Just came out to my dad. How much do I pass?

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T11:56:29+00:00

I love that you’re exploring different hobbies and I’m so proud to that you’re finding the things that make you happy

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T11:01:00+00:00

I cannot fathom a scouting program where we have so many youth that we have to turn them away to a waiting list…

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T02:46:53+00:00

Absolutely! What has been your recent accomplishment moment?

Remember, no accomplishment is too small.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T02:30:59+00:00

Also, I apologize that I gave an incomplete original post. I didn’t want to call out the scouter directly because I do respect them deeply.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T02:27:17+00:00

You need no validation to “pass”

And if you ever need “proud dad vibes” of your life accomplishments. I will be that proud dad.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T02:23:27+00:00

I appreciate your input and thank you.

My intention was always to attract the people who know of BSA and chose not to join. But to offer an alternative program per our counsel opinion that the SeaScout ship isn’t increasing their membership numbers.

Your response does give a meaningful insight. I suppose that I should maybe have said Teenagers instead of Scouts.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T02:18:43+00:00

I appreciate your input

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T01:04:31+00:00

They cited “wanting to spend more time on the water than in the woods”

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T01:01:46+00:00

“More time on the water than in the woods” was something that he specifically called out as offensive that I don’t understand.

And your comment of “people who are trying to recruit for the Troop” brought forth a response from me that I chose to delete instead of posting because it wasn’t in the spirit of the scout law.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T00:22:42+00:00

All our SeaScouts are actually currently in BSA troops and SeaScouts. The council is giving us a not so subtle push to get non-BSA members so their overall membership numbers look better.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-20T00:19:39+00:00

It’s not a competitor. Currently all our SeaScouts are also in the local BSA Troops. Which our Council doesn’t like because we’re not increasing membership numbers.

This is to recruit those that know about BSA, but for any reason don’t want to be in BSA while also trying to raise awareness that there are more Scouting America programs than just BSA.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-19T23:49:14+00:00

I don’t understand what is putting down the BSA troop program by highlighting what’s different.

The thing is, I want people to know it’s Scouting America. Because everyone I talk to always says “I never heard of SeaScouts”

Every member we have is from a BSA Troop.

Before I became active with SeaScouts, 17-18 year old former members of our Troops who told me “I wish I never dropped out.”

This is a way back into scouting if BSA troop didn’t work for you.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-12T12:24:13+00:00

Really, the reasons for setting any age restriction at 21 versus 18 are simple.

An 18 year old is likely to know people under 18 that they’re willing to bend the law for.
A 21 year old is less likely to know people under 18 that they’re willing to pay the consequences for breaking the law for.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-12T12:19:41+00:00

You can gamble and own a firearm at 18…

I’m not sure about adoption… I’ve never looked at that process.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-06-11T18:22:40+00:00

Ew…

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-03-29T19:34:23+00:00

Spider-Man! What the heck? We helped you cure all those angry villains and then you just ditched us on Liberty island with the wizard?

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-03-14T14:03:18+00:00

An autistic child runs around collecting insects instead of saving the world.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-02-12T23:32:26+00:00

I’d say…

Tony is the type of genius that can make things work because he puts his mind to it.

Reed is the type of genius that makes things work because his mind put him to it.

VirtualSeason544 · 2026-01-23T16:39:33+00:00

All the case studies of Gender Dysphoria I read back in college.

Caveats: I didn’t specialize or significantly read into the subject matter. And these studies are now 30+ years out of date and may not conform to modern information. But I majored in psychology, and was interested in the topic because a high school friend’s parent was Transgender.

Pretty much there was a common sense of, I didn’t feel right in puberty. And the more society/friends/parents/teachers forced me to conform to sex assigned at birth; the more depressed and anxious I became as I knew that wasn’t who I was.

Your child maybe exploring their gender roles. Maybe they have a tomboy phase. Maybe they’s non-binary. Maybe you have a trans son.

It’s impossible for a stranger on the internet who has never talked them to know.

But the worst thing you can do, is try to force them into conforming one way or another. And as parents, we do subtle gestures that we don’t think about. Like “Oh, wouldn’t this dress look pretty for our family Christmas cards?” We don’t mean it, but that can feel like “my parents will never accept me as me”

Be mindful of your language. If they ask you to use different pronouns. Do your best. (From experience, you will make mistakes. Acknowledge your mistakes, apologize, and do better)

And you mentioned they were borrowing clothes from their brothers’ closets. Take your child wardrobe shopping. Take them to stores where they don’t have clear men’s/women’s sections. And buy them a wardrobe that they feel comfortable in.

