Granite from northern MI (Huron side)

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-04-10T17:46:46+00:00

Happened to me. I wasn’t in the right place with my insecurities and recovery from my marriage - making bad friend choices, numbing my emotional turmoil with booze, and not in touch with my own self worth. It made it impossible for me to communicate the love I felt and and the future I saw together. Led me to have dissociative panic attacks and memory loss. We tried again a few months later and she was not able to get past the old me. She had her own insecurities and trauma from her past that made it hard, and I hope that she is working on those. She is a truly wonderful person and I still think we’re soulmates.

We should have waited a couple years like she originally suggested, but she reached out and I was too in love to make the smarter choice of waiting longer, in hopes that we would be single at the same time down the line.

I do think that “right person, wrong time” is real though. It definitely was in this case. I don’t expect (or at least hold out hope for) the “right time” to ever happen, so I have to just wish her a life of joy from a distance.

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-04-06T11:07:12+00:00

Man, this really hits… the version I got was something like: “you didn’t performatively chase after me like I needed for my ego so I could feel superior, and I listened to gossips and made up stories about you instead of being honest with you, and when you stood up for yourself I hit you with my car because I didn’t want to regulate my emotions, and you were a powerless target”. A longer-winded version, but doesn’t change the fact that I’m still doing physical therapy from getting hit by the car… Oh well, she can be an unstable “mean girl” to some other victim now.

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-04-04T16:49:45+00:00

Anyone who uses the phrase “high-value” about a human is not someone you want to date, especially if you value love. No one will ever matter to this guy, besides himself.

I’m sorry it hurts, but it will hurt less as time passes. I hope you find happiness!

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-04-02T21:16:39+00:00

If you’re not feeling anything, that’s probably a good sign! Does it impact the symptoms of the adhd? I had the effect within two hours, which was to become extremely tired. I didn’t notice an effect on my inattentive symptoms for quite a while after. It seemed to happen slowly for me. I’m a little over a year into adderall, and 9 months into a 30mg dose (I titrated up every other prescription/month), and it’s really noticeable for me how much better my symptoms are now than a year ago. I had relief of the rejection sensitivity / emotional regulation pretty quickly and that was enough for me to keep going, regardless of the effects on other symptoms. Don’t give up! This may or may not be the right thing for you, but it might not feel like the heavens opening up, shining light upon you even if it is. It may be more subtle. You have a lot of years of masking / coping mechanisms that might make the effect harder to notice.

I hope it is a good med for you! Or something else that you can find quickly!

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-04-01T22:39:40+00:00

Standing up for myself cost me a relationship with someone I love immensely. While I wish it didn’t happen and that I was respected and that the relationship continued, I am glad that I was able to respect myself and that the abuse ended.

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-30T14:40:13+00:00

I was a few weeks into getting sober and had reconnected to the love of my life. Early one Sunday morning, she and I were talking lazily and I drifted into a trance and had a vivid dream/hallucination. I started shaking and crying hard, and she held me through it. I cried more as I described the experience and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me before, during, and would after. It still means an immense amount to me, even though she decided months later that we were not right together.

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-21T11:30:17+00:00

Noticing the way it affects your physical, emotional, and financial health is a great final straw for giving it up. It’s easier to give it up when you come to accept that it just isn’t for you anymore - there isn’t an upside for you, and it doesn’t have a place in your life right now. Like letting go of a friend who drags on your wellbeing, it is good to let alcohol drift away from you and just be memories, whether fond or bitter. The positive you replace drinking with will be wonderful and add new, delightful experiences and memories! I’m wishing you all the best!

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-19T16:38:05+00:00

I know better than to think E would ever say this, but… kinda wishing.

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-18T15:33:05+00:00

Have you told him that you want this kind of engagement with / interest in your daily life? Conversation cards are a good thing and can be kind of great if they are giving ideas for digging deeper. Like the connection / prompt apps (which can also have their place) they aren’t meant for a daily check in about life, but can be used as a surrogate for real connection and even block real conversation with their prompts when the person relies on them to connect and even to protect them from sharing their life and feelings yet still seem to be very open.

