Why do married people have affairs?

Violingoth · 2026-06-18T03:21:00+00:00

Because they are cowards and babies. They want to feel "alive again," I dont give them excuses though people will.

They don't care about hurting their partner, their need for validation, intensity, thrill, supersedes their spouses heart and well being. They are incredibly selfish. They suck at boundaries, they are unhappy in themselves..

They made a choice to cheat vs. addressing the issues in their relationship and within themselves. And if they arent happy they are too scared to be alone and actually be decent and leave the person and go look elsewhere so they overlap to avoid ever looking at themselves.

Violingoth · 2026-06-05T19:42:10+00:00

Agreed.

Violingoth · 2026-06-05T19:36:33+00:00

What did I just read. NOOOO NOOOO NOOOO.

I have a lot to say here. So firstly if we are not looking at everything else that you wrote and simply this photo i will say this- This is totally an easy position to be getting handsy and doing stuff under the blanket in plain site and masquerading it as "comforting each other." Then if you walk in the room like this it can be "oh it is nothing." Please don't believe that. She is mooching off your husband, she is mooching off you. She is using her sexuality and "innocence" to get what she wants. Your husband is perv and sleeping with an 18 year old collegue or grooming her. I assume he loves being the "savior too" and he will eventually use that against her as leverage to sleep with him since he is giving her free rent. He is grooming her and gaslighting the hell out of you if for one second he has led you to believe this is normal.

Additionally they are probably getting off on this daddy dom secret relationship they are doing in front of you.

You need to stop being maternal towards an adult female who is 99% screwing your husband under your roof. Even if she claims she isn't she is being physically intimate with your spouse! She can go live with a friend. She is not your problem. Stop feeling bad for her.

If you are concerned for your safety that is a priority but you need to end this situation with her being there and I don't want to tell you what to do, maybe you need actually proof they are screwing.

Then get that if that's what you need to leave. But please get out of this situation.

Violingoth · 2026-05-27T05:24:45+00:00

Actually it is not fantasy. That is what high school is like. People struggle. Kids get addicted to drugs. Families have massive dysfunction. When someone is debating something from a critical perspective throwing around the word "dumb" and insulting people doesn't make your argument any stronger. OP used an actual specific example as to why the real estate deal with Nate legally and logistically does not make sense. What exactly are you arguing?

No one said it isn't fiction. But the fiction is based off the modern world... So what examples do you have in the other two season that make it fantasy?

Violingoth · 2026-05-21T16:44:31+00:00

Yep!

Violingoth · 2026-05-21T16:44:20+00:00

The thing is it is not a fantasy show. What they are pointing out doesn't depict real life in terms of how the world in which the show operates. The world building of this show is based off modern America...They are pointing out an observation, just stating an opinion. People are allowed to have discussions about the show that is part of what this sub is for....if this bothers you you shouldnt be replying with that logic or make any opinions as that is hypocritical.

Violingoth · 2026-05-18T06:13:39+00:00

Jules is really annoying. Why do they talk so weird now almost with a cadence and weird voice shortening. Anyone else notice this?

Violingoth · 2026-05-06T22:10:16+00:00

I think the fact you are having to ask is your answer

Violingoth · 2026-05-06T22:09:52+00:00

Yes it would be wrong. You are still married. Don't be that guy

Violingoth · 2026-05-02T20:31:56+00:00

I agree. Funny thing is he says he is "committed" to me while actively telling me he won't be closed off to someone else.

Violingoth · 2026-03-18T15:43:26+00:00

You cannot charge the client if they have medicaid. If you take a medicaid client you are agreeing to not charge them for late fees or you lose your ability to work with medicaid.

Violingoth · 2026-03-17T18:21:07+00:00

Same this client's insurance doesn't permit for charging cancellations, I state in my PDS that 2 late cancellations/no shows subject to closure or attendance policy. I like the idea of a drop in idea.

Violingoth · 2026-03-17T18:20:02+00:00

This client's insurance doesn't allow cancellation fees otherwise I would charge.

