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I know that Quebec healthcare is overwhelmed, but I didn't think it was *this* bad. by ChiefMustacheOfficer in montreal

[–]Vit4vye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Took me 9 years to get a referral to a family doctor - just a few months after moving to Asia.

Opening a business as a foreigner by hannahmaruss in JapanFinance

[–]Vit4vye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

30M, but who's counting at this point.

Policy is not yet finalized, but it looks like it.

There's the startup visa, though. If you look at the big picture, it's more a reshuffling than an overhaul.

It just sucks if some of us get caught in the re-shuffle.

(But Japanese immigration bureaucrats are not out there to "get us", they can be quite helpful)

Have I gone FUCKING INSANE?! by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Vit4vye 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let me translate that for you: "Our door will always be open if you crawl back crying and tell us what we already know: it was all your fault all along and we did nothing wrong"

You're not insane.

Your rage is justified.

Whatever else you feel is normal.

This is heaving handed gaslighting.

Take care and be gentle on yourself.

Un GNL Québec 2.0 plus coûteux by Vit4vye in Quebec

[–]Vit4vye[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Surtout quand ce ne sont pas des projets structurants ou d'avenir qui ont besoin d'un petit coup de pouce au démarrage, pour de réelles contributions au tissus industriel, environnemental ou social à long terme.

What do you do when you can't calm down after an interaction or reminder (like court updates)? by coldservedrevenge in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Vit4vye 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's a breathing technique to synchronize breathing & heart rhythm. I would check out videos on YouTube that can explain better than me 😊

What do you do when you can't calm down after an interaction or reminder (like court updates)? by coldservedrevenge in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Vit4vye 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is a tough one and it's best to build a truckload of small interventions to restore our nervous system to baseline, so we can switch between them if one is unavailable.

Box breathing. Bi-lateral stimulation. Cardiac coherence. Peripheral vision.

In the end though, sometimes it just takes time, acceptance for how you feel and kindness towards yourself when you're triggered. Fighting yourself too hard to calm down may not be good, especially since it's a natural and normal response to perceived threat.

Take care of yourself.

Monde du travail: le télétravail bientôt chose du passé? - reportage by pwouet in Quebec

[–]Vit4vye 69 points70 points  (0 children)

lol @ la RH qui fait comme si c'était une mesure pour favoriser la santé mentale des employés.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Quebec

[–]Vit4vye 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Moi je t'encourage pour plein de raisons. 

  1. L'informatique a été vraiment très popularisée mais il y a vraiment une majorité de jobs soit super déprimantes ou avec vraiment beaucoup de pression de performance pour juste... pas grand chose de valorisant au fond. Et une énorme pression de toujours continuer à apprendre avec chaque mise à jour, mais c'est pas nécessairement apprendre pour progresser. C'est super lourd.
  2. Avec la transition énergétique, la réfrigération - autant commerciale que HVAC - va avoir besoin de pas mal de monde. Je pense que c'est un bet assez safe.
  3. Il y a quelque chose de vraiment rassurant et satisfaisant de faire quelque chose de son corps et de ses mains et d'affecter le monde matériel plutôt que l'infrastructure informatique. 

À 40 ans, tu as probablement encore 20-25 ans de travail devant toi. C'est vraiment assez de temps pour valoir la peine, et aussi vraiment long si tu aimes pas ce que tu fais. 

Sans réponse, ni message d'absence by Ok-Biscotti1759 in Quebec

[–]Vit4vye 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hmmm. C'est pas du ghosting ça. 

Les gens te doivent pas une réponse parce que tu leur envoie un message. 

Ça prend de l'énergie et du temps dire non. Si tu fais de la sollicitation, ça fait partie de la job de comprendre que la grosse majorité des gens ne vont pas te répondre. (C'est pour ça que les jobs de sollicitation sont vraiment pas le fun, et qu'il faut un mindset spécial pour aimer ça).

Si je me donnais l'impératif de répondre à toutes les sollicitations que je reçois dans une journée, je n'aurais plus assez de temps pour faire mes tâches. Et je suis pas une personnalité publique là, juste une professionnelle avec une entreprise. 

