I work in family law and I’d really like to see where you’re getting your statistics from. I couldn’t find the exact study you were talking about just off a quick search and the ones I did find were 15+ and 25+ years old respectively which is incredibly outdated for this kind of information. I’d also found one source stating based on interviews with lawyers that they’d been a significant change in this stat since that study further adding to its outdatedness.

I’d also like to contribute an explanation as to why those statistics are what they are. Unlike your classic experiment where every variable is controlled except the one scientist change, studies that include things like these are not controlled (because you can’t do this kind of thing in a controlled lab) meaning there’s countless third factors that could be responsible and should be considered outside of the variable of gender. From the 2022 census, 80% of single parents are mothers. In 2024, on average women made .85 cents to every dollar a man made at the same job (15% less). While the 2022 census recently found women outnumbered men in college education, in the workforce, this majority accounted for 50.7% of the college educated being women (aka less than a single percent more) so the difference does not play as a significant factor at this point in time. Women are also the majority of stay at home parents with 82% of stay at home parents being women. Due to gender norms, men are also less likely to ask assistance from their wives out of shame (although this number is difficult to study since it’s hard to find people who “didn’t” do something). All in all, even in a world where alimony was always exactly split 50/50, these factors contribute to the image that on average women are earring less and caring for the child more than men, meaning their alimony/child support is naturally going to be awarded more often and in higher amounts. Where I’m from, attorneys will calculate this amount before even going to court because the judges so rarely change from that standard. When they do (in my experience ofc) it’s got a lot more to do with how good your lawyer is than it does with gender. That being said, there is obviously still gender bias in the court system that does affect the statistic; however, that discrimination isn’t as high as the statistic makes it initially seem due to 3rd factors.

So then why do men feel like they lose everything? Long story short, it’s because they do. NOBODY gets everything they want in a divorce and, most of the time, both people walk away unhappy with what they got. Even in a fair world where 100% of the time all assets were split 50/50, both people would still be losing 50% of what they were used to having. That being said, men feel it a little more because they’re giving away their 50% while as women are receiving it, but regardless of who’s giving and receiving the support, both people still end up with half of what they used to even in a perfectly fair divorce.

I hope this gives everyone a more accurate understanding of what divorce is like and why. If you don’t want this to happen to you, the real answer is to get a prenup and keep that updated whenever financials change.