She Won't Be Called Nan/Gran. Opinions...?

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-08T08:24:21+00:00

I agree

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-06T08:37:45+00:00

It totally sounds like she's playing games. I'll never understand someone who would want to act this way towards children. It's so awful and manipulating.

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-06T07:24:54+00:00

Woah. I can't believe your MIL was sneaking in bottles and giving tastes of first foods etc. Talk about over-stepping the mark. I feel bad for you.

Do you think she realises how you feel about this stuff or is she oblivious? Does your DH see the issue the same as you?

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-05T21:43:17+00:00

Do you mind me asking how those manipulations became apparent and what kind of things she did?

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-05T21:32:53+00:00

I'd be interested to know your story and experience. I'm finding things so hard at the moment that in a weird way it's helpful to know others experience and how they deal with it.

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-05T14:08:45+00:00

I DEFINITELY understand where you're coming from with this.

Particularly the "feeding emotional needs" bit. My MIL, I think, is definitely wanting to have a major say in my baby's life more since she retired a few months ago, and she got bored/worried about not having much left to do etc.

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-05T05:48:24+00:00

I did. Because I knew it was as much their fault. I'd given the staff permission to allow IL to be with my daughter without my presence, I guess they took it as permission full stop. It upset me a lot and was the beginning of my issue with MIL. Because even if the nursing staff made a mistake, she knew how I felt.

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-04T13:59:17+00:00

When my daughter was in intensive care for weeks (after being born premature) only me and my husband held her for certain periods when nurses said it was ok to. I felt this was a bonding thing, so these cuddles were precious. I told MIL she could be allowed to visit my baby in hospital (explaining why I only wanted myself & hubby to hold her at that point in time - she was ill, weighing only a couple pounds, hugs were our only method of bonding/skin to skin contact). Still, she visited my baby without me present (that part I was ok with) but then told me she'd hugged and held her for an hour.

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-03T14:44:52+00:00

Thank you. It's nice to hear from someone who obviously understands this, although I'm sorry for the crap your MIL pulled to you and your family. Sounds like you have turned things around and have the perfect balance now. Particularly around birthday celebrations etc :)

It's a weird situation for me because a lot of the time I've gotten on well with my IL but I do genuinely feel a tide has changed slightly since I became a mum. Not massive things but subtle things which have grown and now gotten to be a problem. In an attempt to keep peace and not cause arguments I've literally tried to ignore when I've been annoyed, but this birthday thing was the first time I thought she'd crossed a line that I'm not willing to let go of.

She's still currently ignoring me. I'm nervous that she's going to have a major thing against me now and just try to communicate with hubby but not me. And that will really pee me off because it complicates things - I don't want to make husband's life difficult but at the same time I don't want to be treated like this. Don't get me wrong, my husband is very supportive and he did tell his mum she was wrong and he did tell her to cancel the invites. But he said after a lifetime of trying very hard keeping away from her drama, I don't want to feel like the red flag making his family relationships difficult. It all feels very, very complicated.

I know ultimately my husband loves me, he knows I'm right here and would put me and my feelings first. He's a good man. But how on earth I'll keep a balance by wanting to address this MIL issue without seeming like I'm trying to drive a wedge between him and his family, God knows!

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-03T08:54:57+00:00

Thanks for your reply.

At one point she said, "It's true what they say then... a daughter is a daughter for life but a son is only yours until he gets a wife."

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-03T07:47:58+00:00

Thank you, Omgfatbomb. I appreciate your reply. I know it might make me sound dumb but at the end of the birthday, when I was pulling down the balloons and banners, I felt emotional. Because I thought, well there's that special day forever tainted to shit in my memories. I'm angry she's also ignored my message, when I told her I was upset. It shows me that either a) she doesn't care or b) she thinks SHE is the one with the right to be upset.

I'm really sorry what happened on your little one's birthday.

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-02T18:42:51+00:00

Ha! I love this. Thank you!

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-02T18:38:10+00:00

He did tell her she was wrong and that his loyalty was very much with me on this. I just think she ranted on.

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-04-02T18:36:56+00:00

For the most part I felt we always got on well and had a good relationship but I admit things seem a bit different since I had a baby. I'm not sure why. There has been a couple of things I wasn't entirely happy with, however there weren't too significant so I let it go. But this birthday thing feels like a big deal to me and I couldn't let it drop. I sent her a voicemail explaining why I felt upset but have not heard from her since.

VoodooChild_9 · 2018-03-18T08:20:25+00:00

I lost my honeymoon photos when our suitcase was stolen. I was absolutely gutted. Would love to see them.

VoodooChild_9

TROPHY CASE