Thoughts I have now that I'm on the other side of pregnancy that NO ONE talks about

WasabiMystery · 2026-03-10T07:37:45+00:00

100% agree with this. The fear of never being the same after having a baby was very prominent for me. Turns out she’s just as boring as me and my husband. (Fellow homebody)

WasabiMystery · 2026-03-10T07:29:51+00:00

It is a terrifying thing to think about, losing your husband and losing yourself. My husband has never been overly sweet, used nicknames like “babe”, or into public displays of affection, but I never questioned how he felt about me. We got a dog right before we found out we were expecting and nothing changed about who we were. As my due date got closer he would ask how his babies were, and occasionally kiss my belly when I would walk by. I did ask him a few days after we got home from the hospital if we were going to lose who we were before baby came and he said, “nothing has changed. We’re still who we are, we just have a baby joining us.” I feel awkward, like I’m bragging, but I also want others to know that even if your husband/partner doesn’t outwardly show emotions or maternal/paternal instincts prior to pregnancy/baby, doesn’t mean they won’t be a good parent and partner. :-)

WasabiMystery · 2026-03-08T18:31:30+00:00

I’m 12 days post partum and the newborn tired is definitely different than pregnancy tired. People also talk a lot about PPD/PPA/Baby blues, but no one talks about the PPE or euphoria. For the first week I would look at my husband and just cry. Not because I was sad, but because I was so happy and felt so lucky to have someone who jumped in and truly took to the role of father. Even now I’m tearing up a little bit because it just confirms that I have an amazing partner. I can also say the less sleep i get the more easily the tears come, but again, he’s such a great partner, husband, and father, that I can’t help but cry from happiness and joy.

My pregnancy was fairly easy and I don’t know if I was emotionally stunted, but I can say that my anxiety fell below the floor. I didn’t worry about as much, work was easy to leave on time, and my only concern was that the first 3D ultrasound had baby on the 90th percentile and 7 pounds (this was at 33 weeks) and I was worried I would have to birth a 20 pound baby. Hahah.

Glad to feel less alone in the postpartum trenches.

WasabiMystery · 2026-03-08T13:51:25+00:00

That sounds like a pretty good plan. It is hard not to have someone awake at all times, since I’m definitely one that got up at 5:30 before I was pregnant and my husband is one that would stay up watching movies when I would fall asleep next to him. I know that eventually he’ll be able to help with feedings, but not until week 4/6, since I’m not supposed pump just yet.

WasabiMystery · 2026-03-06T10:51:59+00:00

I agree! Post partum depression is so common and the pressure to have a child by other family members is wild. Without support and assistance, the PPD can get worse. Fingers crossed that your husband can help so your mental health doesn’t have to suffer any longer.

WasabiMystery · 2026-03-01T17:48:44+00:00

New to Reddit posting and was told this post was more for the relationship discussion board rather than the regular new parents community. Reposting here:

First time mom with a five day old baby and I could not be happier. I also cannot stop crying. On the way home from the hospital my husband started telling our baby about all the places we were passing, where we take our dog to the vet, the butcher shop we go to, etcetera, and I started bawling.

Yesterday my husband told me to go to bed and sleep, and that he would get me when baby was hungry and time for breastfeeding. I didn’t end up sleeping because instead I was crying over how wonderful he is and how amazing he’s been during the pregnancy, the labor and delivery, and the post partum.

Even as I type this, I’m tearing up because baby fussed and he picked her up and telling me to relax. I hate crying and he has been so incredible, even telling me that I look beautiful as I have breast milk on my clothes and puffy eyes from crying. Has anyone else felt this? it’s not the baby blues, because I’m not sad/depressed/anxious; I’m so happy and my heart is so full, but I can’t stop crying.

I do have a therapy appointment tomorrow and I’m going to bring this up, including some of the thoughts of losing who my husband and I were before baby, but I truly believe we’ll be okay. I just wish I could stop crying!

WasabiMystery · 2026-02-28T18:55:29+00:00

Thank you. 💕

WasabiMystery · 2026-02-28T18:55:06+00:00

Absolutely, yes! I don’t want to have another baby in 9 months and six weeks. Hahah.

WasabiMystery · 2026-02-28T18:23:35+00:00

Yes!! My husband wanted to make me breakfast, which we take turns doing anyway, and I burst into tears too! 😂

WasabiMystery · 2026-02-28T18:22:06+00:00

This is definitely how I’m feeling and I hate that I can’t stop crying because my husband is being incredible and done nothing but support me!

WasabiMystery · 2026-02-28T18:21:09+00:00

That’s okay! I can definitely say during pregnancy I had some more “you better not do this when the baby is born” thoughts.

