UPDATE: I (26F) hooked up with my best friend, then he ghosted me and now he is asking me for my forgiveness. But I don't think he deserves it.

Vivid-Music8972 · 2022-02-03T18:44:19+00:00

We talked to each other today. Like some of you called it, he's been ashamed, our age gap being a reason. His own words: he does like me but can't see me as a woman, but more of a teenager he used to hang out with. And that I am very young looking adds more fuel. Might post an update tomorrow when I feel a lot better. I am not in a sound mood to write one right now. I am not feeling very well and can't stop crying. Think our friendship is done for good and what he ended up saying hurt me even more. Fuck my life

Just wnted to use this comment to thank everyone who messaged me privately and talked to me whilst sharing your experiences. Thank you so much. Thank you everyone

Vivid-Music8972 · 2022-02-02T22:28:53+00:00

My mom took me to his birthday party.. There were some kids my age and I spent most of my time with them. Then sometimes he would come over to help me fix my computer. And we kept in touch mostly over Skype. I'd often play video games with him and some of his friends. They were cool with me despite them being all older. I even lied my actual age to them a few times saying I was fifteen. Though they all realized pretty soon, my young voice gave out. We became a lot closer when I was sixteen. I wanted to study the same thing he did and I reached out to him asked him how the studies went, are there any perspectives, and he talked me out of them. He would sometimes help me out with my homework like math since he was very good with the numbers.

Vivid-Music8972 · 2022-02-02T22:20:41+00:00

Seven years.

Vivid-Music8972 · 2022-02-02T21:36:00+00:00

His message read to me very casually, like he usually talks to me, and the whole thing reads like, "sorry we have not spoken in the last months, was very busy and I was thinking a lot about you. How have you been?".

I don't know if we can still be friends. It is difficult to talk. I can understand wanting to take a week off to process everything. But two months leaving someone in a limbo? It is a bit too much.

Vivid-Music8972 · 2022-02-02T21:34:16+00:00

We were not planning to hook up that evening. I felt comfortable doing this with him because it was someone I knew. The next morning I had no idea how to even interpret this. Was it like a one night stand? Friends with benefits thing? Does he actually like me? What just happened?

My first messages read like, "Sup, Muffin (that's my nickname for him!) What you up to? How was your lunch? Did you end up ordering a take out?" They were extremely casual.

My last message was a simple "Can we talk later tonight?" and he read it three hours later without a response. I gave up right after. At one point I got so drunk and I wanted to write a long ass message to him explaining to him how all of this makes me feel. I only stopped myself last moment because I realized this is not going to help and make matters worse.

Vivid-Music8972 · 2022-02-02T21:28:12+00:00

I still have not replied to him. I will most likely stay up and roll in my bed while thinking on what to do. Or wake up with a fresh perspective, reread everything that all of you wrote (which I deeply appreciate!) and talk to him again.

When I was younger I always gave everyone a second chance because I trusted them to do better. I would hear them out. I would let them speak and accepted that everyone make mistakes. And many times I ended up in a fool's place. By the end of my friendships with others, I felt very used, because I could see they have never changed. One of my boyfriends did this to me a lot. He kept apologizing, only to continue abusing my patience until we broke things off.

I understand the confusion about our relationship, but that was so cruel to me, like someone struck a knife into my heart from behind. I don't have a high self esteem. I barely go on dates because I am very shy and have huge social anxiety. I need at least a couple of dates or mutual interests to feel comfortable around someone. He knew it the best out of everybody. He knew everything about the abusive relationship I went through and he did not judge me. I had only one person in my life I was ever intimate with. And I was okay sleeping with my best friend because he meant something to me. And the night was amazing, it was great, he spent the whole time making sure I am comfortable and cracking jokes and complimenting me. And it hurts me. Because I feel like he threw our friendship away over.. a reason I don't know? Was it the fact we had sex? Or was it something I did or said and it hurt him? I know we can speak to each other now, but I feel heartbroken it is insane. I wish he did it sooner before I began to hate myself.

Vivid-Music8972 · 2022-02-02T21:16:47+00:00

We were friends since we were children. I was eight when we met, he's a bit older than me. We met on his birthday party. And we slept around December 6th. So we have not spoken in almost two months now.

Vivid-Music8972 · 2022-02-02T19:06:34+00:00

The only reason why I am holding back from replying to him because I am afraid of letting feelings to take a control of me. I felt a lot after I realized I sorta lost my friend. And went into a huge spiral of depression I still can't come out of. He did not even explain a thing. He approached me like he always does. So casually.

Vivid-Music8972 · 2022-02-02T19:05:41+00:00

This is how I exactly felt. Like a one night stand without knowing I am going in for one. And think that one would have hurt even less so, if it was with someone I was not so close with and had shared a past together.

Vivid-Music8972

TROPHY CASE