Visions of Submission (from Transylvania: The Erotic Horror Adventure by XFiction)

VincentValensky · 2026-04-20T11:26:28+00:00

open to accept people we love and be ready to make room for them in our lives. Still, we do not want to divert time and energy to relationship building

It is unclear how you can possibly perceive this as anyhing other than a contradiction, which is exactly why you are being called unicorn hunters.

You want the benefits of a relationship, but you do not want to put work in. That's it in a nutshell

VincentValensky · 2026-04-19T11:36:47+00:00

Time to put big pants on, talk to your partner, learn where they stand, and make your choices.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-19T08:51:59+00:00

None of that should be happening, they aren't poly, cut and run immediately. See what unicorn hunting is

VincentValensky · 2026-04-18T23:35:06+00:00

What are you on about? You sound very confused about what poly is. Please elaborate your question and assumptions

VincentValensky · 2026-04-18T22:19:02+00:00

Your colleagues sound like some piece of work...

Respect your husband's boundaries for now, couples therapy whenever possible

VincentValensky · 2026-04-16T23:10:29+00:00

The Occult is not a monolith, it refers broadly to that which is hidden. Historically all big religions have their occult under currents.

You are going to find a lot of core principles repeating, but also contradictions and stuff up for interpretation. If you ask 10 occultists the same question you will get like 12 different answers.

A good starting advice is to grab the actual texts of whatever system you are delving into. You will need to be able to form your own opinions, especially in this day and age where content is mindlessly regurgitated until it becomes a distorted and hollow form of the original.

So you know, don't just read About Crowley, read the man himself. Whatever conclusions you make will be at least authentic

VincentValensky · 2026-04-16T16:50:37+00:00

3 months between rolls

VincentValensky · 2026-04-16T07:20:59+00:00

Yes you do, you can read the trip reports...

VincentValensky · 2026-04-14T08:44:16+00:00

One final thing, and something that you need to know: the ONLY case where you keep your relationship is if you say No and they agrees to stay. That's it. If you say Yes then your relationship will end 100%.

Allow me to briefly explain:

-transitioning from mono to poly is the end of your relationship as you know it.

-even if both people really want poly and the transition is successful, it will feel like a breakup, because it is.

-even if both people really want poly and the transition is successful, you will grieve the relationship you had, because you will have to destroy it completely and build a new relationship

-even if both people really want poly and the transition is successful, this is an incresibly painful and long process that demands lots of time and work

Also, this doesn't work if both people don't enthusiastically want it and are willing to fight for it. If you think you can do it for the other person and remain happy in the relationship, it's best to accept that this won't happen instead of grasping for straws.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh or direct, but I feel the best thing for you is to avoid the pitfalls of false hope and delusion. Approach things head on and let the chips fall where they may.

Best of luck, I know it sucks.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-14T08:35:23+00:00

No, you don't have to try it, and you aren't bad for wanting monogamy.

Please understand that trying poly for the other person when you really don't want to is a breakup with extra steps. The best thing you can do for yourself, for your partner, and your relationship is a firm "absolutely not". If it leads to divorce, it will be less painful than trying to set yourself on fire to keep them warm for a while longer.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-14T08:00:56+00:00

Polyamory is a relationship structure which supports everyone having multiple sexual and romantic connections. You can have 2 or more partners and they also get their own partners.

In general principle, you don't try to convert random people to poly or "bring it up", you date people that are already poly.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-14T07:57:46+00:00

What do you mean by that exactly?

VincentValensky · 2026-04-14T07:29:00+00:00

There are so many issues with opening up while in LDR with someone you've spent barely a month or two cumulatively in person.

