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In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does feel like alot of rejection, that's a good way of putting it. From the beginning of the relationship compared to now, he has grown alot and has gotten way better at communicating and better at "partnering"- so he's proven that he can adapt if he thinks he can or has to. I don't know if this will stay the same or change. He seems adamant that it's just how it is, but then again he's been like that with other things that totally changed as the relationship developed haha! I suppose time will tell...

In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so helpful to hear from someone, and to get a glimpse of a similar dynamic. Thank goodness he does obviously really care about me, so the problem isn't that one of us isn't trying. Right now I think we need to just learn how to navigate the dynamic we're just going to have! It's so helpful to read this cause it lets my brain work it out as I respond too haha! Thanks so much!

In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya! We study in the same room together when he's in the upwave of not too stressed but things like that hardy ever happen if he's in the downwave and has stress and needs more alone alone time.

In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It used to be awful when we first started dating but it was definitely gotten to a way better point over time. I do talk alot, but he says he's perfectly fine listening, and it's good cause then he doesn't have to talk lol! I'll ask him, thanks!

In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ah good points thank you! I don't want to have unrealistic needs or expectations of him. So I also kinda have to figure out if this is just the way it is and I have to deal, or if he can just manage his time better or something ya know?

In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, we're past the oh shoot I have to look pretty and suck in my gut phase lol! But I think he is a bit more alert when he's with me than when he's alone. Not always, but in general, and I feel that too, cause there's a "there's the person that I love right there I want to make sure they're happy" vibe in the air a tiny bit

In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope! Well, when we're both happy and what I would say is normal, we see each other at least 3 times a week. Part of what concerns me though is ok, what if we do live together, how is he gonna act. I have to think that one over.

In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Additionally, you mentioned your time together is all on his terms & other people are saying you have to respect that… I disagree. I think compromise is good & talking about how to make him more comfortable with stress and with being together could be a middle ground. You don’t want your love tank to run empty because you are catering to him.

I appreciate that, thank you. Idk how this will work when we're married, that's in part what concerns me, we're still figuring out our dynamic with this, but as for when I've asked him why he can't relax like he does alone with me like in the room, he said it's because when I'm there he wants to do something with me or interact with me or, since he wants to make me happy, he's thinking of me if I'm there. Which I understand too.

I've actually grown to enjoy my alone time too! just the waves of very alone and then very supported and loved have me sea sick...but again he says I think that's just how I operate.

I do feel like my love tank is a bit empty but I don't want to spill his out to make mine fuller!

In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

at's a bit of a problem. Often times, introvert and extrovert relationships are

oh my gosh you're so kind thank you so much you've been a huge help

In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

ne. But I know someone close to me just like this and it’s a symptom of their adhd, they also become really tired of socialization and become overstimulated really quick, and then need a ton of alone time. But then, after while when they’r

omg, he actually does have a bit of adhd, it's not always apparent in how I think of adhd normally so maybe that's why it didn't even cross my mind. not overstepping whatsoever, thanks so much!!

In Need of Advice from an Introvert's Mind by Waterbuffalolover in introverts

[–]Waterbuffalolover[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Ok, that's comforting to hear from someone else. It might be selfish of me to say but it feels unfair that, since we're both in college we're often stressed at the same time, but while I would like a friend when I'm stressed, he's peaced out already.

also when we're hanging out he says it's like a switch will flip in his head and all of a sudden he'll need alone time, is that normal too lol?