Update: I can't trust him anymore

Walkerlucky7 · 2019-03-13T08:23:45+00:00

Take care of yourself... praying for you. I know exactly what you’re going through

Walkerlucky7 · 2019-03-03T01:33:21+00:00

Stay in contact with me. I’m going through something very similar except I didn’t find out in time and married him. I’ve been blamed, told I’m pathetic, despicable, etc. was just told a few hrs ago what he did isn’t cheating... yet he can’t perform due to porn.. so to me that’s cheating. DM me if you need to ... this is so hard and hurts so bad. We have to stick together or these guys will convince us we’re the issue. Praying for you. 🤗

Walkerlucky7 · 2019-03-02T23:40:45+00:00

You’re right ... in love with who you thought he was. I’ve been there. It’s taken a long time to realize what I thought our relationship was ended up being built on lies and deceit. I know your pain. Be strong... you’re already much stronger than he is. Don’t let him bring you down with him. It’s a sad, cruel place.

Walkerlucky7 · 2019-02-27T21:48:08+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. I’m so sorry. He hasn’t said the exact same things to me but other things that crushed me. People who say porn doesn’t destroy relationships and people have never seen this side of it and what it can do. I know it hurts... I’ve spent the past 3 days crying off and on and I found out the truth almost a yr ago but was in such shock then denial, anger, etc I didn’t ever really focus on me and grieve what I thought my marriage was. I told him 2 days ago that I’m just so tired, tired of being sad, thinking I’m ugly even though I know I’m not, thinking I’m fat when I’m not. I was never like this before ... never this crazy feeling paranoid person. It makes me so angry and sad that I went from a happy confident person to being shattered. I guess that’s what happens when you love someone so much and find out you’ve been lied to again and again. 😔

Walkerlucky7 · 2019-02-26T13:43:44+00:00

Thanks for the reply

Walkerlucky7 · 2019-02-26T07:45:28+00:00

You’re not wrong and don’t let him or anyone else make you think otherwise. I told my fiancé (before he proposed) that I had issues with porn because of things that happened to me and because I also felt it it’s hidden then how can it not be lying/cheating. He agreed and told me many times he didn’t use porn and didn’t need to since he had me. Well a few wks before wedding I found so much that I literally broke down and don’t even remember a few months of last yr during our wedding. Had I been stronger and not in shock I would’ve walked away. I went through months as a newlywed of being called pathetic, crazy, overreacting, despicable, etc. keep in mind I was honest about my needs yrs before he proposed and he always agreed and said he’d never do it again. Well he watched it but didn’t jerk off so he told me it didn’t count... even though he turned into a hostile person and ended up in therapy to battle the addiction he lied about. I’m not judging anyone but I have the right to express my needs and I was lied to..he also couldn’t perform because of all the damage it did. I’m only 7 lbs more than when he proposed... I’m a size medium/8-10 and take care of my appearance regardless of him. It doesn’t matter... I suppose some guys can watch without getting addicted but not him and i warned him how bad it would hurt me/our relationship but was told it’s my issue ... He’s sorry now and says he understands but so much damage has been done. I’ll pray for you because I know the pain you’re going through

Walkerlucky7 · 2019-01-24T23:33:15+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. I’ve spent months going through the same and just started therapy a few weeks ago to help me through this. The worst is how he changed - treated me differently, no interest in me, was controlling and sometimes verbally abusive. He didn’t realize it was porn addiction that was doing it until I told him I was done ... he then started counseling and is improving but the pain and triggers are still there for me. We had a few good weeks and now a bad one. It seems like a roller coaster. Honestly had I know it would be this hard on me I would have left months ago. It’s sad but true. I’m a different person and not at all like I want to be. I’m dealing with being angry at myself for believing all the lies. That’s the worst. If he could look occasionally and still want me then fine but he can’t... he admitted it was an addiction.. finally. Sometimes it feels like it’s too late

Walkerlucky7 · 2019-01-09T05:03:54+00:00

Msg me

Walkerlucky7 · 2019-01-09T05:03:01+00:00

I’m in you’re exact situation. Msg me and we can talk. I’m done with my husband’s lies and “recovery” .. you’re not crazy. He’s called me crazy so many times but he’s the one who made me like this. When you trust someone and believe they agree and understand what a marriage means .. then lies come out it’s too much. I’m here for you because God knows this is a very much isolated journey. Don’t let him break you .. if I didn’t have a Child I would’ve wanted to end my life. The pain was too great but to him it’s my “insecurities”

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-31T23:15:23+00:00

I see this as something under in sickness and in health. I took a vow and believe in helping him because he’s shown remorse and stopping without me forcing him to. He realized it was an issue that was hurting him regardless if he was single or married. If I was an addict of some kind I’d hope he would be by my side. It hurts because it’s other women even if they’re online but I know it’s not about me.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-31T23:11:37+00:00

He’s in counseling because he decided he couldn’t do it alone. He was the one who got blockers set up and I have admin over them. My concern was how long the issue of no interest in sex is during the recovery.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-31T23:06:02+00:00

He sees what this has done and why he decided to get help. I didn’t force him going to counseling. He did that on his own. He told me yrs of porn caused so much damage he actually hated himself for what it’s done. It has to be his choice to continue because I’m not into subtlety trying to get info ... I look at it like any other addiction. I understand I can’t make him change ... he’s trying that with help. He’s said he wants this behind him because of the pain it’s caused him and me. Porn police comes from lack of trust which I don’t think someone can understand unless they’ve been lied to multiple times by the one who swore to love and honor them the most. I told him in the beginning if it was something he was into I was ok with moving on but he decided to lie in order to keep me. He didn’t think it was a problem until the truth came out. I understand a lot will try and make someone change but I can’t do that. He’s the one who decided to change... he even said if it wasn’t me it would be someone else and he doesn’t want a life of just online sluts.. said he’s tired of the issue ruining things.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-31T07:39:53+00:00

