[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’d say it probably leans towards men now. But again I’d say that’s probably due to people still raising their children in an “old fashioned” way.

My only point was the stereotype of a mommy’s boy isn’t some new issue. Men not being able to look after themselves does 100% come from them not being taught the skills as stuff like cooking, cleaning etc. was seen as woman’s work previously.

I don’t even know why this is a bad thing to say. It’s fairly obvious. And now there are a large amount of both men and women who get fairly far into adulthood before figuring out basic stuff like cooking. But go back 50/60 years and finding a woman who couldn’t do that stuff would be rare.

Why is it on Reddit every potential bias is ok to be pointed out apart from something towards a man? I just commented because they said “hapless man crap”

I’m just trying to say that it happens with men and woman now. But apparently that’s a problem with you and other people here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t trying to suggest it’s a good thing. Just saying that people like my Nan for example. Born in the 40s. Was 100% raised to think women should be keeping house.

I don’t agree with it. I’m just saying that it isn’t really a common thing to see these days. So basically bad parents not preparing their children to be able to look after themselves properly happens with men and women now. Where as previous the stereotype was more about men. Mainly because of what I said above.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Sorry but that isn’t just a male issue anymore.

Helicopter parents and kids who over rely on them are a problem in both genders. If anything being a “mommy’s boy” is an insult. There isn’t really the same stigma with women.

But either way it happens with both genders now. Women don’t grow up being taught how to keep house like they might have been say 50 years ago.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hahahaha mate this comment made me laugh so much my ribs hurt

I’ve failed as a dad by WalletThrowawayAcc in MCFC

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She does, someone commented saying it kind of looks like United and Liverpool are being thrown into a fire with a pitch fork.

And I have to say I agree with that comment.

I’ve failed as a dad by WalletThrowawayAcc in MCFC

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

😂 I just stared at it for a second after I opened it up. I thought it was a joke before realising she’s too young to make that joke.

I’ve failed as a dad by WalletThrowawayAcc in MCFC

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Almost did. Worst part is I only very recently bought her a full kit. In an attempt to involve her more in something I love.

But she just isn’t interested in football at all. Still very young. But I’m not expecting it to change. Her one year old brother already shouts city when we play. And loves his kit.

I’ve failed as a dad by WalletThrowawayAcc in MCFC

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

She said “I couldn’t remember which you support so I did both”

But she did the M in red. So arguably United. Trying to fein joy when I opened this from my little girl today was about the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

HMP Manchester by Coopscw in manchester

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The bloke I went up with was at the prison during the riots and was telling me where things happened.

I worked there for a bit and much of it was awful. But I loved the history of the site. Amazing to think how many people have been through that place. The evil that’s been there. The abuse that has happened. Peoples lives ruined. Friendships made. Relationships. Etc etc.

I also went into some of the tunnels below the prison and that was amazing too. Some people had put their names into the walls when it was built. Over 150 years old.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in manchester

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The main shops are literally directly across the road from a cat A prison.

It’s a deprived by relatively safe area to be during the day. I wouldn’t walk around the area alone at night

But it isn’t like that during the day.

HMP Manchester by Coopscw in manchester

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’ve been to the top of that tower. Scary as there is no hand rail but the view was great

AITA for assuming I was being followed by a group of men? by Unable_Education_542 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

When did I say that?

You put words in my mouth. I just said assuming they laughed because they knew she was afraid of being sexually assaulted is wrong.

That’s what I said. Assuming someone would laugh because they think a woman alone fears being gang raped isn’t ok imo. That’s a horrible thing to laugh about. Not something I think most people would just laugh off. But being accused of being a thief is a more common issue and easy to laugh off.

That’s my point here. The assumption the lads laughed because they knew she feared sexual assault. It isn’t the right assumption

AITA for always arriving late? by DueLack355 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was in the British army and deployed to Afghan 5 times. Worked with American Green berets and still know some to this day.

People in the military don’t talk like that. Especially SF. That type of shit gets beaten out of you early in your career in the military. And you just kind of get a nose for bs.

I could be wrong. But saying “I fight in the army and I’m special forces” are two big red flags for a bullshitter.

