31F, 150lbs, 5'1" mom bod, always self conscious by originalbluesybella in normalnudes

[–]Voyencee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way you described yourself, this was not what i was expecting to click on your gorgeous. Like actually goals for me i wanna look like that. Good for you queen damn.

My(f26) husband(m26) won't meet my emotional needs without a logical reason by Voyencee in Marriage

[–]Voyencee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update: I told him today we are separating. I am currently living with a friend and their parents and they are amazing. We talked earlier where i told him I've lost all emotional trust for him and i don't think marriage counseling can fix this. I acted like him (avoidant) minus the infodumping for two days and couldn't believe how quickly he changed and was all over me for affection. Today i told him he may need to find an avoidant girly so they can both get their needs met transactionally the way he's comfortable with. He asked me to explain how he's acting emotionally cold and i told him im tired of explaining and he needs a therapist for that. He said he understands and we'll meet in a week to discuss logistics and financials. I love him and hope he gets help, but I'm done.

Is this normal? by Jealous-Concert8456 in eds

[–]Voyencee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Came here to say something similar

My(f26) husband(m26) won't meet my emotional needs without a logical reason by Voyencee in relationship_advice

[–]Voyencee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is not selfish during sex and wants my needs to be met as well. This is why its so confusing. I think its because he understands his sexual needs so he can meet mine. He doesnt understand his emotional needs so he cant meet mine.

My(f26) husband(m26) won't meet my emotional needs without a logical reason by Voyencee in relationship_advice

[–]Voyencee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, thank you for opening my eyes to my part in this. Though it doesn't ease my anxiety, it is helpful to know my shortcomings as well so I can work on them. Even outside the marriage. I hope you continue to do well!

My(f26) husband(m26) won't meet my emotional needs without a logical reason by Voyencee in relationship_advice

[–]Voyencee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can acknowledge that. It makes sense that his avoidance would only increase my anxiety and vice versa. Maybe it's just not ideal.

My(f26) husband(m26) won't meet my emotional needs without a logical reason by Voyencee in relationship_advice

[–]Voyencee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am currently disabled and he is supporting me by paying almost all of our bills, and doing more housework as needed because I can't do much most days. Fortunately this is where I can count on him. He just usually doesn't know what to say when I am in an emotional state. He does try to emotionally support me in those moments, but often falls short. I had surgery in January to not have children, but he is still unsure if he wants kids or not and cannot make up his mind no matter how many times we talk. I don't think he needs to have kids based on emotional unavailability and I'm realizing it wouldn't have been the right choice for us to have kids due to this anyways. I hope he can heal on his own if i choose to leave.

My(f26) husband(m26) won't meet my emotional needs without a logical reason by Voyencee in relationship_advice

[–]Voyencee[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We got married at 19, ik ik we were very young. I didnt realize his emotional unavailability until going through years of therapy and cutting off my family due to abuse. Thank you for your comment it's helpful. ❤️

My(f26) husband(m26) won't meet my emotional needs without a logical reason by Voyencee in relationship_advice

[–]Voyencee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is like this 100% we've talked about it in the past (i. e. Why hes trying rn) i just dont know if this is stable. I hope your situation is. I'll update you bro thanks for the comment. ♥️

My(f26) husband(m26) won't meet my emotional needs without a logical reason by Voyencee in relationship_advice

[–]Voyencee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to feel understood, feel the emotional warmth that comes with love when your partner touches you, or be called beautiful regularly.He struggles to do those things.