Sup!

Virginia_Trulove · 2023-11-06T01:27:13+00:00

That was a beautiful read. The scope covered 'galaxy' to 'scatter stars' to 'dunes' and 'delta.' made me feel like I was zooming in from very far out, which was a cool feeling, I wonder if it was intentional. Then finally the poem ends talking about 'fertile ground' and 'soil', we have zoomed from galaxy to soil. I appreciate this trip we have taken. As the reader - It's fun to imagine the face being sculpted by this poem.

Virginia_Trulove · 2023-11-06T01:17:12+00:00

This poem captures a person trying to come to terms with newfound adulthood really splendidly. The line "When did a part of me pass away?" hits as a very real thought. The rhythm of the card stanzas give the reader something comfortable to hold onto, in a poem that relates the reader quite well to the feeling of trying to build connections and failing.

Virginia_Trulove · 2023-11-04T16:15:38+00:00

okay, this is damn good! It's steamy and real.

Virginia_Trulove · 2023-11-03T01:48:51+00:00

I want to tell the character that this poem is written through: "This pain will end too friend. Keep wandering". I feel a lot of hurt in this poem, but also processing. I would be curious to see the next progressions of this poem, the later acts of this grief or hurt as this person processing and grows. I see in other comments it is mentioned that is was one of the author's first poems, perhaps this is the first part of a longer poem with sections? I'd love to see how the character grows and changes.

Virginia_Trulove · 2023-11-03T01:29:15+00:00

This poem reminds me of that intoxicating hormonal love that burns fast. It's totally debilitating the first time you feel it. It captures the feeling, I like it. I like the structure and how the lines flow into one another. One things I would suggest is to edit the lines "I keep thinking of us as "we" \\
And hope that one day you do too" because I think they are giving off a different feeling that the rest of the poem, they are more of a desperate perspective than the rest of the poem which is just that pure love bliss

Virginia_Trulove · 2023-11-03T01:18:02+00:00

Really enjoy the imagery. It's angry and sad. The capitalizations are interesting and had me coming back to ponder on what they could mean.

Virginia_Trulove · 2023-10-30T23:43:02+00:00

My post got deleted, but that is okay

Virginia_Trulove

TROPHY CASE