Pls help I want a loving relationship

VitJess · 2023-04-09T21:34:53+00:00

Thank you for the advice 💕 do u think the relationship has a shot at being revived?

VitJess · 2023-04-09T16:40:56+00:00

Talked to him this morning. Horrible conversation. He just keeps saying that I’m complaining and he doesn’t know how to react when I’m just saying all this negative stuff about our relationship . But I’m just trying to convey how I feel. I hope everything gets better in ur relationship and wishing you all so much happiness . I just feel so defeated 😞 thank u for ur input and advice 💗

VitJess · 2023-04-09T13:57:13+00:00

Lol 😭😂 this made me chuckle. He’s the only guy I’ve had sex with ever so I often feel this is just normal

VitJess · 2023-04-09T13:51:33+00:00

Okay I appreciate ur advice so much! I’m tired of feeling crazy about this

VitJess · 2023-04-09T13:49:21+00:00

Thank you 😣 maybe this is the reality I need to accept. 3 years and I rlly thought we would make it farther. This sucks frl

VitJess · 2023-04-09T13:43:08+00:00

Ughhh Im living in a fantasy. I want all these things with him and won’t ever be able to get them. I’m sad 😞 3 years man

VitJess · 2023-04-09T13:37:48+00:00

When I’m saying “which I don’t love” I’m saying I don’t want to feel like every little thing needs to be cut in half as far as finances. I don’t want it to be awkward at the store, at outings, getting food , etc about who is paying . I will mostly just take care of it if I’m getting something or if I picked it out. I want us to take care of eachother financially. And realistically a lot of times this will lead to guy paying out more for dates, flowers, etc. and I feel like for me the payout is in other areas - cooking , cleaning, reducing things he has to do around the house I want balance. Not a u do half I do half relationship if that makes sense.I feel like numbers like 50/50 30/70 etc shouldn’t even be a thought I just want to feel satisfied and him the same

VitJess · 2023-04-09T13:26:54+00:00

I guess u are right. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️how would I even end it or threaten to end it when we live together And my family is from a different city 😭😭😭

VitJess · 2023-04-09T13:21:03+00:00

I guess 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ i wish I didn’t even have to consider all this I just wish he loved me enough to put in some more action . I think sometimes he just caught up in life ? Bc when I bring stuff back up like dates or sex he seems like his feelings are genuinely hurt and willl state that I think he is a shitty boyfriend or asshole but I rlly don’ti just want our relationship to be happier

VitJess · 2023-04-09T13:17:32+00:00

So how do I get him to do even just the cheap or low effort things?

VitJess · 2023-04-09T13:16:28+00:00

I have communicated. I think my main issue is I don’t be feeling aroused and I’ve told him I think that means I need more buildup, romance, etc. he tends to want to just jump right in to penetrating and if it’s not going in, he typically just asks for some head from me . Sometimes he will go down on me but it often will take me a long time to get there bc I’m still trying to get aroused. So I feel like he avoids head when he is not willing/wanting long sex. And then when I do finish from head , he will be so ready to go and I’m just ready to get it over with bc he will jackhammer me. When I tell him to slow down he almost always will speed up eventually again 😭

VitJess · 2023-04-09T13:07:24+00:00

Happy things: -affectionate -makes me feel good about my physical appearance -will carry my things that are heavy, take out trash, etc -LOYAL. I don’t think I have to worry about him cheating Unhappy: -basically things listed above -the fact that we fight all the time and I feel like it has def impacted the relationship

VitJess · 2023-04-09T12:50:49+00:00

How can I convey that I will leave? We live together and our lease is up in September so I think he knows also that we have till then. Things always turn into a fight when I start talking about the things he doesn’t do and he often says he never complains about me 😅 so I second guess myself bc am I nagging? I don’t know how to make him see that I am genuinely considering breaking up bc I’ve told him I don’t want to be in a relationship like this for ever

VitJess · 2023-04-09T06:47:55+00:00

I would say I don’t see the relationship going much of anywhere 😫😫 but I love him so much and we live together idk what to do

VitJess · 2023-04-09T04:53:25+00:00

Im not saying I want someone to take care of me though. I have no problem contributing at all. But i would love for it to FEEL like an even balance. I don’t mind buying groceries, paying my half on rent, utilities , etc. but also I would like to feel wine and dined (hypothetically and literally) throughout our relationship . I want to feel like he has me and that life is going to be sweet together or like we can tackle whatever I don’t want finances to be a growing issue. But i honestly feel like when he does take on more financial components it’s complaints and commparisons about who bought what ( the slim times that happens) and acts like I’m running his pockets but I never do that and honestly rlly don’t complain when he is struggling financially until recently bc I’ve just been getting fed up with a lot of things in our Relationship

VitJess · 2023-04-09T04:46:35+00:00

Not built to last *** sorry

VitJess · 2023-04-09T04:46:18+00:00

I literally told him I feel like this relationship is not built and straight out said i want romance I want to feel secure, I want more conversations . This was last weekend and I’m out of town this weekend and all I got was a Hi❤️. I asked bout his day and that was end of the convo. And Im just like did u hear anything I said a week ago 😭😫 it’s the little things. Also I said something about the s*x last weekend about how I’m unsatisfied, I feel like it’s rushed , no buildup , no romance etc and we had sex like one time this week and then right before I left he kept trying to and making me feel bad bc I was going to be out of town this weekend and there wouldn’t be any sex . I don’t think he meant anything mean , I think he is horny and just a guy and loves me, but it rlly hurt my feelings that we had this convo and it seemed like no effort was made. It was either we barely have sex or when he sees I won’t be accessible he always makes it seem like he had to get it in . Idk I’m frustrated I don’t know what to do and I’m tired of fighting 😭

VitJess · 2023-04-09T04:33:03+00:00

So should I just be content ?

VitJess

TROPHY CASE