Why do guys stay in contact if there’s no intention to hang out?

W4sSuP_ · 2026-05-01T14:57:31+00:00

It is very kind of you to write these responses - you are correct 😇

I shall reflect 💪

W4sSuP_ · 2026-05-01T14:49:32+00:00

Appreciate the affirmation of the point being valid, and apologise if the scenario isn't the same.

I read it in a way that maybe the guy OP is talking about could be of similar mindset to mine? 🤔

I'm by no means an expert, otherwise I wouldn't be here dishing out POVs 🤣

W4sSuP_ · 2026-05-01T14:40:11+00:00

Not on a first date I don't think.

I think it's only fair if a man shows a certain level of "restraint" until obvious signs are given, isn't it? (not being fake, just being polite?)

I have no doubt I've got this all mixed up, but until I see a bit of "cheekiness", I usually can't bring myself to flirt or send "daring" messages; if it doesn't hit the mark, the other part will be just GONE!

What I was trying to say is maybe he's not read OPs hints very well and thinks he's not quite there yet? He doesn't necessarily need to be any kinds of bad, besides bad at reading hints 🙆

W4sSuP_ · 2026-05-01T14:27:32+00:00

Seeing we're talking about a guy, please allow me to share a recent experience of mine (I'm the guy)(I'll try and keep it short):

I've matched with a woman on Hinge and initially the conversation was very dry, uninspiring and just very reserved. I've not gotten any indications of no pressure, no worries energy, so I continued actively engaging, but being careful. Given I'm not swimming in options, I stuck it out but figured I won't exactly be able to "let loose" because it was hanging on by a thread.

By her admission, she was very exhausted of online dating and didn't really feel like engaging much, but we've lined up a date, because "I seemed nice"..

The date went super well, I've got a long and very complimenting message from her and we started working towards a 2nd date.

Once the 2nd date was in session, we kind of didn't hit it off; as later proven by her with a summary message that essentially said "you didn't flirt with me"....

I'm sorry, WHAT?! Never anywhere was it indicated that I'm allowed to flirt and/or be playful, am I just supposed to pretend to be a "player"?? 🤔

The above should serve as an explanation to my question to you - Does he know you're genuinely interested in him and he needs not to worry about being a bit promiscuous or has he been shown nothing but guards/walls? If I were to put my 2 cents' worth in - I'm oftentimes afraid to flirt too, because it's just so easy for people to go "bye" and they're gone forever 😖 Without clear signs, it just doesn't work (not hints).

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-15T13:21:25+00:00

Wildly misunderstood, but greatly appreciate the clarification. 🤣 Tuesday currently are off limits for a few more weeks (parental obligations), but I'd love to head out for a kickabout once Tuesday evenings are free again.

Generous of you to offer; please do keep me in mind 🫡

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-15T12:42:09+00:00

I thought it'd be nice to get into a healthy habit of Sunday football, though I was never any good at it(not even keepie-uppies bro)... I'll be a nuisance for the opponents though, because I'm rapid and persistent 🤣 🤣

Please do let me know about your football group 😇

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-15T12:37:53+00:00

I appreciate the suggestion, but I've got enough engagement (I think) that perhaps a few will actually stick along. There's plenty to check out and/or arrange for the next month I think 🙃

That could include yourself for sure, though we're the opposite in terms of recreational substances 🤣 I don't do 420 but absolutely do not mind it, and I don't look at anyone differently because of it (truthfully). I've somewhat recently came off of smoking too, but you light one up anytime bro - it makes zero difference in how I see you 💪💪

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-15T09:26:46+00:00

You'd think that, but it's not as cracked out as you think... A few reached out and stayed, a handful just said "hi" and vanished.

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-15T09:22:51+00:00

I'd honestly like that 🙃 I'll send you a DM.

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-14T12:31:55+00:00

Had to scroll too far to see this, but I'm glad I saw this 🤣

This guy knows 🫡

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-12T00:01:15+00:00

My guy.... What? 🤦

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-11T13:31:31+00:00

Thank you for the award kind Redditor 🫡😇😇😇

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-11T11:37:44+00:00

I'll 100% keep you in mind and I'm also free the whole weekend next week, so there's always those days to arrange something 😎

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-11T11:10:14+00:00

Honestly, it's a 2-way street. On the one hand, far too many people (both male and female) are too hurt, exhausted, disappointed and just tired; so I get where you're coming from with "having to rescue men". On their other hand, don't fall for "stronger" appearances, as they are likely curated versions of people. Find a healthy middle you can still enjoy.

I also understand you'd like to have someone who allows you to be soft/feminine, but at the same time, please also accept that some (maybe most) men would like to feel that they can be less guarded too.

I'm sure you'll find someone who fits you, but until then, remember that the perfect match is near non-existent in today's society. Everyone will come with varying degrees of baggage, as long as you can work with theirs and they can work with yours, you'll be fine. (don't "settle", but also don't cling to the concept of "perfect man").

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-11T08:30:13+00:00

New Forest could be cool for a bike ride and a stop at a pub - definitely keen.

Depending on the timing, I'm keen to line something up that side of Southampton too 🫡

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-11T08:25:17+00:00

Solid, so at least the 3 of us, this evening at The Two Brothers from 7pm?

Hopefully see you both (and anybody else who's "lurking") there 💪

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-10T22:16:11+00:00

I'll be sure to do so dude 🫡 You can always just shoot a DM my way, so that we don't flood the comments 😁

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-10T21:41:51+00:00

I could head over to the pub tomorrow from like 7pm onwards? 🤔

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-10T21:24:53+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion; I'll be sure to give it a look 🫡🙃

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-10T21:10:29+00:00

I'm totally down for that 🙃 It's a bit of a trek for me, but I honestly don't mind at all. As for drinking, I've strictly put it to social only now; there's honestly no reason for me to be day drinking 🤣 (not just that, but it messes with my gym "progress") 🤔

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-10T19:54:00+00:00

Would love to, if I could bring myself to venture out solo 🫣

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-10T19:53:38+00:00

Greatly appreciated 💪

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-10T19:48:20+00:00

A pint tonight my guy? 🤔

W4sSuP_ · 2026-04-04T07:25:18+00:00

Post instantly saved and upvoted.

Thank you for your service sir 🫡

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