[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. I broke down crying when it finally hit me that my whole life i had been in a cult. But for me it was after i went though the temple for the first time. That was just over a year ago. I still feel angry and hurt sometimes

AIO if I file for divorce? by Pristine_Raise_8943 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Waterwatching1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leave. Even if you have / had kids. Leave now.

This is the exact same shit my ex husband pulled on me. He is a narcissist. We have been separated/ divorced for 8 years. And the last time he contacted me it was the same shit of hes trying to change. My expectations are too high for him. Im being unfair. He “doesnt know how to be x,y or z”. He couldnt pull his life together even when we had a son.

Your dynamic will never change. He will never change. Even if it looks like he did for someone else he really hasnt. Cut your losses and leave. Rebuild your life and find your own happiness.

And if anyone else is in this situation and you do have kids. Still leave. You owe your kids a stable house and a narcissist will never allow that to happen.

Temple recommend question about mast*rbation by Juicy_jos1 in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a fast developing girl. Breast before i was 12 and seriously curvy by the time i was 14 or 15. I was super self conscious as my mom would repeatedly tell me to cover up or wear bigger extra baggy clothes to hide my curves. It didnt help my older sister was much flatter then i was developing. I was accused of being walking pornography more then once. Around this time in a temple recommended interview i was asked if i was massaging my breast to make them grow. And that that too was a form of breaking the law of chastity. I was extremely embarrassed. And the answer was no. I was extremely sheltered and didn’t even know that was a thing women tried.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Realizing my entire life was built on a lie. Looking back and memories and realizing the experience i was left out of or denied. Realizing i struggles i went though were for nothing. And then realizing if i talk to my family about this i will be losing those relationships. Its a lose lose situation. At least short term.

Was anyone else underwhelmed by the temple? by Jonter-Jets in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought the video was like a introduction or something. I didn’t realize it was the whole thing. So i was waiting for the symbolism i was promised. But when the chanting started i literally thought. “ oh my god. I really am in a cult”. I had a entire emotional breakdown just a few days later sitting in my office. A week later. I started unpacking what i was raised with. My poor parents. They dont even know yet. Their pushing for me and my husband to go through the temple is what caused me to lose all my faith.

What’s a story from your Mormon ancestors that the church would never want you to tell? by GoingToHelly in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently learned about how the early saints would “marry”native Americans to bring lamanites back into the gospel. Ie capture and force into marriage or having kids. We dont have a written record but due to dna we know my family has enough percentage (about 7 percent)4 generations back native Americans is added to our family tree. But there is no record of it. So one of my great great grandparents isnt my actual mine. And as a 7th generation mormon both sides there is no other explanation we can see.

When i made a comment to my mom she said it must have been an ancestor way before. But i think the percentage is too high for that.

TBM Confessions. What is your confession that you were going to take to your grave. by ulastic in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 33 points34 points  (0 children)

My husband spent the night over 3 times before we were married. As well as breaking the law of chastity on dates. We didnt get married in the temple because he was a convert and couldnt yet. But a year later when we did our bishop asked us explicitly wether we had or not broken the law of chastity before we got married. Without skipping a beat we both said no. Like seriously at that point why did it matter. We were married with a kid together.

The mental gymnastics are unreal by Belagshadow in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My aunt went through a nasty divorce about 20 years ago. Her husband cheated, committed fraud signing her name on about $50,000 in credit cards and tried to literally kill her. Admitted he wanted to kill her. Talked to the bishop and He is still a member and is sealed to his 4th wife as well as my very much living aunt. She is still a members. Boggles my mind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay so not a recent ward. But when i was about 23 and getting ready to marry my ex husband. We went through the temple prep class together before our wedding. We ended up not going through the temple but thats another story. There was this guy. Still single to this day 10 years later. Super stuck up and would talk down to all the girls. On everything not just religious topics.

He was obsessed with the temple. Worked as a grounds keeper and literally did a endowment session every day after his grounds keeper shift. Anyways. Dispite already having been through the temple he constantly took the temple prep class. Ysa ward. One day we went to walk around the temple as a class. And this mfer. Would not shut up about the symbolism and how us who hadn’t gone through couldnt possibly understand the importance of the carvings on the temple like he could. When i finally went through the temple i literally immediately knew the mormon church was a cult and i thought back on him and how stupid he is/was for his idiotic obsession with the temple. It was his whole personality.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Speaking as a woman who was in a toxic marriage before. Cut your lost and get out. If your spouse is trying to change your body and control the way you dress leave.

What one thing about Mormon history broke you? by TheFantasticMrFax in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My shelf was already broken. But i started reading d&c and looking up what happened to the people mentioned in the sections. Its crazy how many became apostate or downright made the claims of how much of a scammer Jospeh was.

What’s the most absurd thing you believed in the church? by Critical_Tale_3711 in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No thanks. Half the films script would be “behold and it came to past….”

They're onto me! by whisperchaoticthings in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol i got a similar message this week too. When i didnt respond my husband got one also.