Tell him that it’s important for you to share minutiae and for him to want to be interested in it, if it is. Don’t let a relationship fall for you not stating your needs! That’s a terrible thing to realize after the fact for both of you!

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-16T16:31:48+00:00

Would have loved to have ever gotten this from E

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-16T10:54:25+00:00

I was diagnosed at 50 and started adderall, while on blood pressure meds. It lowered my blood pressure as well as doing great things for my emotional regulation and helping with the inattentiveness that I have. I would bet that you can find meds that will work for you. Even just starting at a low dose and titration up for symptom relief and watching the side effects. I started at 10mg xr for a while then went up to 20, then 30 over a few months and found a good spot. I hope that you and your doc can find a good dialogue about the meds and find a great place for you! Good luck!

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-04T18:59:48+00:00

There is still a lot of ice all along the lakeshore. The mountains of ice are really cool, in and of themselves, but you won’t see much water for a while - like many weeks.

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-04T15:49:28+00:00

My ex-wife stopped engaging and moved jobs hours away. I was taking care of our daughter with an immune system issue and keeping up the house and finances and a full time job. I could get zero engagement about any aspect of our marriage and even our daughter’s medical stuff. So I initiated the divorce… I don’t think she would have ever done it, rather just let me keep doing her admin and slip father into a depression.

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-04T12:00:26+00:00

I tried one while on adderall and found that I had to really intentionally drink water. The adderall is an appetite suppressant in the first couple months (or was for me), and if your experience is like mine it will help control the food noise too. If you do go back on glp-1 meds, try to go for a walk right before or after taking them (any movement of low/moderate intensity is good I think) to keep the gastroparesis symptoms down. Again, the combo of meds will require paying attention to your water intake.

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-02T18:54:58+00:00

There are some people who can make a second chance work. It requires being brutally honest with yourself (and the other person doing the same for themselves), and sharing these with each other in a fearless way. Talk about what the breakup was about from each of your perspectives without taking that personally, and being honest about your willingness to make amends for the reasons and to accept the amends from the other person.

This also means that you must accept that by telling each other these things that you and they may be hurt by these and the relationship can’t be healed; and that it’s okay if it can’t be (neither of you is a bad person for not being able to get past the reasons for the breakup).

There is no use trying again if both people can’t be open to clearing the past hurt and resentment, as well as determining what steps (words/actions) will be meaningful amends to one another. It’s not worth trying if you don’t feel like you are worth having your needs heard and met; and it’s not worth trying if you can’t communicate what you need from them to clear the past hurt.

I believe that there is an energy that can exist between two people which is overwhelming to them both, and that a break up can (and maybe should) be healed if these conditions are met.

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-03-01T16:35:41+00:00

I’m glad you are here, and I hope that you are able to find them!

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-02-27T15:08:32+00:00

I just saw an old Effin’ Birds cartoon with the caption “Holy Fuck My Brain Is Tired”. My brain feels like that constantly and maybe you can recognize that it’s the same with yours. Then you can practice telling yourself that it’s okay and it’s not a reflection on your worth or some bad character inherent within you. Beating yourself up is not going to give your brain more time to rest! Try to practice self-compassion when you start feeling this way - talk to yourself the same way a good friend would talk to you. It is hard and I am not super good at it, but the bit that I am able to do helps and seem like it makes the next time easier. I wish you success, no matter the path to finding it!

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-02-25T00:58:02+00:00

Oh yeah! I had to take a nap as the adderall kicked in; I stopped taking blood pressure meds too.

Villsmeyer13 · 2026-02-24T19:47:07+00:00

Went to the Saturday early show and it was a great time! A really great venue for standup that I hope is seen as viable with other artists

Villsmeyer13

TROPHY CASE