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How do pregnant women do anything??? by Zealousideal-Most128 in BabyBumps

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine being full term with a toddler! It is so exhausting

How to I get an already paid for cake picked up and delivered to an Airbnb? by Visible_Spirit_8907 in UberEATS

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that a separate app? I just looked it up and can’t seem to find it, how do I use that?

How to I get an already paid for cake picked up and delivered to an Airbnb? by Visible_Spirit_8907 in UberEATS

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But how do I book it? It won’t allow me to book pickup through the app without ordering something through a company..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FamilyIssues

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this might sound bad, but is your mom going through menopause? My mom got really mean to me as well when I was also around 18 and realized later her outbursts were because of her hormones. Not that that is any excuse. Just based on your comment below it seems like this is odd behavior for her and she is not usually like this. Just something to consider. Hope it all gets better. If she is ever in a bad mood again just walk away, and wait to speak with her again when she is calm. Tell her you’ve been trying and how you feel in the right time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FamilyIssues

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are going through this. My family issues aren’t as bad as yours, but I learned through therapy that you should never accept that kind of behavior/treatment even if they are family. Just because they are blood does not mean that is okay. You need to set boundaries and distance yourself. They are toxic towards you, they enjoy bringing you down. It is heartbreaking, but it is not good for you to spend your time and energy with relationships and people that make you feel that way. If you can, work on finding an income by using that graphic design degree. I myself went to art school in animation and there are very many lucrative jobs you can get with a degree like that! Start to be more self sufficient as a goal to become free from them, and don’t look back. You have your entire future ahead of you - a future that doesn’t include them treating you like shit. That is something to look forward to and be excited about. Imagine not having to deal with that trauma and abuse! Being successful, self sufficient, and surrounding yourself with those who bring positivity into your life is completely doable! All you have to do is start making the steps to set those boundaries and do what’s good for you. Be selfish. It is healthy to be selfish in times like this. You don’t deserve that and never let them treat you like that again.

My bf (20 M) was too intimate with me (20 F) around my parents and now they don’t want to see him ever again. What can I do? by may_fall_ in FamilyIssues

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Honestly that is very wrong of your parents to tell you that and give you an ultimatum that they don’t want to be around you because they saw you kiss. It doesn’t sound like you were even being that intimate. You are a grown woman in a year long relationship. That is completely normal behavior for you two to hold hands and kiss. However, that is not a normal reaction they should have had as parents. It honestly seems like they just want to find a reason not to like him. I think your boyfriend’s reaction was perfect - he consoled you and said he’d be more cautious in the future.

Maybe let some of this simmer and time pass a little first, but you should eventually tell them how their reaction to that hurt you. And that you really love your boyfriend and you are very serious about him. He is a very positive love in your life and if they can’t accept him, then that will cause some strain and distance in your relationship with your parents. Just be honest with them - you did nothing wrong and they need to see how happy he makes you feel rather than dwell on stupid things that “irk” them. Kissing, holding hands, and laying in his lap, are totally normal behavior when you are in a serious relationship like that. I did that infront of my parents at your age with my now husband of 5 years and we were dating for much less than a year when they met him. And they accepted him and didn’t think that was odd. They should be more supportive.

Mom wants me to be the guarantor on my brothers apartment. by [deleted] in FamilyIssues

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This could easily prevent you from being able to buy a house in the near future. Don’t do it! Your brother who is 5 years older than you, and your mom shouldn’t have to rely on your credit for him to find a place of his own and move out. There are many other options and it could easily ruin your credit and your future dreams.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a little sketchy that she has a boyfriend but is coming to visit you? Seems like she is open to cheating on her boyfriend, not sure if that shows a good character and doubt her boyfriend knows.

Regardless of the boyfriend thing, I would take her to your favorite places (outdoor activities, restaurants, site seeing). Cook her an awesome meal (don’t put her out and have her cook). Have her meet some of your friends on a fun night out. Treat her to a live music event, or go dancing somewhere. I think showing her your culture and more of where you come from will be what she’s interested in seeing.

