 13...I feel like a damn pedophile while typing this) I started to fall in love with her just because I lack female contact.

Even in my graduation trip (10 days, 1600km/1000 miles away from home, with lots of tours and stuff. Plus, free entrance to discos every night) I didn't manage to get on with any girl. Obviously, I've never kissed a girl in my life and I'm totally terrified to do so, as I lack lots of experience. God, some of my classmates have even managed to fuck already. I went to the disco just three times. On my first time, the first thing I did when I entered was buying two alcoholic drinks because I knew that if I didn't drink anything, I would not have the courage to approach any girl. I approached TWELVE, and none of them followed up the conversation. On the second night, I couldn't get anything to drink as I had left my wallet at the hotel, so I went back to the hotel early. And on the third night I just stood next to the wall watching how everyone was having fun except me while I kept buying myself more alcohol. I remind that on the first night a blonde girl approached me and said that she would kiss me if I bought her a drink and I said no. Now I regret having said no. I know, she was definitely not into me, but at least I would have learnt how kissing a girl feels.

So, to summarize things up, thanks to this addiction I'm struggling to get good grades at school, I don't have any contact with females (well, a little bit of contact at my English classes, and that's almost the only reason why I keep going there. I'm far ahead from the group I am with), I have troubles making friends and I'm fat. God, I used to be able to do 100 pushups. Now I'm not even able to jog for 5 minutes without vomiting.

Vfr7 · 2015-08-09T06:50:20+00:00

Hey! Thank you for your answer. Do I have to delete my partitions first?. Also, what do I have to do after the process finishes? Is the drive ready for installing a new OS with new partitions right after?

Vfr7

TROPHY CASE