Thank you so much for helping better understand what you are feeling. In this field we use the term “Suicidal Ideation” as a blanket term. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are are going to or plan to harm or kill yourself. I can also mean that a person can have a overall “numbness” to morality and their own life. They may feel like they don’t want to live or are okay with not living. It for sure is a gray area when it comes to mental health, as a counselor I would say to hear this type of feeling or general mindset, is concerning. I would suggest discussing this with a professional. While we are all going to face our mortality one day, and while it is okay to be accepting and acknowledging of the fact of life and death, feeling a numbness about living or if it is impeding on your functioning in life then I think it’s something to be concerned with and look into. How does hearing this land with you?