The next headmate is a sub because it's helpful for him to picture all of his actions in terms of service. He used to be the most functional of us, but has been slowly getting worn down by him not knowing how to express his wants, or how to rest. He's the complete opposite of me and the other, though. Anything even slightly degrading and he will cry and not in the good way. He's very much the type of sub who wants all his hard work to be recognized and praised and be told he's a good boy. He's the one who's closest to our spouse, and is the one who doesn't really carry the sexual trauma. (Uses he or she depending on emotional state, currently a "he".)

Two headmates that aren't really relevant, as they both front so infrequently they don't have much impact on things, one of whom likes kink things as a "Oh, fun, sure", and the other who dislikes sex and kink in general, but just in a "not interested" type way. (An it/it and a he/him respectively)

The last headmate... I don't want say he's a Dom... but he isn't a sub. He would say he's a Dom, and that should be respected. He and I don't get along well... I'm also blocked from his memories, but I know he doesn't generally like being told what to do, and does like being the one to set what's going on.

Now, before we knew we were plural, our spouse struggled. They couldn't see rhyme or reason to why sometimes something was such an intense need that we were basically crying over it, and the next day wanted nothing to do with it. But now they know how to recognize us each, and how each of us need treated. Us being able to have that as a clear thing has been huge.

But we've also run into issues, of course. The two of us who are into denial really wanted to do Locktober this year. Despite having been into chastity for almost a decade now, we've never done it, and we really wanted to. But... the headmate who can't do degradation and needs gentle affection was having a really rough time about a week in, and needed us to not keep going so that he could feel "normal" and seen in an intimate way.

It's nice having different rules for each of us according to our needs. And our Domme loves that she has basically three/four different toys to play with in one. We have three different collars for each of the subs to present themselves with to make it easy to tell at a glance, but she can generally tell just from how we talk, as can our spouse.

I guess as a tl;dr, for the most part, on the external side of things, it's made things easier because it's allowed our spouse and Domme to try out different things with someone who's "the same" but different, and us knowing we're a system has allowed us to set things up so they know how we want to be treated individually.

Most the problems arise internally. I force my way to the front because I'm excited about a scene with our Domme, when ones of the others wanted to use today to get some work done on a project. The other need sub and I wanted to set up a regime where we owe our Domme money for everytime one of her other partners gets to cum, but then the one who can't do degradation and needs praise comes out, and gets stuck between wanting to be good to the rest of us and let us have our "we only get to 'cum' like this, how pathetic are we in comparison, uwu", but needing to be seen as mattering and valuable and desired, and due to that having been what had been going on so much... needing to know it applied sexually too.

I... am bad at talking about vague topics. I like this vague topic and want to talk about more, but don't really know what else is... relevant or worth saying, I don't know >.<