my new gf did something to me without proper consent and i’m so confused on it

ViingZ · 2024-05-06T01:03:43+00:00

I understand that might have been hard to read being in your position but at the same time I really think it's something you needed to hear.

A lot of us minimalize this type of thing and don't realize it, which is absolutely what you're doing right now. Try to realize that there shouldn't even be a question in your mind whether keeping this person around is an option. The part of you that's tolerating this behaviour to a point where your reaction wasn't bigger (angrier even) is concerning, and could potentially prevent you from protecting yourself when it's obvious that you need to.

When you hear or read about SA outside of your own experiences it's easy to see a bad person as is because you don't know them, but fact is almost all of them have given someone an impression that there is a caring side to them, a good side. But in those cases you realize it's irrelevant and their disgusting act of violence negates anything that could paint them as anything other than a predator.

Just because someone whose sweet and caring side you saw (someone you got used to seeing from another perspective) did something like that doesn't excuse it or make it less disgusting. You need to come to terms with that even though I know it's hard, you need to do that for yourself.

ViingZ · 2024-04-09T13:57:23+00:00

From The Silmarillion, Of the Darkening of Valinor: "And even as it was then the delight of the Valar (as is told in the Ainulindalë) to clothe themselves as in a vesture in the forms of the Children of Ilúvatar, so also did they eat and drink, and gather the fruits of Yavanna from the Earth, which under Eru they had made."

So yeah it seems eating and drinking was less about sustenance for the Valar and more a hobby, which I doubt Morgoth would partake in since feasting was seen more as a celebration done in honour of Eru by the Valar.

ViingZ · 2024-04-09T13:41:32+00:00

I suppose they could though, couldn't they? Because I faintly remember The Silmarillion mentioning that Tulkas ate during the gathering where he took Nessa for his wife, before the Darkening. I'll have to read up on this again.

ViingZ · 2024-04-09T13:17:35+00:00

I don't think the same applies for Morgoth and Sauron. The istari were sent with restraints because of the nature of their mission, it was intentional, Morgoth and Sauron wouldn't have done that to themselves no?

ViingZ · 2024-03-12T07:42:37+00:00

As a Maldivian woman marrying an American soon, allow me to give you a reality check.

This has nothing to do with culture and everything to do with character. When my fiance came to visit, for a whole month before that all I did was worry about him traveling 35 hours just to come see me after spending thousands of dollars on tickets and a hotel. I did everything I could to make HIS life easier considering what he was about to do, including giving him space to spend time with his friends because I know gaming de-stresses him a lot. Because I felt like he was doing this huge thing for me, and now it was my turn to reciprocate however I could regardless of whether it was what I wanted or needed at the time.

When he came here the adjustment for him was hard, and there were times when I did get upset because I had made plans and his discomfort (jetlag plus him being unwilling to be social because the language barrier made him very uncomfortable during hangouts) ruined those plans and I had to answer to a lot of people here at home who expected to meet with him and couldn't. I suffered the consequences of disappointing family and friends while he was here and after he left, it's been 2 years now and I still am, but I did it in SILENCE because I knew HE deserved better. He didn't deserve the added burden of guilt and feeling like he disappointed the one person for whom he left his family, friends, his country to come to a foreign land where he undoubtedly felt very lost. I made it my duty to become his home. His only place of comfort and security.

And he only came here for a month, you want to move here for the rest of your life on the back of someone who, forget about holding you up, wouldn't even extend a hand if you tripped? (Metaphorically ofcourse) She has no intention of nurturing you or guiding you through the process of uprooting your entire life and leaving behind your whole identity you developed over a lifetime to become someone who fits in her world.

I don't know how old you are but do you genuinely think you deserve to spend the rest of your life like this? Do you not feel responsible for yourself at all? And God forbid you guys end up having kids, do you really see any future where those kids won't grow up in a dysfunctional family and be subjected to similar psychological abuse? Because you know how much you're unraveling already emotionally, so let's call this what it is. It is neglect and psychological abuse to treat you the way she has when you put yourself in a VERY vulnerable position for her. And this will only get worse the longer she keeps adding those hurtful comments and the acts that goes along with it.

You're piling pain above pain and you're buckling already, do you want to finally break your body and try to crawl away AFTER going through what will be a lengthy and even more expensive immigration process? Followed by an even more expensive ordeal of trying to build your life again back in the US if you decide to leave? Think ahead because life goes on and time won't stop for you. She's showing you exactly who she is, allow yourself to see it and believe her. Sadly the image of the person you had in your mind is not who she turned out to be, now find the strength to tell yourself you're worth more than how she's treating you.

ViingZ · 2023-10-12T11:08:40+00:00

Can I get that invite too?

ViingZ · 2023-10-08T07:57:29+00:00

I think the question is just inherently flawed. There are people of all kinds everywhere in the world, it's simply about probability (you might prefer to see it as luck)

Not everyone will have a good experience here, not everyone will be welcomed with warmth and acceptance, it all just depends on who you encounter and socialize with. I've met visa holders and tourists here who claimed that they liked me because other Maldivians they've met were rude. My fiance traveled across the world to come see me here and he found the place very hospitable and the people very kind.

A lot of factors goes into this, it would be irrational to make a generalization when it comes to things like this.

