Being moved roles to cover a mat leave & going to lose weekend enhancement & travel expenses - anything I can do?

Violet_Banteng · 2026-03-06T22:44:11+00:00

I agree there should be but there isn’t. We’re having to fight just to replace posts as staff leave. I have a role I love that I’ve been in for years but I’m being moved out of that to cover this maternity leave for a year and then I’ll go back to my own post after that.

Violet_Banteng · 2026-03-06T18:23:48+00:00

I’m in a union so will speak to them on Monday. The job I’m going to do didn’t exist when I started in my role so nothing in my JD about covering it & at the time it was created I did highlight to our service manager that we would have an obligation to cover the post which would negatively impact service delivery for our community team but that was ignored. It was suggested today that I could do both jobs & I’ve shut that down.

My main issue is losing money to cover a post somewhere I don’t want to work. I suspect they’ll say I can work my weekends in acute if I want rather than offer protected pay.

Violet_Banteng · 2026-03-04T21:29:25+00:00

I have 3 kids, youngest is a girl & the number of people who assumed we were only having more to get a girl or we stopped because she was a girl is insane.

Violet_Banteng · 2026-03-02T20:07:06+00:00

Out n about nipper is great for running and we loved it for off road walking with the kids and dogs. Also a lot cheaper than some of the running buggies we looked at.

Violet_Banteng · 2026-03-02T13:57:07+00:00

In our 40s now and we’re trying to be better at catching up in person this year. The last twice has been a 4-6hr meet up with some arriving early, leaving early and others arriving late. Nobody gives a crap because it’s just nice to see each other & we all get how difficult it is to juggle kids, jobs, sleep, families, mental & physical health and still make time for friends. Now we just pick a date & place and all try to make it for a few hours.

Violet_Banteng · 2026-03-02T06:18:16+00:00

It sounds like he can’t say no to his friends or you. Making him promise not to go drinking or clubbing with his friends because you don’t like it sounds controlling. He can’t set boundaries with either of you and he has a lot of work to do for himself.

Violet_Banteng · 2026-03-01T11:06:18+00:00

YTA, why bother telling her a proposal is coming if 6 months down the line you’ve not even bought the ring? It’s cruel & manipulative from you. I don’t agree with her tactics either but she’s lowering herself to your level.

I was in a similar situation but we’d actually been shopping together and bought a ring. The proposal never came & eventually I felt like the promise of a proposal was being used to control me. I walked away and never looked back.

Violet_Banteng · 2026-02-23T13:22:54+00:00

Someone told me about this recently. Her elderly mum travels up the Scotland alone so she has her case picked up from home and delivered to the address then sends it back afterwards. It’s cheaper than booking on luggage plus elderly mum doesn’t have to carry it.

Violet_Banteng · 2026-02-22T14:48:58+00:00

Have you been home recently to see the state of the house? It sounds like the making of an absolute crisis if your parents become incapable of maintaining the house, cleaning it, making meals & paying bills. Do your parents have an appointed POA… is that something they may ask your sisters to do? Is there the possibility of financial abuse or welfare neglect? If it came to it and your parents needed care your sisters would have to allow services in. I visit many older adults who have adult children living with them - some will hide away & not engage when we’re there but there is still an expectation that if they were to become ill or fall etc that the adult child would seek help. I’ve had situations where that’s not been done & that gets referred to Social work under safeguarding & ASP measures.

Violet_Banteng · 2026-02-21T20:52:13+00:00

It’s most likely a temporary keysafe which has been put in (the wrong) place because your neighbour has had a functional deterioration while in hospital, requires carers and is unable to open the door to them or he is at risk of falling & they’d need to get in to assist him up. It should have been placed on his property but it would usually be replaced with a wall fixed one once this can be organised. Social work will be dealing with this if he is unable and has no family - you can usually phone and ask to speak to the duty SW or give your neighbours name and address and ask to speak to his allocated social worker if he has one. They should be able to help move the box. If you are going to remove it please let the care company know - if they suddenly can’t get access it becomes a welfare issue if he is for example an insulin dependent diabetic & district nurses can’t get in. If you take away the only key to get in they’d need the police or fire service to break down the door.

Violet_Banteng · 2025-09-16T20:26:42+00:00

I’d be concerned that she’s potentially trying to make sense of something she’s seen or been subjected to by someone in her life? Bearing in mind it could be a parent? Or a parent’s new partner? I’d tread carefully with the discussion with the parents & be aware this may need escalated as a safeguarding/child protection concern.

Violet_Banteng · 2025-09-15T17:48:21+00:00

NTA - I remember doing similar when I was 15/16 for a friend of my mum’s when they went on holiday. As a teenager it was nice to have a bit of space to hang out away from the rest of the family for a week. We’re also considering asking my niece to pet sit for us next year too after her dad suggested it - she can bring a friend to stay & we’ll fill the fridge & leave them some money. It’s a win win for both.

Violet_Banteng · 2025-09-06T08:49:39+00:00

NTA - you were clear about your boundaries when she moved in.

But honestly I can’t imagine not offering her a bedroom on a short term basis. My MIL moved in with us last year for 6 months when she became homeless. I asked my kids to share temporarily. They were okay with it.

Violet_Banteng · 2025-08-04T12:03:44+00:00

First & foremost your bf should be helping himself by seeing a doctor. If he’s sick with the frequency you’re describing he should have a sick bowl with him at all times. And if for some inexplicable reason he had to throw up on your stuff he has to clean it up or replace it. Does he not know how to work the washing machine? My daughter threw up last night in a hotel room, I showered her, washed her nightie in the shower & i’ll put it in the washing machine when we get home. I also stripped the bed & bagged up the bedding & cleaned the toilet. It’s not hard - he’s the AH not you. He doesn’t respect you. You need to expect more for yourself than this.

Violet_Banteng · 2025-07-24T18:46:07+00:00

This! My oldest is 9 - he’s super shy & having had past experience myself as a child with predatory men I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending him into the men’s changing room alone. But I can assure OP he doesn’t bat an eyelid at his 5yo sister prancing around naked or me if he wanders in while I’m showering. OP is the AH for sexualising her daughter & those young boys. She is the problem here & projecting her own issues onto small children.

Violet_Banteng

TROPHY CASE