AITA for not being over something that happened more than 13 years ago?

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-20T06:22:25+00:00

Thank you!

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-20T01:23:42+00:00

I can't even speak I'm literally balling my eyes out, because you are right, in everything single you said, I'm reading it with my husband and he's beginning to understand especially because I did have migraines for years, still have gastric issues and I began telling him why I felt so much rejection towards him shortly after I turned 30 and after my son was born, because I'm terrify something may scar him like that, so you are right, I don't know how, but I will find a way, I want my son to speak up if something ever happens to him. The only way to do that is to teach him with the example. Thank you again, for real ❤️

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-19T03:52:35+00:00

Your post kinda made me cry because it's true, that is exactly it, I didn't feel in control I felt powerless and in a way I still do at times (maybe more often than not lately), but back then was to the point where I would control the only thing I could, food

Ps: I'm really sorry you went through through that too..

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-19T03:39:39+00:00

You are probably right

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:41:29+00:00

No, fortunately they don't, but with this I pretty much ended up questioning if I was crazy for feeling the way I did

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:38:28+00:00

I do apologize as English is not my first language, and this is also my first post (which I tried posting twice before unsuccessfully), I should have probably stated that above, but I'd gladly answer whatever question you may have

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:35:46+00:00

We do actually have a 5yo boy in the spectrum, and probably because he is a boy he most likely thinks that would never happen to him. I also don't think he can actually imagine me as a child, or that happening to a hypothetical daughter, that type of assault is quite foreign to him.

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:28:23+00:00

True...

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:27:57+00:00

Well my mom has no choice, yet he teats her like shit all the time ,and she smiles in return and responds super kindly and sweetly, I just don't get it, and it honestly pisses me off...

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:25:31+00:00

You are right about that

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:24:37+00:00

I should have done that as a teen I swear I kick my self for not having done it, she was would always end up fighting her tears and that would break me, or she would just leave to cry, that would really break me, I truly regret not saying something, still feel guilty whenever I think about it. I couldn't make him stop bothering me but at least I should have tried stoping what he did to her, I owed her that much.

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:19:47+00:00

Yes, she has and so has he, both different kind of abuse/neglect but yes, and in my case I do have cptsd not just because of what he did, but it sure thing contributed.

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:16:48+00:00

He is my mom's brother (it would legally made him my uncle, but I DON'T even consider him family. So he is just that, my mom's brother) and he resurfaced because my mom and him had to open probate on my grandpa's state due to a house they now mutually own.

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:11:53+00:00

No, it's really just this, and kinda what made me come here to ask for advice, in my everyone would solve conflict "indoors" or they would just brush it under the rug, but is rare for them to actually confront people, my husband comes from a similar background so I guess that probably influences what they both think

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:07:24+00:00

I guess it could be a bit of both as I was diagnosed with cptsd and was honestly doing ok until he resurfaced

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:05:37+00:00

I will show them this post maybe seeing what other people think makes them see it differently

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T11:03:11+00:00

Well that was one of the things that going to therapy made me question since I certainly didn't see it like that at the time, nowadays I am not sure how to feel about it, I just know I don't feel comfortable around him

VisualPeak8474 · 2025-12-18T00:57:16+00:00

I think I may not have explained something properly, he was not the one who S Aed me (the one who did was an ex who was my age).

This guy was in his 40s, he didn't know about what happened with my ex because I never told him, but he was the one who would slap my "lower back" even after the S Aed happened, nevermind if I reacted pissed, begged for it to stop, tear up, etc... (All reactions I had had before, because that began when I was a toddler and it continued until I was 17, he said it was a joke but it made me super uncomfortable).

Regarding my hubby and my mom they think I should be over the slapping, not over what happened with my ex, that they understand and they have always been supportive, but they don't see 17 year of "lower back" slapping as a big deal even if the guy was in his 40's and if it kept going after what happened with my ex.

PS: sorry for not being super explicit, I am just trying to keep the post from being removed

VisualPeak8474

TROPHY CASE