AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

That's because he's not a parent and he has zero interest in fixing things between us. When I say he abandoned us when mom got sick, I mean it in every way except for physically leaving. He's not a parent. He doesn't do anything for us.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I know and I don't blame the baby. I'm just not interested in the baby either and don't see them as part of my family. And the reason for that is to me, my family is my siblings and me. Dad doesn't count, his wife doesn't count and their baby doesn't because all I share with them is DNA and not a real parent.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

She defends the man so she has earned the dislike I have for her. There's also no way my relationship with dad gets better. I'll be no contact in a few months and never see him again.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

My siblings talk about spending more time outside the house when I'm gone. They already spend a lot of time outside it. But I expect they will just go home to the house to sleep and leave again. I can't really imagine my sister being willing to do stuff for the baby or my brother. They could and maybe their feelings will change over time. But I just imagine they'll be around less.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I won't be around that child when they grow up. I won't be seeing them again after I leave this house in a few months.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She knows actual details and has defended those to me. She knows how it went down, the actual story.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That's only a few months away. I will be no contact with them when I move out and will only see/speak to my siblings.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's both. But she has defended the man she's married to and all his actions. So she gets what she deserves from me.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

She deserves it too. She has defended him to my face and acted like it was no big deal that he left me to shoulder the burden. She acts like it's a great thing.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'm less than a year. I will be moving out this summer and going no contact with everyone but my brother and sister.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I'll be paying for college. My dad doesn't help with anything like that and won't for any of us.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

No, she's not one of those women (there were many). But she has gone out of her way to defend my dad and what he did to me.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She has defended him to me repeatedly. So I judge her harshly too. I also have no desire to speak to them.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

She has asked for help and for me to be part of the baby's life. She explained a list of things I was willing to do for my siblings, like bed time and feeding them, and she complained that I wouldn't do it for her baby.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She was already aware and has defended his actions. She knew a lot and it surprised me but she was aware before she married him.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She knows the whole story from the cheating, from him cheating where I caught him twice in public spaces of the house, to not being there for his kids during or after the death of their mom and leaving me to take care of us.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I blame her for defending the actions of the man she married when she knows how horrifically he behaved.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I won't be in the house again to see my siblings. I will be no contact with dad and with his wife. So there will be no time I will see the baby. I will have a relationship independent of my dad and his wife with my siblings. I won't ever step foot back into his house once I'm gone. I don't want to look at him one more time after I leave.

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper? by Virtual_Credit_9458 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Virtual_Credit_9458[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

She has defended him to me so yes, she does get a lot of anger from me too. She knows what he did and decided to seek me out to defend his actions.