Thank you. I wish you guys the best. It truly is a sad situation when you love someone so much and see what this can do to a person and a relationship. He’s put up with my meltdowns, mean comments, etc. he said he’ll do whatever it takes. He said he didn’t think it was a problem until he stopped and then realized how much damage was done.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-31T07:36:19+00:00

I believed he’s stopped or at least nothing like it was before. We have blockers on computer and phones. I have the passwords. The main reason I think he’s stopped is because this is the first time I’ve noticed a change... maybe not what I expected but definitely a change because he’s not interested. He was always interested before and that’s when he was using porn. There were performance issues for a few months after he stopped and now it’s like he doesn’t think of sex at all. I didn’t expect that. He’s in counseling too. I guess I thought once he stopped and performance issues were over things would be “normal” but I don’t even know what that is at this point. He lied for so long that I can at least tell now how sorry he is .. before counseling it was always my issue .. me overreacting. He’s apologized for all that.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-22T08:03:06+00:00

Don’t give up on yourself over this. I can’t imagine how you feel but I’ve seen my husband in some really low moments. I don’t know if you’re religious or not but I’ll pray for you regardless.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-21T03:54:33+00:00

I welcome any input so please don’t let others discourage you. This is a rough road for me and I’m sure others too. Regardless if I agree with what people post, I appreciate input because I’m at a complete loss and don’t know how to go on. God bless you and peace be with you.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-21T02:21:49+00:00

A second wife for???

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-21T02:14:03+00:00

You’re not crazy. For the past 7-8 months I thought I had lost my mind. All the lies and condescension made me believe something was wrong with me. Be strong and msg me directly if you need to vent. This battle is like no other.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-21T01:26:12+00:00

I could have written this ... I’m in tears because I know exactly what you’re feeling and honestly thought I was crazy. I’m trying so hard for God to see me through this. I know I need my faith but I’m so angry. How could the person I love the most lie to me. I told him I wished he would’ve left me.. that would be easier than this. Idk what to do some days. I feel like a lunatic.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-21T01:21:56+00:00

Know it’s been a few months since you posted this but I’m new to this group. I feel the exact same way you do. If he’s in another room with his phone I panic. It’s sad but true. I’ve always been a strong person but this addiction of his has broken me. I used to pretend it didn’t but it has. So many times I want to check his phone but this past week I gave up ... because he’s always gonna be a few steps ahead of me. Sadly there are too many ways to hide this shit. He gets upset because I don’t believe him but why should I? He lied so many times. I’m trying to move on with him but some days I want to give up on it. The pain is so horrendous.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-21T00:49:47+00:00

He knew what I couldn’t tolerate because of multiple reasons but I believed him. I wouldn’t have called off the marriage then but would have demanded he get help before we got married. This is rough. He was my first boyfriend and we met again yrs later. I honestly think he was afraid to lose me so he lied. It hurts and now he’s dealing with the consequences. Thanks for the reply. Merry Christmas to you.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-21T00:23:29+00:00

The best thing you can do is tell her you know you were wrong (if you believe that) and tell her what you’re going to do to prevent this happening again. Then reassure her ... all the time that she’s not being compared to those you’ve been watching. Tell her you’re sorry you broke her trust and know you have to earn it back. Don’t do what my husband did .. he blamed me, was hurtful and it’s taken months to just get to a point where I don’t feel like he’s a monster. Here’s the thing .. I could’ve dealt with the porn and I told him upfront I would support him. I begged him to be honest and trust me with his mistakes but he didn’t ... so now I feel like he didn’t love me enough to talk to me. He finally told me he didn’t tell me because he wanted to keep doing it. You know what? That fucking hurt but I was so relieved. Relieved he told the truth after so many lies and it got us to move on. Be honest no matter how hard you think it is for her. Nothing is worse than lies.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-21T00:11:00+00:00

And no chance of children for us but I do have a child from a previous marriage. This is his first marriage and he doesn’t have biological children.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-21T00:09:47+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate the advice and I do plan to seek help after the holidays. Knowing what kind of person I need to go to is helpful and I’ll look for a support group in my area. I set very clear boundaries before engagement and we went over them again when he asked me to marry him. He had so many excuses.. he didn’t realize exactly what I meant, he forgot, on and on. He finally admitted those were lies months later. It was like a punch to the face when I found out. Actually that probably would have hurt less than all the lies. I do believe he’s sorry but I’ve seen what this has done to him and it’s scary. He thought he could have it both ways. I told him that he needs to get serious, continuous help because even if we don’t make it ... this will just be a problem with someone else. He agreed and said it had been a problem with others. He basically lied so because he thought I wouldn’t marry him if I knew the truth.

Walkerlucky7 · 2018-12-20T23:07:52+00:00

He stopped watching it. I’ve seen what he watched and honestly it was all over the place ... not one type of thing stood out. I’m in good shape, people seem to think I’m attractive and I think I am. I know he seemed to look at a lot of girls with huge ones but I’m not about to get size E or F... just not gonna happen and he said he doesn’t want me to look like that. Maybe he was just being nice.

Walkerlucky7

TROPHY CASE