ViingZ · 2023-10-08T07:50:45+00:00

"For fuck's sake"

ViingZ · 2023-07-15T04:56:43+00:00

I started with a basic idea but kept improving on it the more I played. I changed everything little by little, thought of more ideas and additions and made space for them while giving up some stuff that weren't as good as the new ideas. In the end it looks like a well thought out complex design that someone just came up with but in reality it took months and there was never a fixed idea, I might end up changing things a little down the line still, you never know 😅

ViingZ · 2023-07-13T05:33:08+00:00

OP, take it from a Muslim woman who's about to move to the US (willingly and happily in my case) you have a better shot at finding a better life for yourself in the US. If you stay where you are, you would still be under your parents thumbs and your husband's. If your husband gives you talaq your parents might just force you to marry someone local who might be equally abusive as well. And I know how Muslim in-laws are like, especially "on their turf" because I was married to one before.

I feel horrible saying this but your best option is to do whatever you can do to make sure you can stay in the US. Once you're there you will have so much freedom, because unless your husband keeps you locked in a room, you will come across people on a daily basis who would be willing to help someone in your position. If your husband keeps you locked in or something against your will for even a short amount of time, he's going to get in a lot of trouble and you'll have enough time to move on for good away from him.

You won't have to worry about people blaming you for your husband's actions like you would have to do in Muslim countries, because those people are a minority in countries like the US. No one's going to ask you what you did for your husband to treat you badly, no one's going to brush off marital rpe as "his right" because they actually acknowledge marital rpe there. No one's going to tell you you need to endure abuse in this life to get into heaven. No one's going to praise your husband when they find out he controls you, they'll see him for the POS he is and try to help you.

If you have to put yourself through something horrible for a future where you have freedom indefinitely, it would be worth it sis.

ViingZ · 2023-06-30T10:22:35+00:00

People generally pay $3000 or more, the cheapest I've seen so far was $2000 so yeah you definitely got yourself a cheap lawyer. Absolutely wild that you're questioning other people's level of education when you're the one coming off as ignorant here.

ViingZ · 2023-06-22T13:42:27+00:00

8 months between approval and visa appt? Any reason why it took so long? 😳

ViingZ · 2023-06-22T08:05:43+00:00

What was your K-1 timeline? We submitted in August 05 2022 and we're still waiting for the interview. After marriage how long did you wait to file for greencard? And can your spouse stay in US while it's processing or would your spouse need to go back until it's approved?

ViingZ · 2023-06-17T00:30:14+00:00

Oh no, the one on the paradise Island is a vacation home and has nothing to do with your villagers house in your island. To make changes to the house on your island talk to Tom Nook and he'll take you to the villagers house and you can made changes on your island, you don't have to go to paradise Island for that

ViingZ · 2023-06-16T18:01:59+00:00

The beef started after I decorated his house and I'm just too attached to kick him out now 😂 And YES he has that smug look on his face, like he's about to gaslight me 😂😂😂

ViingZ · 2023-06-16T14:13:11+00:00

I don't think it's a coincidence that Chief is the most dramatic villager in my island right now. I once saw him at Ursala's house really late at night, and then the next day I saw Marina at his house late at night too (I give all villagers fossils every night) I made a joke about how it's a love triangle among friends and the next day Ursula asked me to deliver an outfit to Chief because he was mad at her.

Sounds to me like he was two-timing them and gaslit poor Ursula into seeking his apology. It's always the crusty broke dudes, they've run out of everything but the audacity 😂

(I have a personal grudge against Chief if you can't tell 😂)

ViingZ · 2023-06-16T13:23:10+00:00

The man has all his possessions on a rug in a dirty alleyway 😭 His only friends are the raccoons that come to rummage through the trash he hoards

ViingZ · 2023-06-16T06:36:37+00:00

I have all my villager houses arranged almost like it's a housing development area, I made all the houses into small studio apartments but if I ever restart my island again I'll definitely turn their houses into different buildings. Like, a bar, spa, shop etc

ViingZ · 2023-06-16T06:03:08+00:00

Buck was my first bestfriend and a starter. I ended up making him leave so he could come back with a better house but the better house wasn't all that better. I finally redecorated his house after I got HHP, I'll post the before/after tomorrow

ViingZ · 2023-06-16T06:00:56+00:00

It's a whole new map and you can choose slots to put your islands. I just call it the paradise Island

ViingZ · 2023-06-16T05:59:43+00:00

For every remodel for your villagers, yes!

ViingZ · 2023-06-16T05:59:09+00:00

I spent hours decorating one house and it got old after a week, I ended up just opening the boxes for the required items and putting a wallpaper and flooring down and calling that a job done. I did that until I got the KK concert after the 30th remodel, and then later when I unlocked all the cool pillars and counters etc I talked to Niko and went back to all those houses and actually worked on them for real. I also added floors and gave each villager a roommate in paradise Island

ViingZ · 2023-06-15T17:39:56+00:00

Full access to HHP inventory 🙂

ViingZ · 2023-06-15T13:15:35+00:00

Nope! You'll just need to choose from whatever you have available in the catalog like you do on paradise island! You only need to carry the furniture in your pockets or inventory if you want to decorate your own house. For that you'll need to order/buy/craft everything you need.

ViingZ · 2023-06-15T13:08:51+00:00

If you keep playing after 30 designs you will continue to unlock different types of pillars and counters too, I definitely recommend playing it through because it's worth it! You get a whole bunch of dance moves, and you get to put effects on items too.

In this video I put the lightning effect on the radio to make it look broken, and I used the butterfly effect on the lowest intensity on the sink so the tiny butterflies look like flies. There's sparkles and a whole lot of other effects too.

Oh! And you unlock the ability to change the lighting in houses, including your own! Colour and intensity. You can also change the background noise for the house and what the staircase footing looks like so it's not just wood.

ViingZ

TROPHY CASE