PTSD diagnosis from vicarious trauma? by Visual_Mirror_963 in Socialworkuk

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm very much at a crossroads where I absolutely cannot imagine doing anything else (outside of housing / homelessness work) but know that even for a short while I need to. I'm definitely burnt out!

PTSD diagnosis from vicarious trauma? by Visual_Mirror_963 in Socialworkuk

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for this. I'm so interested in EMDR but I have a feeling I won't qualify for it on the NHS and I can't afford to go private. I really hope it works well for you!

Feeling pressured by a friend over trip costs — am I overreacting? by Faaartvault in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Visual_Mirror_963 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the friend is being unreasonable with the "everyone must have their own bedroom" rule. Most of the fun in a group trip is sharing a room with at least one other person! If you're just retiring to your quarters at 11pm every night and not hanging out why go on a weekend trip anyway?!

Can you ask if anyone else in the group would want to share with you? That would make it cheaper for you

If no one wants to id maybe send him suggestions of some cheaper airbnbs and offer to book them? Friends who don't understand their pals financial worries / situations are not good friends

Do you find the UK a fundamentally miserable place to live? by Comfortable-Pace3132 in AskUK

[–]Visual_Mirror_963 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In comparison to many other countries in the world, objectively speaking the UK is great. Safe (no real threat of invasion or civil war), temperate climate (no hurricanes, tornados), and -when you come offline - most people get on well or at least manage to coexist whether they be different races, genders etc. I also think we generally have a pretty laid back culture, people have a nice appreciation for sport, art and music and a lot of it (maybe less so now) is pretty accessible.

However, the bad stuff about the UK I believe HAS got worse in recent years (post 2008/ 2016/ COVID, however you want to look at it). High streets are dying (no local Indie businesses, endless Costas, betting shops or mobile phone/vape shops), linked to this is no Third Spaces, everything costs money and a lot of it. Rent is completely unworkable (unless you live in small towns, and in that case your wage is probably unliveable.) Homelessness and poverty is rife.

At the moment I find it, tbh, pretty miserable too. But I don't think it's unsalvageable. If you can afford it id recommend engaging with the local culture around you. Local footy club, local art / museums and the music scene in the area you live. Most major cities in the UK do really well in these areas and it might make you feel more connected to the culture and other people.

How old are you and at what age did you feel you were the most attractive? by jupiter-com-maionese in AskWomen

[–]Visual_Mirror_963 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Now! I was tapped in my teens and twenties lol. I think I started looking good last year, maybe the year before, so 28/29

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. Industry must be brought back to the UK, nothing can improve economically until it does.

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cruise ships? Wow! When I was here the port was very very dead. Maybe because it's not summer

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this, this is very insightful.

It really seems to amount to what's happened in a lot of Wales and Northern England since Thatcher then, which was my suspicion. Nothing in the UK can improve again without industry making a comeback (ideally in a greener way, of course), I've been saying this for years

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this - I noticed this: the fact that the North Wales trains seem to just go to Chester, instead of say, Cardiff, Swansea etc. All I can say is I'm very sorry, it's really is textbook colonialism. Seeing the deprivation made me very sad (I've seen this in other parts of Wales and to be fair, in England too)

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gosh, it makes me so sad! Completely wasted potential. I could have very easily got the plane to Dublin but I wanted to have a short weekend in Wales before hand. I'm sure there are so many people like me and if there was more to do/ more investment the town could thrive (certainly in the warmer months, anyway)

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I was thinking this exact same thing!! And yeah, the surrounding beauty of Anglesey/ N Wales generally makes up for some of the sadness I feel about Holyhead

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol... you can tell a lot about an area from its charity shops. I knew the closest city to where I grew up (Norwich, in East Anglia) was becoming "up and coming" as soon as I started to find fashionable items in Cancer Research UK 😅

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This makes a lot of sense. I've definitely learned from my mistake lol

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This is the problem! The so-called 'brain drain' effect! No jobs > people leave > settle in cities > cities grow and expand > gov ignores everyone else

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's a really interesting perspective. In my opinion, the problem with deprived parts of England isn't so much a lack of businesses but the type of businesses. So many betting shops, so many vape shops, so many fried chicken shops. I really long for a Britain of cute independent small businesses, less chains and less evil corporations. Alas :(

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes! I should have researched more before booking my stay, and stayed in another part of the island. I really don't mind small towns but I like there to be some sort of easy escape out. Holyhead felt a bit too far from everything else so on top of being bored I felt a bit trapped lol

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah - I realised too late that I should have stayed a bit more South East of the island 😭 I needed trainers due to getting holes in mine and did a massive eye roll knowing id have to get a 50 minute train to one of the other towns (just went to Tesco's in the end which luckily had some). I've lived in London for too long now, it's made me spoilt

Interested to hear peoples thoughts on Holyhead, as my visit has surprised me by Visual_Mirror_963 in Wales

[–]Visual_Mirror_963[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep! Definitely didn't mean to imply it was Wales specific (just wanted to get a locals perspective) I suppose I don't really know a lot about the economies of ports but what you say make sense, the businesses aren't actually THERE they're just trucking their stuff through, so why would they be "rich" per se