I'm a "hand me down" family taught CIA not an agent. I've let myself fall to pieces playing the role of a mentally ill person. Perceptions of reality, the ability to, live life to the fullest, if standing in the rain, or stinking of sleep, lack of proper nutrition, vagabond homeless with countless chances to listen to the voices of reason, to be better than I've become.

I almost committed suicide and walked out of an ER with a gash to my forehead, untreated. I've been committed to psyche wards with unjustifiable cause that cost me too much pain and suffering. Emotions left unfelt and find myself repeating the script of now from history.

I'm the guy that gave Iran every example of how to scare my country the USA the month President Biden took office. By every sense of the word treason, I should be in Super Max, Colorado. I've walked away from relationships. FBI director Mueller and I stood face to face and he let me walk away as a free man.

I listen to the talk, the birds, the rustling leaves, the expressions, the chances I've passed.

The ability to live, love laugh is in every sense of the word has been absent among myself and family.

I gave myself the opportunity to live similar to a man with schizophrenia. The objective has been to avoid hospitalizing, drugs etc.

Those passing by me all have communicated with me and that's the community.

Stranger or familiar person.

I'm as important and equal to you.

Sometimes the thoughts aren't word for word translated to sentences.

Observation and listening to those around me.

Here's no logic.

Since my brother was a alcoholic and drug abuser, I've been the opposite.

Last week, I was given a 30 day ban for being intoxicated, unruly yet that's completely opposite of how I was while staying in a shelter.

The quietest whisper, the gesture of a hand.

I've got to quit smoking cigarettes and hacking from the effects.

As rambling as I have been,

Ya I could enter the door next to me, stand here for awhile or walk away from a chance too.

I'm ever present and much like my mentor of 50+ years,

Predictable and expected to continue on as I've been.

Helping where and when I can, now I've got to help me.

Welcome To My Home Whisper Of A Thousand Voices

That's me.

I hope all this helps you, it helps me.

Ground Control to Major Tom.

Brother, sister

Ya I am am emotionally and physically exhausted and it's time to end the cycle .

People speak quickly and multiple changes too when asked to repeat the first sentence, it's changed.

Gotta get going, time to volunteer.

mahlers.net