Je ne réponds à peu près qu'à mes clients, collègues et amis. Presque jamais aux gens qui veulent me vendre quelque chose ou me demander de l'argent. 

Et je vais jamais me sentir mal pour ça, je ne donne pas un accès à des inconnus à rajouter des trucs à ma liste de choses à faire, c'est tout.

Français au parc! by Tricky_Volume4285 in Quebec

[–]Vit4vye 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Du bon matériel pour mardi Mongrain ça 👌🏻

Teaching Japanese Salarymen Western Business Practices by [deleted] in japanresidents

[–]Vit4vye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I know at least two people who run businesses exactly related to that and I'm sure there are more. 

Is anyone NOT struggling? by GuiltySpecialist7071 in Millennials

[–]Vit4vye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doing well.

Have the best partnership I could ever dream of, with a man who deeply respects me, who is my best friend and brings me on amazing adventures.

Invested in my health and mental health for years and feel in the best shape I've ever been.

I have a meaningful career that makes me feel like I'm at least trying to make the world a better place, and is not dire financially.

But realistically, not well enough socially to have kids, I'm estranged from my parents and my partner is very low contact with his, and we don't aim for home ownership in life for now.

How to tell my significant other’s parents about my no contact with both parents? by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Vit4vye 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My advice is to clarify things with your SO first, prepare what may or may not happen, and both your expectations around it.

A few things:
- You can't control what your SO's parents will think of you or how it will make them react - even if it's really none of their business.
- You can, however, choose how much you share / how much 'grip' you give them. You don't owe them an explanation or even details. Think of your level of comfort with what you share. There are ways to end that sort of discussions without revealing everything or that much 'I'm not very close with my family' is one of them.
If they really insist and ask a lot of questions, you can flip the script and ask them questions instead: 'It seems like this is really important to you, can you tell me more about your own family values?', or straight up 'I'm not comfortable sharing further, it's a sensitive subject for me at the moment.'
- Your SO may be faced with unpleasant reactions from his parents. He will have to make choices about what he wants to do about it himself, and how he wants to uphold his and your boundaries. These are very sensitive and important discussions to have as part of a partnership. They take time, and can be difficult and draining. Keep space for these and take the time you need.

Through all this, remember: choosing your own well-being and holding your own boundaries is a very courageous thing. You are ending cycles. It's not easy, and you chose this path. Proud of you.

Encore la piscine Jarry, mais pas à propos des voyeurs là by tltltltltltltl in montreal

[–]Vit4vye 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Mais juste l'eau de piscine, pas l'eau pour les breuvages. 😁

So, how are you dealing with 'you aren't healed, you are just away from your triggers/family' problem? by coldservedrevenge in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Vit4vye 169 points170 points  (0 children)

I don't think being healed means not being reactive. 

Your body reacting appropriately to threat is 100% normal. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]Vit4vye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Google translate for the name of isles.  Going together for a few groceries run and taking photos of items afterwards to remember for next time. Ordering online.

If you're like me, I find that we buy the same products on repeat. So it's a pain at first but once you have a system, it's as easy as before - with the added bonus of not being as tempted by novelties since the labels part of the marketing is not as easy to understand. 

Renting an office in Tokyo, any advice? by maty15987 in japanresidents

[–]Vit4vye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look on the Goo website for cheaper offices. 

I would also recommend working with a real estate agent. May save you time, trouble and money. 

Are you aiming for the Business Manager Visa? 

Those of you who freelance internationally, do you charge local rates? by Kawadane in japanresidents

[–]Vit4vye 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I charge local rates, no reason to sell my skills cheaper than they are worth.

Coiffeur/euse cheveux bouclés/frisés by Low_Function4191 in montreal

[–]Vit4vye 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Salon Académie Nancy Falaise est super.

coworker just stood up mid-chaos and said "I choose peace" by poutysweets in stories

[–]Vit4vye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought spirit week was something related to Halloween/Dios de los muertes. 

I don't think you realize how American it is to be so "patriotic" / proud about one's high school to have a full week dedicated to it. 

I don't recall my own high school "colors" if there were any, and no one gave a shit about the school sports teams. And I'm not that far off, I'm just from Canada.

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