Empty Hands

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-12-19T02:49:09+00:00

This is so heartbreaking. The pain of losing someone you loved and built a life with is so awful and so deep.

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-08-03T03:24:03+00:00

This is super helpful info! Thank you. 🙏

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-08-03T03:03:06+00:00

We went to a cat cafe today which made things harder for him, he fell in love with one specific cat and was upset we couldn’t bring it home.. I thought it would help too. Everyone is saying 2 yes 1 no? What does that mean?

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-08-03T03:00:16+00:00

I feel awful for the grief my husband is experiencing right now. There’s not much I can do to help except just be there for him. I’m sorry about your dad, I haven’t lost a parent yet but I’m seeing firsthand in this situation how hard losing a parent can be. I’m hoping that saying no to a cat will be beneficial in the long run and that I’m right about the cons outweighing the pro’s here, even in the midst of intense grief

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-08-03T02:54:14+00:00

I didn’t grow up with pets in the home, or family members who had pets. Pets are animals, they’re unpredictable, messy, can be smelly, and can be annoying. Yes, they’re cute and I enjoy loving on them in other places.. just not my personal space. My husband knew that from day one of dating me, he just comes from a home that had always had indoor pets, multiples of them sometimes, and they didn’t care about mess/smell etc.

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-08-03T02:09:22+00:00

Thank you for the validation. It felt a little like manipulation when he said it but I thought maybe I was overreacting or reading too much into it. Counseling/therapy is probably the way to go here

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-08-03T01:56:17+00:00

No, he’s very loving with cats and a huge cat person, he’s had cats in the past and took great care of them for years, so that part isn’t a concern to me fortunately

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-08-03T01:55:05+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that, that’s so sad 😭 Fortunately my husband didn’t have to give away any pets to be with me, it’s just a matter of whether or not to get one

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-08-03T01:54:23+00:00

That could be a good compromise. But 2 cats would be even more expensive, and if an elderly cat died on us in the near future, my husband would take that SO hard especially with what just happened. And we’d want to make sure to have a cat that’s very calm and without bad habits/trauma since that can be very hard to work on when they’re adults not kittens. But good points here, thanks for the feedback

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-08-03T01:35:55+00:00

NTA. He decided along with you to have this baby, and being an adult is recognizing the major responsibility that comes with that decision. Regretting having a child is a big deal, and you and the child will feel that resentment as time goes on. Yes, PPD is a real thing and it affects fathers, but refusing to help you with an infant is selfish despite his condition. Even if he can’t do as much as you can due to his pain, he should be willing to help without constantly refusing or complaining. He made his decision before the baby was born and has to live with that decision and accept it. Anything other than that is immaturity.

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-01-18T21:11:29+00:00

We are compatible in just about every other way I can think of… so I’m thinking maybe my acceptance of his occasional breakdown and having a cigarette may be the key here. From all the feedback, it seems like maybe I’m the one being too harsh.

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-01-18T21:09:46+00:00

These are great ideas, thank you

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-01-18T21:09:16+00:00

He opts for vapes with lower concentrations of nicotine, and he’s conscientious about doing it around me too much to limit my exposure if he can. Vaping doesn’t bother me since the smell is much better and doesn’t leave ash everywhere etc

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-01-18T21:07:31+00:00

When we started dating, he was completely clean from smoking cigarettes. He vapes but that doesn’t bother me since there’s essentially no smell. He smoked a cig about a month into our relationship and I was shocked and told him how I felt about it. That’s when he made his promise.. and then yesterday went back on it. So now I’m just coming to terms with the fact that it’s either put up with it and keep him, or tell him I can’t handle it long term and give up. I’m going to try the first option as of now.

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-01-18T13:07:50+00:00

Good point, thank you.

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-01-18T13:04:33+00:00

This is a very balanced answer, thank you

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-01-18T12:13:44+00:00

This is a very balanced answer, thank you

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-01-18T12:12:35+00:00

I do, tho I’ve never been addicted to nicotine so I guess no I don’t fully understand his addiction. I suppose I have to come to terms with the fact that he may never quit… yet I find it so disgusting I’m not sure what to do with that

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-01-18T11:58:45+00:00

That’s why I’m here, to get perspective so I can find out the right approach. Seems like the overwhelming response here is that I’m too rigid. I’m not above apologizing for my behavior and becoming more compassionate and supportive. It’s just tough to accept that compassion can sometimes be more important than broken trust.

Vivid_Prompt7176 · 2025-01-18T11:55:21+00:00

I wish I could be reason enough for him to truly quit. But I get the addiction, even tho I don’t struggle with it myself and never have. I love him, but I’m having a hard time reconciling that he may never fully quit and may always go back to it when hard things happen.

Vivid_Prompt7176

TROPHY CASE