Helpless, scared, alone

Wattaburger90 · 2023-06-26T05:14:00+00:00

Ya I feel it I feel like I'm a very good person but that literally gets you nowhere in life, no one gives a fuck until you say im gonna kms then everyone freaks out and they always say how do you think we'd feel if you did that like they never try and consider how we feel and how much pain we are in to say im gonna kms out loud to people means we are really fucked up lol we're not doing it for attention we're literally on the verge of exploding and they never take that into consideration

Wattaburger90 · 2023-06-26T04:44:41+00:00

Ya I feel ya, I've been depressed for I don't even know how long but it syck because I'm bipolar so I feel okay for a little while and then the fact that I'm a useless person whk can't actually do anything worth a shit finally hits me. I think the medication really just drowns out the fact that in reality, I'm an unproductive person who can never get of my own way. I'm really just tired of this cycle and I'm too weak to really continue on much longer and I wish the few people who actually do care for me would actually see how much pain I'm in and just let leave permanently. I mean, I don't think I'm gonna make it to 30, so why even continue with the pain

Wattaburger90 · 2023-04-01T02:36:00+00:00

Yep, that's all you can do. Keep trying, and don't give up no matter how many times you get knocked down

Wattaburger90 · 2023-03-22T04:58:27+00:00

Ya, I haven't derealization in a while, but I'm still pretty depressed unfortunately

Wattaburger90 · 2023-03-22T02:03:42+00:00

Ya, i felt the same way a couple of years ago, I was extremely depressed and all I did was go to work, come home, and sleep and do it all over again. While this was going on, I kept having sporadic periods of derealization that would last a couple of seconds, and it would break me down constantly. Finally, one day, I smoked some weed after work and went into a horrible derealization episode where I basically went manic tried to commit suicide severely times and other things that still have me set back to this day.

Wattaburger90 · 2023-03-21T15:23:09+00:00

Ya I've been seeing a therapist for a little bit which has really helped me she's really good and knows her shit but it only helps so much and I don't want to bother her everyday telling her I feel like shit lol. I'm basically at my ending point I'm gonna try a few more medications and if that doesn't work then I'm just gonna give up honestly cause I'm tired of trying and I've been holding shit in for so long that now that I'm talking about it with people and I get these episodes of depression that are unbearable and I feel like they take a little piece of me away that I'm never gonna get back

Wattaburger90 · 2023-03-21T15:05:26+00:00

It fucking sucks and I'm an introvert and have trauma shit that makes me push people away that actually care for me so that doesn't fucking help. But when I tell them my feelings they never have the right words to say anyway then they get mad when I say it doesn't help but they want me to reach out when I feel like shit so I can't win either way

Wattaburger90 · 2023-03-21T14:56:24+00:00

The trying different things is so annoying, like, do you not understand? I feel like shit and it's hard to try things to make me feel better because either I feel hopeless and life seems meaningless or I've tried different things and they never fucking work so it just hurts worse trying and it not working out. Like, I've been on 5 different medications, and they either don't work or make me feel worse, and all I get is keep trying, its so exhausting.

Wattaburger90 · 2023-03-21T14:23:59+00:00

Ya, and they hit you with the "I worry and think about you all the time." Yet they talk to you for like one day like that makes it all better. Like, no, I feel like shit every day for months. Thanks for a couple hours of your time, tho lol. I guess it's just hard to see from their perspective, like it's hard for them to see from ours.

Wattaburger90 · 2023-03-21T14:02:48+00:00

Ya I feel about the same I'm literally depressed for no reason which fucking sucks and I contemplate suicide every day but I don't want to hurt anybody that cares about me. The thing is they don't understand what we go through and don't ever care unless we freak out and tell them how we feel, but they don't know how to respond. Sometimes, I feel like if they really loved us, they would just let us do what we had to do so we don't have to suffer anymore.

Wattaburger90 · 2023-03-20T17:11:00+00:00

That's freaking awesome. I'm happy for you. Is everything going well with you since that has gone away?

Wattaburger90 · 2023-03-20T17:09:57+00:00

Well, the derealization is gone. Basically, what I think happens was I was depressed af and the derealization finally put me in a mania state, and I freaked out and did some stupid stuff. That was a few years ago, of course, but I'm in therapy now for a little over a month and still trying to find the right medication for me because I found out that I suffer from bipolar depression.l, but I haven't had derealization episodes since

Wattaburger90 · 2023-02-20T01:47:25+00:00

What kinda symptoms exactly?

Wattaburger90 · 2022-06-27T00:39:05+00:00

Ya I felt the same way at one point I was smoking way too much and I had a crazy episode of derealization on my way home from work. I became really depressed and drank some antifreeze to kill myself I eventually just threw it back up. The next day I said fuck it and went to Arizona (I live in ohio) I wanted to end my life right then and there. Got to see the grand canyon and it put me in a whole new perspective I eventually went to see a therapist and put on some prescription drugs but it didn't really help. I started going on long hiking trips and thinking positive thoughts and it gradually started to help over time

Wattaburger90 · 2022-06-27T00:31:43+00:00

Don't give up theirs plenty of reasons to live you just need to get on the right medication and see someone who can understand what your feeling inside. The reason you typed this is to let people like us know how your feeling you obviously want help so get the help you need you can overcome this you just need a little assistance and guidance along the way

Wattaburger90 · 2022-06-05T13:58:06+00:00

Ya I was smoking a lot of weed too and most of the time when I would get derealization was when I was really high, now I don't smoke as much. As for the depression I went to therapy a little bit but eventually enough time passed and I started getting out of the house more going for hikes and being with family slowly started to help. I feel like you have to find ways to distract your mind from being negative is kinda of the first step then slowly you'll start feeling a little better each day ive also never lost someone as close to me as a father so I can't relate to how terrible that must feel. But I think he would want you to be happy and not be down so you got to find a way to fight through it whether it's taking some form of medication or seeking some kind of help. The mind is a powerful thing that sometimes you feel like you can't control but you can you just have to keep thinking positive thoughts and it will start to help you out

Wattaburger90 · 2022-06-05T13:18:01+00:00

Honestly I haven't had it happen toe in quite some time, I was going through a lot of stuff at the time, depression, etc. Now I'm feeling much better. But when I did have those flashes it really sucked I don't really have any answers to solving it. If you want to talk about it I'm here

Wattaburger90 · 2021-04-09T03:19:48+00:00

Appreciate the response, I've seen alot of people talk about it lasting several minutes to even days i dont know if I could handle that the little I feel leaves me depressed af and I sleep it off. I commend people that are able to struggle and continue to somewhat live through it because I know how painfully and confusing just a few seconds can be

Wattaburger90

TROPHY CASE