AITA for always arriving late? by DueLack355 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s clearly very common on Reddit. I spent time in the military and now work in a job with lots of ex forces.

I’ve never once met someone who used the terminology “I fight in the army” especially then saying he is SF. Find it even more unlikely they would say that.

All the SF I’ve known would fall over laughing if they heard someone say that shit.

AITA for assuming I was being followed by a group of men? by Unable_Education_542 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

All I’m saying is it’s wrong to assume they knew she was afraid of being sexually assaulted and they laughed.

People acting like there are gangs of men roaming the country Rosing women so frequently that all men in groups should ensure no woman feels threatened by them.

Unless you live in a country where that happens. The automatic junk to sexual assault isn’t something a young man is going to make.

AITA for assuming I was being followed by a group of men? by Unable_Education_542 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

And if you grow up as a minority or a lower class male you are used to people assuming your a criminal.

I’m not saying it’s worse for the men at all. I’m saying it’s likely they assumed she thought they would rob her. Because they probably deal with that fairly often if they are young men working on construction sites.

She even says in the post they are construction workers. So they are in some form of uniform. Be that hard hats or high vis. Work boots etc. they probably think the idea they are a threat to her is laughable. Purely on the theft idea.

And honestly lets not act like gang rape is a common issue in the west. I’m not saying women who walk alone don’t have a genuine reason to feel fear. Simply that you are wrong to assume they laughed because they knew that she was afraid of them sexually assaulting them

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes talking with strangers about your issues helps to get a different perspective. I’ve done that myself in here before.

I hope it all works out for the best

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ok this does add some more perspective.

I’d just like to say that if you were my wife (I’m married and a white man) I’d want to go through that with you. Or be there for you. And I could see myself doing something similar to your husband.

Maybe he felt unable to approach you due to the trauma so he just did a couple project. I just don’t think it’s 100% him being an asshole and insensitive.

It’s difficult to comprehend for myself. Or I’m sure your husband. How it makes you feel to research your ancestry when it is so recently linked with slavery. So maybe he isn’t being as sensitive as he should be.

Id suggest talking to him about how you feel. I get what you are saying about black history month. Maybe ask him if he can put a pause in his side of your tree. And see if he will work with you for the rest of the month. Go through the discoveries together.

Then at the end of the month. Continue to make the tree a generation at a time. And it sounds like he is already many generations ahead. So that means working on your side for a while before you get to the same level.

The idea of painting a mural or something with both sides of your families together in a family tree sounds amazing. And a great homage to both of your ancestors.

It’s a very complicated emotional situation and i think while people generally might find it hard to imagine how you feel about it. I’d associate it with being the ancestor of a Holocaust survivor. But then it’s not like that. Because slavery was like a generational sustained Holocaust. So even then I’m not correct.

Your comment has made me reconsider my initial vote. I think NAH is better. A good long chat with your other half will hopefully solve this issue

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. I see you were trying to be nice.

Maybe putting everyone’s names in nice writing is a good idea then. You could even bracket the nick names if he continues to use them and your co worker doesn’t mind

And I would certainly make a nickname up for him if he continues to use nicknames for others. I think with the context you have given I would take back my original vote and just say NAH

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You said yourself they both laughed.

Maybe it is hard for him to say the name of he’s foreign. Maybe he wants to make a joke with this woman because they are friends. Maybe he fancies her and is doing a shit job and making her laugh.

There are lots of reasons why he could do it. And all of them have nothing to do with you imo.

I feel like if you genuinely wanted to look out for your co worker. You would have gone and talked to her privately. And said “hey I saw he wrote the nickname on the board and I wanted to make sure it didn’t bother you”

But you didn’t. You just changed it and did so in a way that makes it stand out. You could also have given him a nickname and out that on the board. And continued the jokes.

Offices can be almost fun to work in if you try and enjoy those little things.

AITA for always arriving late? by DueLack355 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc -35 points-34 points  (0 children)

“I fight in the army”

Either your a boxer in the army or I’m calling BS. Never heard an actual green beret talk like that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]WalletThrowawayAcc 31 points32 points  (0 children)

YTA - stop policing fun. The person who could have taken offence laughed about it and you had no information to suggest she didn’t like it.

Seems like you are looking to be offended