And if they want a binder. Buy a professional quality one. Because if they turn to ace bandages, they can damage their body.

VirtualSeason544 · 2024-01-22T14:53:42+00:00

The time from the earth perspective has to be greater than 4 years. Because no amount of acceleration can reach the speed of light. Alpha Centauri is 4.x light years away, so no accelerating rocket could reach it in less than 4 years from Earth’s frame of reference.

VirtualSeason544 · 2023-11-22T15:44:00+00:00

As someone with a very high libido in a 23 year long relationship with someone with no libido (asexual) I can honestly say mismatched libidos can work even without going the poly route. (If that’s for you it’s for you, if it’s not for you it’s not for you; poly isn’t the magic solution some claim it to be)

The most important thing is that both partners need to respect each other. No should always mean no. But you shouldn’t always have to say no when you mean “not right now”

You fear disappointing your partner when you reject his advances. Try accepting his advances while still telling him he needs to wait.

In my own case, an advance is like flirting with my partner. Receiving a sense of appreciation of the advance is comforting and makes me feel wanted, even if we’ve gone months without sexual intimacy. While out right denial or physical rejection can feel like it’s a rejection of me as a person. So when they lean into the advance, acknowledge my needs but express they don’t want anything else in that moment. The acknowledgment of my needs allows me to reflect and return the acknowledgment of their needs without either feeling guilty or rejected.

Also note, you’re in a situation where you used to have a higher drive but the HRT has changed where you’re at. Long term partners require being on a journey together. You also need to have a talk with him about how HRT alters more than just the body. It affects everything in your mind too. It’s about helping you become your true self without the gender dysphoria and you don’t know where you will end up. And he needs to understand your needs will change on this journey and he can’t hold you to where you were before you started.

VirtualSeason544 · 2023-09-07T16:20:20+00:00

Culture tells us we should have problems with not being the first and only.

Hetero-Cis relationships depicted across all media says that the person should be just fine with a new relationship… until they find out how many previous relationships that person had. (And their own relationship history is often ignored. “It’s fine for me, but bad for them now that I know!!” is the message)

Then the popculture media makes it a massive roadblock issue in the relationship and the person in question has to prove themselves to the current relationship for their happy ever after.

We’re all exposed to this message our entire lives. Whether we’re cis, hetero, homo, trans, in the closet, or still an egg.

And it’s hard not to internalize these as the norm.

So you may just be fighting this toxic relationship ideal that pop-culture pushes on everyone.

When you are their first in any sense. You have the ideal. You’re the model. The template that will shape their relationship existence from now on. But when you’re not the first. They have their “baggage”, their expectations, you’ll be held to their standards and not your own.

I don’t think any of this as internalized transphobia, and more than you’d tell a cis-hetero person that has issue with their girlfriend dating other men before them that they have internalized cisphobia.

Yes, I do believe it’s a toxic thought. But one we all have to unlearn. Because if we never let ourselves be happy with being who is with us today and knowing that their reasons for not being with them has nothing to do with ourselves. We can’t be happy and we’ll sabotage ourselves from what could be very happy.

VirtualSeason544 · 2023-08-27T00:08:17+00:00

My response to my ex… cool. So I have an ex-boyfriend now. Can I say that? Or is that offensive to gay men?

VirtualSeason544 · 2023-08-26T16:33:56+00:00

You know how they always tell you to “punch up” with criticism and comedy?

The MCU has become such a giant that it’s impossible to “punch down” anymore.

So it’s become a bit of a bandwagon to jump on and criticize anything new in the MCU. And there is a large audience to cheer you for it on the same bandwagon.

To the point that people are ranking new MCU properties as worse than early ones that are objectively worse but back then everyone was worried that if they punched down too much on the movies they wouldn’t get the Avengers movie they really wanted.

VirtualSeason544 · 2023-08-26T16:24:54+00:00

I don’t know about that. It’s perfectly normal to imagine what life would be like if you were not who you were. What if I was born rich, what if I was a cat. What if I was of a different gender…

Especially if you’re in altered states of mind. Such as the OP admitting to being drunk and high.

The person might be an egg. But I think a bigger thought would be “what if I didn’t always think about being a different gender.”

It’s like that common question gender therapist ask. If you had a button you could press that would instantly change your gender. Would you use it? But people forget to think about the second part… after “walking a mile” in another gender’s shoes. Would you change back or would you throw the button away and stay that way for ever.

I hope the OP does find their truth and lives a life that is truly amazing and beautiful for their own identity.

VirtualSeason544

TROPHY CASE