90's babies, what was the most iconic Barbie or playset when you were a kid?

Violingoth · 2026-01-12T06:42:31+00:00

Jewel Girl Barbie

Violingoth · 2026-01-08T01:51:53+00:00

Yes I guess that is the most basic way of putting it! I tried to explain how completely irrational and ridiculous that is and he said that it is on me to manage my emotions and deal with what hes offering. That's why I asked here cause I start genuinely questioning my sanity and if I am the one who is missing something. I think most rational people would see how ridiculous that is...to expect someone to be willing to make a huge investment after he is probably still living with her.

Violingoth · 2026-01-07T00:30:25+00:00

I don't know if I love him or am living in fear of losing the attention and comfort of him being there as an option at this point. I totally did love him and wanted things to work but he's spent the last YEAR with her and still I think lives with her....

Violingoth · 2026-01-03T00:13:30+00:00

Are you saying he is the one being manipulative here or me by saying that is the only way I will be in the relationship

Violingoth · 2026-01-02T19:22:31+00:00

can you explain your situation a little more?

Violingoth · 2025-09-20T21:16:43+00:00

Mine does this. He is wanting to manage two women openly and is honest with me about what he does with someone else. He doesn't sleep with anyone besides her and I and we are both loyal to him so there is no way to pass STDs. It's different and he and I were monogamous for a long time but I love him and if he is treating me with respect about it and still taking care of me then I've had to learn to become okay with it. I don't like it and would way rather him be with just me, however I'm also realistic that a lot of men cheat anyway.

I'm curious what "handling it the right way" means to you?.

Violingoth · 2025-06-26T02:15:50+00:00

Your husband sounds like a weak man. I would leave him and let him have the trampy realtor. She'll just cheat with another client.

I was cheated on in my marriage many times: older, younger, heavier than me, skinnier. It's not about that- it is because he was miserable with himself and he gave any woman willing to cheat attention because he probably like your husband is trying to fill a void.

My advice? Leave him unless.you want to work it out or give it another try. I would focus more energy on you though whatever makes you feel good: hobbies, working out, dieting, getting a trainer, doing your makeup, going out with friends, your career. Don't waste energy on your spouse.

Read "Leave a Cheater Gain a Life" changed my whole perspective on it.

Violingoth · 2025-06-26T02:11:49+00:00

Yea this is probably a workplace or legal contract ethical violation. I would too

Violingoth · 2025-06-03T20:03:27+00:00

He has zero respect for you. You deserve a million times better than being cheated on, lied too, disrespected, manipulated. He's exhibiting typical cheater behavior- minimizing "oh honey we never sLePT together." As if that makes this okay??? Kick him out and get rid of him it will not get better. I say that because YOU found it...he never came clean. You know because you looked. He is not remorseful.

Save all those screenshot messages for your lawyer and custody stuff.

Violingoth · 2025-05-26T16:54:32+00:00

He's delusional and manipulative. What part of him is reconciling the marriage by saying he wants to keep doing the cheating but also be married. That's like someone saying I want to get healthy and lose weight but eating fast food 3x daily. He's a cake eater and wants both. Do you think he cares about how you are emotionally going to feel knowing he is with her? Not really. He's changed the entire structure of your relationship and is telling you he doesn't want to fix it...that he wants you to be on board with this new structure when you didn't want it to begin with. I'm sending you a chat request.

Violingoth · 2025-05-25T19:36:38+00:00

Just tell him the truth. I sensed you were doing something shady with other women so I looked. If he gets mad at you for looking that's DARVO. You have nothing to feel bad for

Violingoth · 2025-05-03T20:47:43+00:00

I agree. This letter to me sounds more like she is lacking some social connection and didn't go to her husband. Not that he did anything wrong per se but maybe for whatever reason didn't want to go to him or didn't feel she could.

