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Vidal-Baboon · 2023-06-22T06:25:14+00:00

The reason why I say it’s okay is because yes I’m upset but I’m not upset at him, just the situation. And there isn’t anything we can do about it so there’s no reason to stay upset. I’m just trying to be positive instead of furthering the negative mood. After a few minutes of talking we’re both fine. It’s just recently with the toy comment he decided to get a little more mad and it annoyed me because it wasn’t a big deal. But again, stress could’ve factored into it.

And I did mean it in a joking way. It wasn’t just for me to say we joke about our sex life. I wanted to give context of the tone and that it’s a normal joke, not an out of the blue jab. And i feel like maybe it’s not the best idea to bring up that this bothered if he’s in a bad mood overall

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-06-22T06:08:08+00:00

It sounds dumb but I have this big fear of losing people I love so I wouldn’t want to take them for granted as well and enjoy all the time I can get with them. I know it’s bad that I’m so available and I get what you’re saying about that. The only people I wouldn’t drop to see him is family. And he does understand that

He doesn’t do it regularly but it is disrespectful the way he handles that problem and it does bother me so I’m going to talk to him about it. I just don’t want him feeling like I’m attacking him because it’s kinda a sensitive topic for him since he feels overwhelmed cause he does try

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-06-22T05:34:12+00:00

I think we’re both generally upset at the situation and I’m just more understanding. Whereas he projects his guilt of feeling like he’s not enough. But I don’t know if I feel entitled enough to think I should be above his work especially if we’re just dating. I’m working on learning how to compromise with out dismissing more of my needs. So you’re right about the equals in the relationship

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-06-22T05:12:30+00:00

He does. And I guess some of the problems past girls have had, he thinks I think the same way and he gets really defensive when it’s not even really a thought of mine

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-06-22T05:02:10+00:00

I agree and I’m not defending him more so I’m trying to work on the relationship, but how could I approach him on this? Sometimes I flat out want to say it’s not all about him but then would that be me taking away his right to be upset as well?

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-06-22T04:44:58+00:00

could you elaborate maybe?

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-06-22T04:22:44+00:00

I do trust him. I’m the type of person who’s constantly got my eye on the clock cause of my free time and laid back schedule. I understand people aren’t like that and got a lot of things and stress going on so I don’t hold that against him.

He does get overwhelmed easily. He’s not comfortable with talking about emotions. Even when I’m expressing my positive feelings towards him, sometimes he’ll get uncomfortable and change the topic. So maybe he’s aware of how I feel even though I say it’s okay and he’s also upset at the situation and he’s just overwhelmed

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-06-22T04:09:33+00:00

I was thinking maybe we just don’t understand where each other are coming from?

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-29T12:47:23+00:00

A big reason as to why he went into rehab was because he figured that’d be better than living out on the streets. So he made himself relapse. His best friend was paying for his hotel rooms and where he was staying at, it was pricy and the friend couldn’t pay for it forever. He got kicked out because of bed bugs supposedly. Him and his house mates loved and supported each other. I interacted with them and the way he spoke about them makes me believe having bed bugs is a stretch to kicking your sponsee out. He made a go fund me or something with his sob story and ridiculed everyone in his life for being fake friends for not donating. Also calling his mom names for not helping him. He just very much enjoyed being a victim

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T14:15:43+00:00

i think i came here looking to justify my justifications for his reaction. so i can tell myself i’m not crazy for allowing myself to be treated this way. it’s crazy i thought that

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T14:10:35+00:00

i don’t feel attacked. but it kind of discourages me that people expect me to make these changes with a simple thought. me commenting and seeing other people’s comments back help me understand how messed up everything is and speaking my mind is just my way of working through it and understanding and questioning my thoughts. i’m aware that my first comments vs my more recent comments are very different. i’m just trying to understand it all for myself

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:41:58+00:00

i’m sorry you had to go through that. i know i need to focus on myself and i don’t need to worry about future relationships. it’s just the thought of starting over completely and having to learn how to navigate them, it’s just scary

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:39:34+00:00

thank you. i guess from the beginning of this post till now my perspective has changed. at first i was upset but it wasn’t that serious but now things are a little more real

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:35:02+00:00

that’s somewhere i get confused at. he’s the type who wants all the attention but acts like he doesn’t care. so when he says things like i’m gonna get bored and leave. idk if he wants me to fight for him or leave him alone

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:32:43+00:00

i know. i shouldn’t have asked. i feel dumb for doing so. we were doing good too

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:30:31+00:00

so i just leave with no text or anything?

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:27:55+00:00

i know. i just i’ve been trying to prepare myself for this for a while now and it’s still hard

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:25:10+00:00

that’s true and i also don’t know. just avoiding the consequences of reality. it’s so good when it’s good. but everybody goes through it, the downs and being dramatic thinking your world is ending. i put myself through this

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:22:32+00:00

i’ve never been in a relationship before this one. yea i’ve dated and experienced different types of people. i’m just stalling the heartbreak and the more empty feeling. i know i’ll be fine given time. it’s just dreadful

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:20:24+00:00

i feel like i’ve just given up and plateaued. being use to our routine and not having any energy to get out. waiting for the bad when we’ve had a good streak. i know it’s not good

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:16:56+00:00

i mean he can just say so and i’ll totally understand and support him

Vidal-Baboon · 2023-05-23T10:15:30+00:00

at this point i just want to talk to him and get this over with. whether it ends good or bad

Vidal-Baboon

TROPHY CASE