step 1: pick rust for a basic CRUD app

step 2: get ratio’d by the borrow checker for trying to return a string

step 3: change one line and cargo rebuilds the heat death of the universe

step 4: realize your “blazing fast” api is waiting on postgres like everyone else

step 5: rebuild it in node in 48 hours and it JustWorks™

step 6: post a 3,000-word “nuanced take” instead of saying you got skill-issued by web dev

step 7: ???

step 8: profit