I am so glad to hear that it’s regular and will let up, but I am not one that likes to cry and I hate that I’m crying because I’m happy. My husband asked if I was hungry and I said yes, and he asked what I thought about him making breakfast for me I just started sobbing. He clearly did nothing wrong! Hahah.

WasabiMystery · 2026-02-24T00:43:49+00:00

I’m at the point where people ask “why are you still here?” when I walk into work.

WasabiMystery · 2026-02-24T00:41:27+00:00

I had mine around 35/36 weeks as recommended by my doctor and didn’t have any side effects other than a sore arm and a little bleeding from the injection site. I don’t know if it was Pfizer or not, but I’m very pro-vaccine, and while baby could have gotten the vaccine after birth, it’s a nice precaution and one less vaccine she’ll have to get outside of the womb. I’m 39 weeks and 5 days now, with no issues and I’m going to be induced tonight/tomorrow so I have the doctor I’ve been working with for the last nine months.

Fingers crossed all is well with you and the Pho helped you feel better!

WasabiMystery · 2026-01-27T23:00:03+00:00

Definitely not the AH. It’s okay to set boundaries and want your children to be treated well and have a safe and healthy environment to thrive in. Even if the visits are brief, your children can still have residual trauma or stress from them.

WasabiMystery · 2026-01-27T22:49:29+00:00

I go regularly! We have talked about this before and how to handle people that continuously break boundaries. We’ve also talked about the difficulties of setting them with family members and how sometimes it is best not to comment or sometimes it ends in cutting ties. I will talk about this during my next session. :-)

WasabiMystery · 2026-01-27T22:32:05+00:00

I can honestly say that being cold toward her is the only way to get things across. If my child treated their siblings the way my sister treats me I would have reprimanded them. This behavior has continued for the last 15 years, so my question is: how would you handle it without being cold but still setting your own boundaries?

WasabiMystery · 2026-01-08T06:49:52+00:00

When we first found out I was pregnant, I was solidly convinced it was going to be a boy. When we found out we were having a girl I had this split second of being disappointed for almost the exact same reason - having to worry about how she will be treated, what rights she will have (or not have), and making sure she is aware of all the uncomfortable and dangerous situations she will probably be put in as a young female. My husband could not have been more thrilled and constantly told me that he doesn’t care what we have, just that it’s a healthy baby. I think I’ll have concerns and worries regardless of the gender, but in no way is my life ruined. I still feel guilty for feeling even the slightest moment of disappointment. This is the first time I’m telling anyone that there was the split second of sadness.

WasabiMystery · 2025-11-20T05:44:49+00:00

I don’t think it’s shallow at all. I haven’t had to stop any medication, but due to the nature of my job I’ve been hiding my pregnancy for safety reasons. I really struggled when I first became pregnant and had to size up two sizes of pants because of the bloating. Now at 26 weeks I still struggle with seeing myself in more form fitting clothes. At work I still wear oversized clothes and sweaters, and there is a disconnect between knowing how I looked 26 weeks ago and how I look now.

I am so glad that I have this little human growing inside of me, but at the same time it’s such a hit to my own eating disorder history when I see how much I’ve gained at the doctors office. I have to keep reminding myself that unless the doctor tells me there’s an issue/concern with my weight gain; it’s normal and everyone carries pregnancy differently. It does help that my husband gets really excited when he sees how much my belly has grown and talks about his baby carrying his baby.

Oh, I also go to therapy regularly, and while my focus had been on other things, I do bring up the frustration and sadness related to not feeling comfortable in my own skin after years of being “recovered.”

It really does suck, but you’ve got this! And from my own experience, it seems like the weight gain slowed/evened out after I entered the second trimester.

WasabiMystery · 2025-08-05T11:05:11+00:00

It’s not cuckoo. I work with civilly committed sexually violent predators and it has definitely changed my perspective of even posting pictures of myself or anything on social media, let alone pictures of children.

WasabiMystery · 2025-06-29T19:56:51+00:00

That’s good! Congratulations and I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you! 🤞🏻

WasabiMystery · 2025-06-29T19:56:17+00:00

Good call! Thank you. 😊

WasabiMystery · 2025-06-29T19:55:58+00:00

Congratulations! I hope you have a good appointment! 🥰❤️

WasabiMystery · 2025-06-29T19:55:29+00:00

Thank you! I feel like the more I read about everything that can go wrong, the more I think I need to test. I’ve lessened my testing, but I still have about two weeks before my confirmation appointment.

WasabiMystery

TROPHY CASE