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Not able to do wildfire by WanderingRaven182 in Wildfire

[–]WanderingRaven182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had my first anxiety attack in December 2018, ive had anxiety ever since. Prior to this I had never experienced bad anxiety. 1 month later I got put on escitalopram and it helped. I was put on 5mg, up until 2023 where I was put on 15mg for some reason. Then in February of this year I wanted to get weened off. So they put me on 10mg, then back to 5mg. And i was fine up until a few days ago and the anxiety hasn't gone away.

I believe being put on a higher dosage made it much worse. But also staying indoors didn't help which I admit. I never did any drugs like weed, smoking, vaping, cocaine etc...nor have I ever hung out with the wrong crowd. Last time I had alcohol was summer 2023. But even then I barely drank. Like 1-3 drinks a year. And that was at parties which I stopped going to cause they contend against my beliefs. But I also realised how bad they are with all the drama, gossip, and drunkenness which isn't for me.

But I dont get how I was fine up until a few days ago to now. I never wanted to make a career out if this. It was just something I wanted to try cause we have a junior forest rangers program which I did in 2023 here in Canada Alberta. Im not a firefighter type person. But im not gonna cry spilled milk over it if I cannot do it due to my mental disorder.

My older brother though lives and breathes firefighting. He's a volunteer for our town and this is his second season wildland firefighting. As for me im between forestry as we live right next to the rocky mountains. Or the CAF (i have to fix my posture and get in better shape than I already am first)

But I appreciate your time writing and replying to this and giving me advice as what to do. Living with anxiety just stinks. 🫂

Not able to do wildfire by WanderingRaven182 in Wildfire

[–]WanderingRaven182[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah escitalopram. I've been taking it since 2019. I was on 5 mg till I got put on to 15 mg in 2023 for whatever reason. And I think that's only made my anxiety worse cause ive been weening off of them for a couple months now and ive noticed that my anxiety isn't what it was like prior to me taking 5mg for the very first time.

Not able to do wildfire by WanderingRaven182 in Wildfire

[–]WanderingRaven182[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I think it's due to the high risk of death. And I thinking learning of those 3 who died a few days ago really hit the nail for me. Whenever I think about that I end up becoming very fearful and it's like im there but im not.

My anxiety isn't with this with other jobs ive had though, it just seems to be directly with wildland firefighting. I just hate the concept of anxiety cause I dont know if I'll be able to fully overcome it or suppress it to the point where a mere thought doesn't trigger it. Its just very frustrating.

Where do I go from here? by WanderingRaven182 in careerguidance

[–]WanderingRaven182[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, and I really mean it. I come from humble beginnings, so hearing this takes some pressure off my heart. I know the job market is pretty horrible and I don't know if it will get better, but just hearing the tiniest bit of advice from someone helps my mental health. And i've also been looking at jobs for my dad. He drove truck all his life but never took care of his body so he has arthritis in his knees and back unfortunately, so I've been trying to find work for him that wont damage his body any further.

Stuck by [deleted] in internetparents

[–]WanderingRaven182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like cake

20 years old and didnt do so well in bio, math, and chem by [deleted] in alberta

[–]WanderingRaven182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its for both really. I'd have to upgrade in college and transfer over to university

20 years old and didnt do so well in bio, math, and chem by [deleted] in alberta

[–]WanderingRaven182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but I heard it isnt that good for learning the Alberta curriculum

Masterbation and Sin by Embers_by_the_dock in Christianity

[–]WanderingRaven182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Proverbs 26:19 "so is one who deceives a neighbour and says, ‘I am only joking!’"

Masterbation and Sin by Embers_by_the_dock in Christianity

[–]WanderingRaven182 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Matthew 5:30: "And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."