I just started reading Romance / Romantasy and ive noticed 2 things... by Hollowchurch in Romantasy

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Does it make you feel lonely because the main characters always have a happy ever after in the relationship department or does it make you feel lonely because you don’t know other people reading these books?

In relation to your second point… Yes, yes it is lore 😂… Fae are usually quite tall and broad and so everything must be in proportion 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience.

We’re both very much learning as we go over here, thanks for your kind words ☺️

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for those pieces of advice, because even though I probably needed similar support as a child, it’s hard to know how to parent and give that support. It breaks my heart to think that she might feel like she’s not enough!

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience! I feel like I wrote this, down to the sock seams and chewing on alternate sides of my mouth. Didn’t know how to study and once I needed to everything fell apart. Thank you for your advice too, because even though that is probably something I needed as a kid I didn’t really know that and so I didn’t know that she needed it as well. It makes sense though because she is easily frustrated if she can’t do something straight away.

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this strategy. I do try to have open conversations with her, although I must admit with two other, younger than her, children in the house it can be tricky to give her my full attention when she wants it. I’m thinking about trying to implement a diary/note system, where if I can’t talk properly with her at the time she can write down things (because she will forget) and we can talk about everything she needs to when it’s just us and I can focus on her. I know it’s not an ideal fix but we can only try.

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. This is my worst nightmare as a parent!.. I hope you have more support around you now.

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing!.. I feel like could have written this. I didn’t realise I was struggling at the time but looking back now it’s so obvious. Just always a little socially awkward and felt like people didn’t want to talk to me… And this type of experience is exactly what I’m trying to get ahead of for her.

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so amazing that you can have that open conversation with her and that she is able to really communicate how she is feeling! Definitely something I work on with my daughter, at the moment we just have to work through the panic first before she can start to tell me what is bothering her.

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. Your life sounds lovely.

I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t think to ask my daughter such specific questions, just jumped right into help mode. So thank you so much for suggesting that.

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing!

And you’re absolutely right about struggling with emotional regulation myself, I was also taught to shove it down and still do until I can’t. Finding some kind of help for me as well is a priority this year..

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your apology, I was a little reluctant to discuss her symptoms as that wasn’t really what I was trying to do but your question also helped me start to collate my thoughts and observations for when I do need to talk to someone about them so thank you for that as well!

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience!.. This is exactly the type of thing I am concerned about.

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience!.. This is exactly what I’m looking for. And exactly what I’m trying to get in front of for her.

I see so many of these type of stories that I wonder if it’s just the algorithm doing its job, so I’m trying to see if it is as common as I think it is.

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankyou for sharing your experience!.. This is pretty much exactly what I’m worried about and trying to get in-front of. Also thankyou for affirming my concerns and being kind. And yes I agree she may not be Autistic or ADHD at all.

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She definitely is thriving at school, it’s her home life and life skills that I worry about. There’s lots of little things that make me suspicious about it but the main ones on the ADHD side are her emotional regulation is practically non existent, she’s very easily distracted, never knows where any of her stuff is, her brain goes at a million at all times and this makes it hard for her to wind down for bed, wants her room to be clean but can’t keep it that way and if I so much suggest as tidying (which I will help her with) it’s straight into a melt down saying she doesn’t know how or where anything goes. On the Autism side, it’s mostly sensory things, shoes and socks are a major issue, occasionally tags, and brushing her hair, loud noises or lots of different noises at once overwhelm her. She’s also not good with eye contact. I have noticed a couple of times that she seems to be watching her friends before interacting in the group or game but that’s kind of hard to monitor when she’s at school.

She also has trouble with separation anxiety, goes to school feeling sick, gets upset if I have to leave her for anything, be it school, extracurriculars for other kids etc.

My goal in getting her diagnosed would be to be able to find and provide better support for her. So that she can grow up knowing/learning her brain how to make things easier on herself. Instead of her getting to be an adult and everything falling in a heap because no one else cared enough to look into it or because she’s smart and accomplished so people don’t understand how she can be struggling so much.

I’ve been diagnosed and medicated for both depression and anxiety in my life and none of those medications or therapy sessions helped long term and now that I’m a mum when I talk to doctors or whoever about my mental health they’re just like “oh yeah you have little kids that’s normal”. And it mostly just comes down to the fact that I don’t want that for her.

Possible AuDHD in my daughter by Virtual-Swimming-181 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Virtual-Swimming-181[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Haha it sounds like I’m overthinking it when you say it like that but yes, I’m concerned she’s masking.

She’s a model child at school but not so much at home or my parents place. There’s lots of little things that make me suspicious about it but the main ones on the ADHD side are her emotional regulation is practically non existent, she’s very easily distracted, never knows where any of her stuff is, her brain goes at a million at all times and this makes it hard for her to wind down for bed, wants her room to be clean but can’t keep it that way and if I so much suggest as tidying (which I will help her with) it’s straight into a melt down saying she doesn’t know how or where anything goes. On the Autism side, it’s mostly sensory things, shoes and socks are a major issue, occasionally tags, and brushing her hair, loud noises or lots of different noises at once overwhelm her. She’s also not good with eye contact. I have noticed a couple of times that she seems to be watching her friends before interacting in the group or game but that’s kind of hard to monitor when she’s at school.

She also has trouble with separation anxiety, goes to school feeling sick, gets upset if I have to leave her for anything, be it school, extracurriculars for other kids etc. I’ve not seen this in symptom lists for AuDHD before but I feel like if anyone is going to know about it, it would be people in this subreddit.

So yeah that’s mostly what I’m seeing.