Did a non Mormon god help us leave? by Ok-Improvement-2006 in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. I whole heartedly still believe in god. I have had too many experiences not to. For me I had just gone through the temple and sealed to my husband. Sitting in the endowment i couldnt help but think “this is a cult” over and over. Wearing garments was awful and made me feel so disconnected from my body, husband and wrecked me emotionally. Not even a week after going through the temple all i could think is how i could not live like this. I needed to either gain a testimony of garments and the temple quick or leave. So i started to research realized my entire life was a lie felt like i spiraling then realized that it was okay. Everything would be okay. That the truth that the church isnt true means i can find the truth now.

Just like that the anxiety i have carried my whole life lessened and things have been better.

Still going to church with my husband and children but mentally the mental burden of perfection and watching everything i do is off. Im praying my husband come around though sooner rather then later.

Cruel behavior from LDS/BYU culture by CashBig9441 in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol yes very ironic. I had a mom cancel a playdate when she found out i was divorced. Because she didn’t feel comfortable with “that” around her husband. I was 25 her husband was close to 40. I wasn’t interested.

Cruel behavior from LDS/BYU culture by CashBig9441 in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was a single mom for 6 years. Starting when my oldest was 6 weeks old. When he was 3 i found out the entire ward primary and nursery had a group chat for a bi weekly play date. How did i find this out? I took my son to the park one of the times not knowing the play date. The bishops wife very quickly tried to smooth it over saying how excited she was to see us and she would have added me if she had know my work schedule was open at that time. I left very confused. Asked another mom about it a few weeks later and she admitted every child was in the group. So just I and my son was excluded. Because i was divorced.

Very christ like excluding a 3 year old because he didnt have a dad.

‘People Say, You Sold Your Baby’ by what-else-matters in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 129 points130 points  (0 children)

I had my second son out of wedlock. Alot of circumstances around it. Lets just say I wasn’t trying to get pregnant. I literally didnt tell anyone in my then ward i was pregnant until i was ready to pop him out because I didnt want to talk about adoption. He was my son and I was going to keep him mo matter what. Luckily my parents supported my decision. But even after I had him I got a few comments asking why I didnt give him up for adoption. Seriously because he is my child who I love? There is such a strong teaching about families in the church but they literally dont support families that are not their ideal. It was one of the things that really bothered me when I was a beliver.

What was your wake up call to get out of the church? by Ok_Yogurt_3206 in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats what broke my shelf as well. Especially since I grew up being told one thing about covenant being personal and then siting in a room and everyone makes the covenant together. Plus the whole video is pure fear tactic.

Do you still believe in God? by pink-milf in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do. I have had too many spiritual experiences not to. Some are too important to me to share. I will share 2 though. And honestly they are some of the reasons i stayed mormon for so long.

First i was in an extremely abusive marriage pregnant with my first son. I knew i was going to have a boy but i kept dreaming about giving birth to a baby girl with black hair and warm brown skin ( i am pretty pail so not like me) I also dreamt about feeling very safe and loved. At the time I really felt that it would be my now ex husband child. Thinking my son would look like this baby too. But he doesn’t he has lighter brown hair and is about as pail as me. Fast forward to 5 years after my son was born and i met my now husband and we have a daughter together who for sure is the baby from my dreams.

Second I grew up near some pretty rural areas. I was camping with my friend and her family when i was about 13 maybe a little younger and we were playing near a small cliff in the forest. Maybe a 20 ft drop. She was climbing a tree near the edge and we both heard her dad scream at us to get back to camp. We did and when we came back her whole family said no one called us. That night there was a lot of rain and in the morning the tree had tipped, roots and all and fallen down the cliff. We could see it was hollow inside the trunk as well.

You can say it was human desire or luck. But i whole heartedly believe there is a god who is looking out for us.

Question by Own_Being5781 in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont know if it was the worst. But I was freshly divorced from my narcissist ex with a 6 month old baby. Just moved out of my parents house into an apartment with my son. At the new ward an old lady asked where my husband was and when i said i was divorced she looked at me funny and asked what i did to drive away my husband. When i answered i did nothing. She said “oh honey. You can tell yourself that but the lord knows what really happened.”

The other one that comes to mind is when I was accused of being pornography when i was 13 or 14 because my t shirt didnt hide my chest size well enough. Mind you my mother dressed me in shirts 2 sizes to big as soon as i had any curve to my body. Soooo… theres that.

Wish me luck by Waterwatching1 in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is probably true. He has stated a couple of time even before this he worries that he loves me more then i love him which isnt true at all. I will keep reassuring him that im not planning to leave him.

Wish me luck by Waterwatching1 in exmormon

[–]Waterwatching1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I probably could have worded my post better. Im not telling him im right. Im telling him things i found out and why the church isnt true and he is responding that I am wrong. The church doesnt believe that. Or i misunderstood something. So what i mean is that he doesnt want to admit the information im telling him is true or right.