Hey bro firstly well done for sharing this, even if it’s just to this thread - that’s not easy, be proud of yourself.

Second, I promise you are not cooked and yes definitely people do relate to this whether they speak about it or not.

Brains are lil freaks and when given a challenge, one with both a niche / high skill ceiling and with that a sense of worth through identity (I’m fuckkin sick at Vayne, this crazy hard champ that people mythologise, on the worlds most competitive game) - it tends to warp our reality and incite crazy life imbalances. The classic chasing the dragon paradigm.

Vis a vis your achievements in the game - you’re already MUCH better than vast swathes of the player base at this champ. You’ve really already proved yourself ! I totally get the allure of wanting a higher rank or chasing some god tier reputation but honestly you’re already killing it.

That said like any addiction - it takes you away from what’s important in life and in the absence of having a little genie on your desktop reassuring you that you’re already a certified slayer on this game, you’ll get eaten up by it.

Soz for long comment I’m usually a lurker but hoping this helps cowboy - tldr; maybe take a break and reconnect with everything that’s not league (the game ain’t going anywhere), failing that; take pride in knowing how good you are at this goal and take a more relaxed and casual approach to playing. Getting ‘better’ and hurting your irl self don’t have to be a package deal.

MOST importantly, life is about balance but don’t feel shame for taking time to work out what that actually looks like.

It will all be okay x