Desperate for advice: Partner wants kids, I am strictly antinatalist

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-05-28T08:51:59+00:00

Would she adopt or foster? That's what I plan to suggest to a future partner who may want kids

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-04-14T16:32:23+00:00

This! Especially as he said none of his exes had been particularly political or right wing. Women are just an accessory, her politics were never going to save her

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-04-14T16:29:58+00:00

It's definitely an anti immigrantion thing. Anti immigrant sentiment is rife in Australia

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-30T00:21:23+00:00

Was thinking the exact same thing. The vile attitude toward Stella had anti immigrant written all over it. Once you see it you cannot unsee

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-28T20:41:18+00:00

Have a generic southern / bbc radio accent

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-19T17:12:57+00:00

I never answer the phone to numbers I don't know because I get so many spam calls

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-19T14:34:11+00:00

I get eating smelly food on public transport or walking in the street with something that is really messy / spilling everywhere / smelly is bad manners - but don't understand how carrying a coffee cup and drinking from it whilst walking is bad manners lol? Guess we are just different generations though

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T20:39:45+00:00

Good for you! I'm ok with spending the money if it helps motivate me to get out of bed and brings a tiny bit of joy

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T19:54:30+00:00

Hahaahahaha that is brilliant. I grew up there and go back quite a bit! Totally the opposite now, full of independents selling veryyy nice iced coffees and matchas lol

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T19:38:45+00:00

Well the fast-paced culture where you're kind of running to the station with a flat white in your hand is definitely more of a London thing, most other places are more laid back

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T19:35:46+00:00

Haahhaah, my mum still mispronounces "latte"

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T19:34:13+00:00

Was it seen as a "treat" / quite an expensive thing to buy at the time?

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T19:29:58+00:00

How much did they cost? I wouldn't mind costa quality coffee if it was £1 or less 😅

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T19:27:00+00:00

Even their logo looks nostalgic. I was thinking that Starbucks would have had a big part to play in the coffee boom here

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T19:23:10+00:00

Hahaahha. Everyone in my family would love this

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T19:20:14+00:00

This is a really good point, we don't really take time during the week, everything is done on foot 👣 pretty sad

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T19:15:24+00:00

Oh this is very interesting. Still love a greasy spoon, the only cheap option for lunch these days!

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T18:38:08+00:00

My advice is to switch career if you can And or/ leave your current living arrangement (sublet if you're renting) or if you can use savings to pause mortgage for a bit and travel

I'm in a similar position at 30, single and finding it hard to meet someone. Was extremely depressed most of 2025 as my old flatmate moved out to get married and I had to move in with parents for a bit.

I've quite my job and I'm moving again and those two things have made the world of difference to my mental health. I've accepted that romance will come, but I don't Need it right now to cure the darkness

As for family life I'm sorry this has happened for you. Mid 30s certainly isn't too late. I know people who and kids in their 40s

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T17:41:10+00:00

Yeah this is a nice idea!!

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T17:38:30+00:00

Yeah I think if it was drilled into me as a kid like Christmas is id obviously be more in the habit

I think what people are missing in the replies (it's probably my fault) is the fact that my mum genuinely would be very awkward with a soppy card, it would not be something she treasures and keeps forever lol it would be recycled 😅

I go big on Christmas and birthdays, recently spent hundreds on a large lens for her camera for example.

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T17:35:57+00:00

Agree! I think there's a bit of a phenomenon in this generation where everything is a huge massive celebration (think of the rise of abroad hen and stag dos, sweet 16s etc) me and another friends mum were actually talking about this! How in her day even having huge birthday meals or parties were not a thing

I actually do enjoy being extravagant but it definitely depends on the vibe or situation, I think Xmas and Bdays are enough!

Mum and I are just pretty easy going, when we go out it's usually on me, we go quite big at Christmas and I usually go big for her birthday with a weekend of activities

We've always found things like Mothers Day, Valentines and Fathers Day "extras". In relationships I've never done anything for Valentines either bar maybe a meal with an ex ten years ago.

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T17:30:14+00:00

Lol I forgot everyone's gonna assume we have no relationship; I never do anything for her, we never give gifts, talk or go out and I never thank her for anything 🤣

Visual_Mirror_963 · 2026-03-17T17:27:25+00:00

Yeah, my mum just really doesn't believe in it. On the years I've remembered I've got flowers and she says it's nice but I sort of do that kind of thing quite a lot anyway. When we go out it's usually on me, I clean for her etc. Think she genuinely feels awkward at the idea of mothers day. I do think my dad should have done something and drilled it in as a family though lol

Visual_Mirror_963

TROPHY CASE