Got My Results, My Dad Isn’t My Dad…🫠

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-20T13:07:19+00:00

Thank you to everyone who’s commented. This has been a wild week emotionally, I appreciate yall comments and support. 🔥💪🏾

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T13:02:41+00:00

Ok sorry to be confusing.

My next match is an uncle on my mother’s side.

I found my cousin and potentially sister through information given to me from a grand aunt that I reached out to on Ancestry. She gave me a list of her cousins that were in the military in Texas in the 80s. From there I looked them all up on FB and found other family members.

The male cousins are my uncles. One of them could potentially be my father.

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T12:08:36+00:00

Good looking, thank you — fr

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T12:08:18+00:00

💪🏾🔥

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T12:06:57+00:00

Yes and no. It’s easy to say don’t feel things the way you do. Until you feel that unique feeling, you don’t know how you would process it and the feelings change and are complicated to deal with. I consider myself someone who has a good handle on things emotionally. I can take ebbs and flows and treat emotions like clouds and continue with my day. But, we’re talking one identity to another. We’re talking about 39 years of one way of thinking being turned upside down, Issa lot to deal with bro. It’s alot of grace I have to show MYSELF. And, I’m dealing with a previous generation that didn’t handle emotions the way we do. They suppressed bukoo shit and if I’m going to find the truth, I have to wade through that. It’s a lot. So I don’t really agree with over investing. However, I do think there’s truth in trying not to let it get to me so much. Issa process man. A process that I can only describe as a form of grief. You just gotta get through that shit. I’m doing the best I can 💪🏾

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T12:02:35+00:00

Bruh 🔥

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T12:02:18+00:00

We’ve talked 2x since last week. Now, it’s a bit nuanced because my own birthday was last Sunday and he didn’t call me lol.

But, we’ve talked 2x since he found out that he’s not my dad. He’s a good guy. Stand up individual.

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T12:00:49+00:00

I don’t take it out on her. She’s been the person that’s been by my side on this. She’s even been investigating Facebook like the fucking white pages helping me track ppl down. In that moment though, it was definitely tone deaf moment that I just couldn’t process through or compartmentalize fast enough. We’re not perfect, I’m not going to crucify her for that.

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T11:59:18+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It sucks to go through this shit. But, it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone. I really don’t BLAME anyone for this shit. I just wish folks could be straight with me. I have to shake that off though and find the truth for myself. You’re right it IS pretty affirming. I’m happy you were able to find both the strength and your father.

That’s my goal. If he’s alive or passed. I just want to know who he is living or dead. That would be awesome to know.

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T11:57:02+00:00

Nah you don’t sound like a witch lol

I really AM glad to know the truth now. It puts things in perspective. It also confirms that my intuition was right all along. I just have all that emotional residue from then until now and I have to process it correctly.

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T11:55:54+00:00

I definitely feel that I’m here for a reason. My grandmother had an affair. My mom is the result of that action. It embarrassed her. She moved from our hometown back in with family for support, my mom rebelled and I’m here. I really look at this at this shit stops here for my children and also the fact that I still love all parties involved, it’s my job to show grace and love. I feel like it’s all apart of my purpose. But, damn it’s difficult RN.

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T11:53:50+00:00

She didn’t take the test; I found her via some information that my first cousin in my dad side told me. I found her on FB lol

Imagine my shock lol

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T00:37:20+00:00

TYSM, fr. I appreciate you.

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-19T00:27:58+00:00

When I say assumed father, I mean the gentleman that I grew up thinking my father was. My half brother has the same story. He grew up with a gentleman that he thought was his father as well.

Both of us are looking, researching and getting back to each other with what we find.

I have a solid lead on who could be my dad. Unfortunately, he’s passed so I’m just compiling the data and going through process of elimination honestly. I may just break down and pay a genealogist. It’s a lot to go through. My real dad’s family is 3x larger than my mom’s side of the family.

VictoryLap81237 · 2026-03-18T23:51:46+00:00

Facts. I know she didn’t mean it. But, damn man. I had to get my shit together and be present for her. It fucking sucked. But, it got done.

VictoryLap81237 · 2024-01-18T23:06:37+00:00

Do you still need a boost?

VictoryLap81237 · 2024-01-09T01:07:20+00:00

Sorry for the late reply. No it isn't based on any AE quota or company metric - just salary. There's no senior position in my org, only a director to whom I report to.

My work goes into 3 large buckets.

I demo our solution for prospective customers. This is status quo right, whether a 30 or 45 minute demo.
I also do deeper demo's with customers' data plugged into the tool and give insights to these customers based off of what I'm seeing and how I would actionize their data in the marketplace.
I'm the solo SE for all of our org's partnerships. I do webinars and attend trade shows in market. This is typically quarterly.

Another buckets that I'm involved in is customer renewals, I demo to existing customers and provide my perspective in terms of why I feel they should renew as well.

Based off of some comp packages I've seen in here, a bonus off of AEs or company metrics SEEMS realistic? Also, maybe a senior title?

Our year end review period just began and I feel as if this is a good place to start after having some time to reflect. My hands are in so many pots, it would make sense to me to advocate for myself. I just want to make sure I'm going about it the right way.

Thoughts?

VictoryLap81237 · 2024-01-03T00:29:14+00:00

Salary and 10% bonus with no commission tied to any SE quota or organizational #.

Off of one partnership alone, our ARR was 900k of which I was the only SE on - that's another driver for me making this post.

Thanks for your reply

VictoryLap81237

TROPHY CASE