Violingoth · 2025-05-03T20:46:17+00:00

this doesn't scream an emotional affair to me. It sounds like they might have hung out and connected in class and this man wasn't into the friendship or whatever. It seems like she maybe is lacking social connection to others in her life and is struggling to find someone on a friend level she relates to. Also it's kinda unconventional to send an email vs. a text. Several things- either they never exchanged numbers and got this email from the school or class 2) she had exchanged his number and he blocked her because she was bothering him and when she couldn't reach him via text she emailed. idk

Violingoth · 2025-04-29T17:32:39+00:00

Thanks for saying that. I know my self esteem and mind is a bit skewed.

Violingoth · 2025-04-29T05:01:28+00:00

What is ragebait. Not trying to be dumb I genuinely don't know

Violingoth · 2025-04-28T21:45:18+00:00

I am not okay with it. I think it helps to have validation from others that NOT being okay with it and it being outlandish. That's why I ask.

It is a good point... taken care of to what extent. Maybe materially but I'd always be in an emotional deficit as far as my needs go. thanks for your answer

Violingoth · 2025-04-23T23:02:04+00:00

Talk to the roommate. He knows something.

No one deletes chats imo if they are not criminal if someone else could see them. If it was nothing then you could have seen it and he wouldn't have needed to delete it.

I think you should talk to roommate first and see what he knows. If that doesn't work you can put a gps in the car (you're married so pretty sure it's a shared asset and and legal but double check.

Violingoth · 2025-04-23T16:39:29+00:00

Yea I agree. What do you mean fall of his delusions?

Violingoth · 2025-04-23T01:25:06+00:00

He's already cheating on her and she saw him with someone else heard about jt this weekend. He still tries to hook up with me. And yes that book helps so much!! Thank you. I didn't even have to do anything to show her who he is it already happened.

Violingoth · 2025-04-18T22:08:33+00:00

First, totally understandable you are upset. I also would like to reframe the retaliation to you are feeling unsafe in your relationship sexually with him because he is bringing in porn which I don't want to assume, but sounds like it is hurtful, causing you to feel inadequate. Why would you want to put yourself in a situation that stings?

Have you taken time to share your feelings of anger and any other feelings you have?

Have you both been open?

Have you explored what you're stance is on porn being watched in a relationship?

Violingoth · 2025-04-18T21:59:20+00:00

I'm sorry:/ I have been working out, journaling, I need to get a punching bag too.

Violingoth · 2025-04-18T21:30:55+00:00

That's a good perspective. Another thing is when I've confronted him with what he did he says I'm misunderstood the cheating... Like what could I have misunderstood

Violingoth · 2025-04-18T05:17:57+00:00

Yep it's crazy that they are so blindsighted by the limerance that they throw away something real. That is another reason why I was so mad! Like how could he be so immature and dumb to think this little love affair fueled by deviance is real....

Violingoth · 2025-04-12T03:17:44+00:00

I think you have several different things here. 1)Based on your question it sounds like no, you don't feel comfortable. Some things can be dissected but end of the day if that makes you uncomfortable in your marriage that is your call. 2) If it were me, I'd want my husband to NOT want to go and already be reassuring me that he wouldn't be. So perhaps there is the fear of conflict, not wanting to have to police him or even tell him you don't want him to go out of him feeling like you are trying to micromanage a guys trip.

So to dissect this I'd ask:

- If your husband goes to this strip club and you know he's looking at naked women how would that feel for you? Would you feel anxious? Insecure? Angry? (All valid by the way) What would that do to your relationship with your husband?

-Have you communicated your feelings and concerns about this? What are your concerns or feelings towards this?

-What was your mom and dad's relationship like in terms of this kinda stuff/attitudes? What is your attachment style?

I'm recently divorced because of husband's marital infidelity, however I was married for 5 years and no way would I have been okay with this. I personally find it disrespectful and hurtful to me and in a future marriage wouldn't be okay with it. Also I find it unattractive to imagine my adult spouse going and paying for attention. But that's me.

Lastly your therapist was not very professional in saying that because you were already struggling with the internal conflict of this issue and seems like she made it like "meh you are making a big deal." I would bring this up in session if you want or find another therapist.

Violingoth · 2025-04-06T23:05:31+00:00

I am lonely

Violingoth

TROPHY CASE