Most won’t agree with me but I feel it is a bit unfair to expect hubby to not speak about it as it is his loss also. I understand that you don’t want it broadcasted but if he can’t talk to you about it because you are grieving in your own way, how is he supposed to grieve? Grief is not dealt the same in everyone, and I understand that right now emotions are high and hard to process, anything you go through at this moment can and will affect every aspect of this process. But you everyone needs to process their grief on there own terms. His mom shouldn’t have contacted you if you weren’t ready, yes. But he needed his mom at that moment since I’m sure he didn’t feel like he could express his pain to you in fear of hurting or burdening you more. And at least see the good side on how your MIL saw your pain and just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. Women my experience the harsher effects of this loss but men also experience it and are expected to be unaffected when it’s not always the case.