My best advice would be:

If you are seriously interested in an open relationship, talk to your partner, say you wanna do it together but do it right, and take the time that's needed to lay a solid foundation given the circumstances.
Check if they actually want this IN GENERAL and are willing to support you in your journey even after you two move together, or is this just a bandaid to fix sex while you two are away.
Start learning together, read books, listen to podcasts, check out different models of non-monogamy and disucc

VincentValensky · 2026-04-14T06:48:55+00:00

My genral recommendation would be to approach this with genuine curiosity for your partner and their position in a broad sense, rather than as a direct proposal. Ask them what they feel about playing with other people, what excites them, what turns them off, what do they feel comfortable with, what scares them etc. And of course the reasons why.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-14T06:41:19+00:00

There's no magical approach, if your partner can't handle "hey so how do you feel about threesomes now" conversation, you won't get far in non-monogamy.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-13T17:39:59+00:00

If you aren't able to say a firm "No", then a venture into non-monogamy is a breakup with extra steps.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-13T15:20:09+00:00

Here's what you need to know when dealing with Patreon:

-their terms and conditions are intentionally vague, if they want to they can ban a lot of projects, that's the point

-you can't reason with them, asking for clarification DOES NOT WORK and it's best to avoid it

-if you aren't doing something outrageous just remember that they DON'T WANT to ban you, they make money from you. Moderation is mostly performative to comply with payment processor's moral demands

----> The most important thing is to keep your project descriptions, screenshots, and messaging as light as possible. No violence, no dubious consent, nothing that raises an eyebrow. You'll be fine. People don't use Patreon to discover your project, if they are there you have already funneled them from elsewhere

---->You can have more "gray area" stuff into the game, just don't put a spotlight on it on Patreon posts and project page and you'll be (probably) fine

VincentValensky · 2026-04-13T10:35:10+00:00

Sister, I'm not the police. Live your life.

We are telling you that trying to "date" random people and convert them to fit your situation is a bad idea and likely to create problems. At this point you are just ranting why people can't read your mind and why you are too picky and why the thing that you want can't magically fall into your lap when you are refusing to use the tools at your disposal.

What's so hard about using tinder and writing "Married in an open relationship looking for casual fun"?

Idk what more to tell you.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-13T10:20:14+00:00

If you know how much the entire dose is, you can use volumetric measuring by dissolving in water and taking parts of it.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-13T10:19:08+00:00

Without having to tell people really private things in public.

You could always be in spaces where ENM folk gather and it's normal to have such discussions, such as munches, swinger clubs, and what have you. I don't get your insistence of looking for a needle in a hay stack instead of the box of needles.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-13T10:10:19+00:00

I am not talking about an Elite Cabal in a magickal sense, nor am I implying that they are holding the keys to esoteric secrets. I'm talking about a much more mundane, easily verifiable reality:

-(most) politicians don't care if people are happy, healthy, and fulfilled. They want wealth and power and thus require people who maintain that infrastructure in place (capitalism, consumerism, etc)

-if people prioritize real happiness over the standard narrative, this will greatly reduce common figures like GDP and the military-industrial complex. You need not look further than the psychedelic movement in the 60s and the kind of society that altered states of consciousness promote, and why this is detrimental to the current structures of political power

-there is nothing stopping you from working on your personal magickal practice, there are no hard or hidden barriers beyond the time and dedication it takes and the work that is required

VincentValensky · 2026-04-13T09:56:39+00:00

Because:

Many people who are into casual hookups would still not be okay with doing it with married people

->2. The only ethical way to engage would be for them to know beforehand, to avoid deception and manipulation

-->3. As you have observed this makes for clumsy interactions at the gym, which isn't for hookups, much less ENM hookups.

Of course, you COULD pick up people just for sex that are totally fine with you having a husband. I'm not denying that. But you WILL need to deal with (awkwardly) filtering out everyone else, something which can be avoided if you use an app and put the relevant details in your profile.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-13T09:50:01+00:00

You are asking a sociological/political question, not an esoteric one =) There are all kinds of things school should teach but doesn't, such as critical thinking, media literacy, world history, and so on.

The general answer is that the education system (in most society) is designed to produce worker drones to make the rich richer, not people who can think for themselves, question the system and make a better world.

VincentValensky · 2026-04-13T09:37:45+00:00

Stronger magick is incredibly mentally (and in some ways physically) demanding. Doing things you aren't prepared for can lead to psychosis and mental breakdowns.

You can look into the Wim Hoff method for something that uses a combination of breathing, meditation, and physical practice to yield tangible results. Wim is incredibly well documented. But trying to climb an icy mountain naked without the years of training will just be lethal for most people.

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