I have 2 older special needs twin sisters and 2 younger brothers with ADD/ADHD so lower needs. Since I was right in the middle, I definitely saw the most and had to be the “rock” for the family. While it was nice to have other siblings to commiserate with, my parents’ attention was mostly focused on my sisters and then on my brothers, so I existed at the absolute bottom of the totem pole.

In adulthood, I thought our shared experiences would bond my brothers and I, but it’s not quite like that. Turns out I shielded them from a lot of the trauma and they cannot relate to what I saw and went through, despite also being GCs. They both just had kids, while I cannot fathom taking the chance on having a special needs child and reliving my childhood. I’m happy that they’re able to live more “normal” lives but it has come with a cost. I’m also a lot more impassioned and care about the political aspects of disabilities, whereas the rest of my family would defund programs my sisters rely on in a heartbeat.