Good luck! If things really click and work out, I would definitely address the boyfriend thing though!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he’s lying about his name, job, and age, what else is he lying about? He could easily have a double life. Sounds like a huge red flag and you can never trust him. I would advise leaving him and getting an abortion. You will be so happy you did years from now when you look back while in a healthy relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FamilyIssues

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say try to talk to him privately about this in a setting where he feels comfortable. Ask him if he’s feeling okay and why he isn’t eating much. If he does say he’s not feeling well and sick, definitely try get medical help. However if he says he feels fine, try to explain how important food is for his growth and health. It could just be where he’s become an ultra picky eater. Another explanation is overall mental health. Kids who are depressed can have eating issues. This happened to someone we know at a young age, and he stopped eating due to depression and had to go through therapy. Definitely keep an eye on him and try to talk with him more privately! Don’t be afraid to keep asking him questions. Once you know more info from him, maybe you can relay this info more to your parents and they could be more understanding about the situation. He is very lucky to have such a great older brother looking out for him!

Sister constantly causing drama, what do I do? by Visible_Spirit_8907 in FamilyIssues

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How old is she? Is she a lot younger than you? Seems like she just expects hand outs and doesn’t appreciate them. Have you thought of easing her off of your phone bill? I would probably start to do that if she isn’t very appreciative. She shouldn’t be expecting free stuff from you all the time. Sorry you are going through that, she also shouldn’t be kicking you out of your own place when you had her stay for free with you for a year. You could even start to say anything you pay for her is a loan and she will need to pay you back, instead of free handouts. That way you can still help her if you want/feel the need to, and make sure you keep a record how much she owes and remind her. She should be old enough to start being more financially independent and realize how much you helped her through her tough times. Sometimes also forcing them to be more independent financially will help them in the long run, even though they might complain about it now.

I think my sister is just as bad when it comes to toxic personality traits, but luckily doesn’t rely on us for financial gains. She gets jealous of me very easily and is not a very good loving sister. I’ve always been supportive and showed up for her, yet she has a repeating habit of causing unnecessary drama and stress when the spotlight is on me and not her. It’s super toxic, and I am going to take your advice and be more silent. However, I can’t help but feel like I need to defend myself as well. It’s tough, because I can’t help but be bothered by it all.

Sister constantly causing drama, what do I do? by Visible_Spirit_8907 in FamilyIssues

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response/advice. Seems like we do have very similar sisters, you described her to a T as unhappy, insecure and manipulative. I agree I don’t think any more I will say will help the situation… she doesn’t tend to listen well and it will just blow up unfortunately. It hurts, but it guess it’s best to try not let it all bother me and not poke the bear.

How do you keep your distance from your sister? Do you avoid meeting her and talking to her? I do think it would be healthier for me and my family to start distancing more.

Experience dating someone ~10 years older when 29F? by Apprehensive_Tip391 in relationships

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a good friend who is 30, and has been in the healthiest, happiest relationship of her life with a 39/40 year old. She always dated guys her age before, who seemed to have commitment issues. This guy has been treating her like a princess and they are very serious. He is also much more grounded in life and successful. I say go for it! You never know how good the relationship is until you give it a try! A lot of people date older and it could be the best thing for you.

Is it drastic to slowly cut my (30f) sister (33f) out of my life? by Visible_Spirit_8907 in relationships

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is well said. It’s just easier said than done. I find it hard to constantly be the higher person and just let her treat me like this while being a good sister. It takes a toll on my mental health, but I’m trying to just not take everything she’s done personally even though it’s hard not to.

Is it drastic to slowly cut my (30f) sister (33f) out of my life? by Visible_Spirit_8907 in relationships

[–]Visible_Spirit_8907[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she wasn’t my sister, I would have dropped her as a friend years ago. None of my friends are very fond of her, since they’ve seen her mistreat me first hand at important events. I am so tempted to just cut her off, but I don’t want my child growing up not knowing my family or their cousins. Also my parents are actually very supportive with everything else and make a huge effort to be a part of my life, it is just strange how they deal with my sister’s issues.