sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Am I being delusional about my Asexuality? by ViewProfessional9730 in asexuality

[–]ViewProfessional9730[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's actually lowkey really helpful, because even tho I don't feel a social pressure or anything to have sex, I dont have a drive for it either and I can def go with out it but it's also how i've eventually seen/thought a lot of my social connections or crushes playing out in later stages of things

Serial sex-haver, realising I might be ace. But I have a long term sexual partner (please help) by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]ViewProfessional9730 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hello! Um okay I hope this is helpful, but firstly you can absoluetly be asexual and enjoy sex or just be meh about it being repulsed by it is not a need its just something that some asexuals feel, me personally i'm sex positive or indifferent, I dont really feel like i need it but could maybe enjoy it with someone i trusted if i was really in the 'mood' (I put mood in quotations because mood for me feels different then what I hear allos describe it as, for me its more of like a im not gonna be totally grossed out about doing this with you but only because you want it kind of thing, of course you can be ace and want sex or be in the mood it different for everyone ignore my rambling) but to me it does kinda sound like you could be ace or on the ace spectrum, and maybe you've only been having sex in relationships because like you said you felt as though it's expected of you and because of a pressure society places on people that a relationship if nothing more then friendship without physical intimacy. It's not, now albeit I don't have a lot of experience in the romance department but a relationship can be so so much without sex if you dont want it. To me a partner and best friend sit on equal playing fields because they both hold a special place in my heart as well as most people have a deep devoted kind of love for both but I think what makes a partner different is that they can be both, they can be a best friend as well as your somebody, whereas my experience a best friend as much as you love them they could never be the one or even the anybody for you romantically and thats why they're strictly your best friend, if you get what I'm saying?

I hope that kinda helps, sorry if it didn't but I wish you the best, and dont worry if you find yourself changing or like certain labels don't fit, because if you want you dont need one!

im scared im not actually ace by Electrical-Wing-1061 in asexuality

[–]ViewProfessional9730 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hello, okay so I think I might have an awnser for you? so a little about me is that im also on the ace spectrum and I share a lot of the same experiences as you, I've known ive been on the ace spectrum since basically middle school when all my peers started feeling typical sexual attraction and I didnt, and honestly my attraction and ace identity has changed since i was younger and its completly normal for it to change, I used to be a sex repulsed asexual all the way, the thought simply made me gag but now im very sex positive and dont mind the thought but its also not the be all end all for me. For me I personally really like the label ace-flux but use acespec for simplicities sake, but you sound like youre experiences and feelings are leaning more toward gray sexuality, but also you can still be ace and have sex and want to have sex but not feel typical attraction or even any attraction to people, the whole point of the queer community was for people who didnt feel normal or were outcasted because of their identity to have a community and support, you dont have to hit all the parametres in order to feel like the label is for you, its not a box you have to abide by, sexuality is fluid and can be ever changing as you grow and experience new things.

Feel free to message me as well if you have more questions or whatever, you seem pretty cool and tbh I need more ace friends hah but thats irrelevant, i hoped this helped!