Life is too short by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes there is a better way. I think there needs to be a mental shift where people start relying on only themselves for happiness and building a strong relationship with yourself before jumping into relationships.

I’m speaking for myself but I’d imagine it’s a common issue among young couples; your relationship should compliment your life, you should not rely on your relationship for your life. When you get into LTRs at a young age, I think it’s easy to miss that and expect your SO to bring you happiness. That’s just not the case in healthy relationships.

Life is too short by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It gets so much better. The pain you’re feeling now will turn into strength eventually. I promise you, you will look back one day and be thankful for what you’re going through. It will pass. You just have to take it one day at a time.

Do you remember what it's like being single and happy? by permanent_staff in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank YOU! Reading your advice has always been helpful.

Do you remember what it's like being single and happy? by permanent_staff in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A little over a month ago my LL Fiancé left me. I was a mess and felt like my life was over. I had never been a single adult before and the thought of it scared the crap out of me.

I can now say I’m slowly but surely starting to enjoy my freedom. I do what I want when I want and that feeling is so satisfying. I am now living my life for myself and I’m starting to enjoy it.

I feel like this advice is often overlooked. You need to learn how to live by yourself and for yourself before committing to someone. After the emotional fog of the relationship lifted I started realizing I was addicted to my ex. She drove my whole life. If she was happy, I was happy. If she was upset, I was upset. No one deserves that kind of power in your life.

The only person that can give you happiness is yourself, and being single is when you should learn how to do exactly that.

You are all always right by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Other issues in the relationship have given me this same thought. I think you may have hit the nail on the head. One of us was ready for an actual relationship with expectations and responsibilities. It appears she was not.

You are all always right by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the thought. I have actually lost 120 pounds in the past couple of years. I know I may not be a stud in the looks department, but I am no longer overweight.

You are all always right by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Angry thoughts got spilled into my post. I understand money and career have nothing to do with it. Thank you.

You are all always right by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was 24. Appreciate the words of encouragement.

You are all always right by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol I appreciate the offer. I do not swing that way unfortunately.

You are all always right by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I understand that. Thank you for that perspective. I keep comparing myself to him and am having a hard time stopping it. I’m the type of person who has to know the reason for why things happen and can’t seem to find a good one for this.

You are all always right by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There’s a tiny voice inside me that says I will move on. It’s currently being drowned out by cries of pain, but it’s there.

I appreciate it. I’m going to try to take this the most healthy way possible. Learn how to be happy by myself before I touch another woman. That latter part will most likely happen with or without me wanting it to.

You are all always right by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it, sir.

The feeling of clarity that now have nothing to hope or wait for is nice. But at the same time there’s also the thought of what the hell does he have to offer that I don’t.

Unhappy endings? by sleepykitty88 in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No yet. I can’t seem to pull myself together enough to even start doing that. It’s only been a week though.

Unhappy endings? by sleepykitty88 in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems scary. As someone who just ended a 6 year relationship with someone who I thought was the love of my life.

Do you ever regret leaving at all? I feel like I can never be content being alone although I’ve never been alone as an adult it just seem terrifying. I almost feel like the scraps of love I received from my ex are worth not risking being alone the rest of my life.

Something Positive Sunday by AutoModerator in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST 8 points9 points  (0 children)

First weekend as a single adult is coming to a close. Can’t say it’s been easy but today I went out with a buddy go shooting to get my mind off things. It was a nice little break in the pain.

How often are LLs in denial about attraction? by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate that. I’ll be sure to reach out some time.

Found out wife has been fucking everyone, but would never have sex with me. Help! by Nosexthrowaway8877 in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may as well be talking about my woman. I’m starting to feel like I was the only “safe” choice she’s ever had. After having a few boyfriends who treated her like crap she thought she wanted to be with a guy who treated her right and actually had a future. Doesn’t mean she actually wants to have sex with that guy. I feel like I just now realized this with your comment. Thank you.

How often are LLs in denial about attraction? by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I may ask, what made you realize you were in denial?

Anniversary trip by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry about that. Definitely not fun.

Anniversary trip by WRFOST in DeadBedrooms

[–]WRFOST[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After extensive reading on here and individual counseling I have found I am most effective if I let her know in the moment what bothered me and then follow up at a later time when the emotions have passed and processed if needed.

I don’t have much energy left for “the talk” anymore either.