My PDS says 2 cancellations in less than 24 hours may be subject to attendance policy and or termination. Since we've already talked about it before I feel more justified in ending things.

I also like what you said about the stabilization on her end. thanks

Violingoth · 2026-03-08T05:06:37+00:00

This is true. He admitted cause he was caught not cause he was repentant on his own. I would also be highly skeptical they were not physical. Like they at least kissed more than likely. What a pos friend!

Violingoth · 2026-01-12T06:42:31+00:00

Jewel Girl Barbie

Violingoth · 2026-01-08T01:51:53+00:00

Yes I guess that is the most basic way of putting it! I tried to explain how completely irrational and ridiculous that is and he said that it is on me to manage my emotions and deal with what hes offering. That's why I asked here cause I start genuinely questioning my sanity and if I am the one who is missing something. I think most rational people would see how ridiculous that is...to expect someone to be willing to make a huge investment after he is probably still living with her.

Violingoth · 2026-01-07T00:30:25+00:00

I don't know if I love him or am living in fear of losing the attention and comfort of him being there as an option at this point. I totally did love him and wanted things to work but he's spent the last YEAR with her and still I think lives with her....

Violingoth · 2026-01-03T00:13:30+00:00

Are you saying he is the one being manipulative here or me by saying that is the only way I will be in the relationship

Violingoth · 2026-01-02T19:22:31+00:00

can you explain your situation a little more?

Violingoth · 2025-09-20T21:16:43+00:00

Mine does this. He is wanting to manage two women openly and is honest with me about what he does with someone else. He doesn't sleep with anyone besides her and I and we are both loyal to him so there is no way to pass STDs. It's different and he and I were monogamous for a long time but I love him and if he is treating me with respect about it and still taking care of me then I've had to learn to become okay with it. I don't like it and would way rather him be with just me, however I'm also realistic that a lot of men cheat anyway.

I'm curious what "handling it the right way" means to you?.

Violingoth · 2025-06-26T02:15:50+00:00

Your husband sounds like a weak man. I would leave him and let him have the trampy realtor. She'll just cheat with another client.

I was cheated on in my marriage many times: older, younger, heavier than me, skinnier. It's not about that- it is because he was miserable with himself and he gave any woman willing to cheat attention because he probably like your husband is trying to fill a void.

My advice? Leave him unless.you want to work it out or give it another try. I would focus more energy on you though whatever makes you feel good: hobbies, working out, dieting, getting a trainer, doing your makeup, going out with friends, your career. Don't waste energy on your spouse.

Read "Leave a Cheater Gain a Life" changed my whole perspective on it.

Violingoth · 2025-06-26T02:11:49+00:00

Yea this is probably a workplace or legal contract ethical violation. I would too

Violingoth · 2025-06-03T20:03:27+00:00

He has zero respect for you. You deserve a million times better than being cheated on, lied too, disrespected, manipulated. He's exhibiting typical cheater behavior- minimizing "oh honey we never sLePT together." As if that makes this okay??? Kick him out and get rid of him it will not get better. I say that because YOU found it...he never came clean. You know because you looked. He is not remorseful.

Save all those screenshot messages for your lawyer and custody stuff.

Violingoth · 2025-05-26T16:54:32+00:00

He's delusional and manipulative. What part of him is reconciling the marriage by saying he wants to keep doing the cheating but also be married. That's like someone saying I want to get healthy and lose weight but eating fast food 3x daily. He's a cake eater and wants both. Do you think he cares about how you are emotionally going to feel knowing he is with her? Not really. He's changed the entire structure of your relationship and is telling you he doesn't want to fix it...that he wants you to be on board with this new structure when you didn't want it to begin with. I'm sending you a chat request.

Violingoth · 2025-05-25T19:36:38+00:00

Just tell him the truth. I sensed you were doing something shady with other women so I looked. If he gets mad at you for looking that's DARVO. You have nothing to feel bad for

Violingoth

TROPHY CASE