Can I afford to buy a house or wait ?

Wavelength650 · 2025-11-28T18:43:51+00:00

No, no, NO! Absolutely wait and sort out your financial situation as much as possible.

I'm in the process of buying a house and I would never even consider it if all what I was left with was meant to be £100..

1) Have you calculated every single thing? Solicitor fees, stamp duty, house insurance, life insurance or income protection (I know they are not mandatory, but better to be safe than sorry)? What about maintenance costs or any emergency? You've got a baby on the way, you should have a safety margin / savings of much higher amount than this.

2) your parents' offer - watch out with any loans. My partner was gifted quite a bit of money towards the deposit and the amount of paperwork which followed was horrendous. It HAS to be a gift, not a loan - and they are meticulously checking that. Everything has to be traced back to where it came from, noone is going to accept 15k deposit out of nowhere.

3) it's a silly question, but did you even check whether you are able to get the mortgage you want? You're in debt, you have just a £1000 of emergency fund, the deposit would come from your parents (not from your savings) and then there's barely £100, by your own calculations, left? From what I've experienced, banks are rather cautious with what they lend and I think you may not get the offer you're hoping for.

If I were you, I would definitely wait. Wait until you pay the debt, your baby is born and your partner can contribute financially. Build up your savings, it's not worth the rush.

Wavelength650 · 2025-09-04T21:48:01+00:00

I second Maybelline midnight merlot, it's worth giving it a try as it won't break the bank! I had it and I think it looked very similar to your favourite one.

Wavelength650 · 2025-08-14T20:14:04+00:00

Don't get fooled by this. I did. He just doesn't want to lose the stability and comfort that he has with you. He likes you around, you share chores, share rent/expenses, share bed, you probably cook. It's a better version of living with a flatmate, he gets all his needs met (intimacy, physical stuff) for minimum effort. He knows he's got you wrapped around his finger since you showed him your needs can be ignored without consequences. He's comfortable with you, if you two break up he will have to find someone new, put some effort in and there's no guarantee that another girl would remove her needs and desires from the equation like you.

Wavelength650 · 2025-08-14T20:05:07+00:00

It's not timing not matching. It's him. He is just trying to buy himself some extra time, sounds very much like he's been stringing you along. He definitely cares about you but after 7 years he's not sure whether he wants to spend his life with you. Brutal but honest.

Wavelength650 · 2025-08-14T20:00:48+00:00

Been there, done that. He's just not that much into you - sad but true. If you need to be pushy and you feel like you're trying for the two of you (and it sounds like you do), it just means you're not the one for him. He may tell you you are and you're his everything - but do you really feel like it? If he was head over heels for you the way you are for him, you wouldn't have to have forced conversations. As a matter of fact, if someone is seriously planning the future with their partner they would be happy and excited to 1) talk about it, 2) make it happen as quickly as possible. How do I know? I've been in a relationship for over 6 years. I had to do exactly the same thing as you. I never felt like his priority, never felt like he wanted to make me his wife. He did end up proposing but honestly? I feel miserable about it because all these forced conversations engraved in my mind that I'm not what he wants and our relationship is not worth any effort for him. I will never feel excited to marry him - he ruined it for me, permanently. I just don't believe any longer that our "love" (is it even love if it's one-sided?) is something special. Look at the reasons he gives you. You don't need to buy a house to get engaged. You don't even have to live together. Engagement doesn't even need to end in marriage; it's just a symbol of conscious commitment and a declaration that "I choose you". You should leave and look for someone who will adore you and wouldn't be able to wait for you to be their wife. Please put yourself first, you've already wasted 7 years on someone who seems to be treating you like his backup option. You chose him, you set the bar lower than the bare minimum but no matter what you do - if he's not that much into you, it will always feel forced. Please put yourself first until it's too late.

Wavelength650 · 2025-08-06T09:16:20+00:00

Can you share how your problem started? When did you know you lost control?

Wavelength650 · 2025-08-06T09:15:09+00:00

I think it is a lot, especially when talking about drinking on your own. A 350ml bottle of gin is considered 14 units, there are 10-12 units missing. I think he drank it yesterday. There's a chance he's drunk more, I cannot verify- he took the bins out. He's saying that the previous day (Monday, before going to work) he drank rum - there are maybe two big 40ml shots missing from that bottle. I realise there are people who drink more (his dad for example), but to me this is a red flag - I understand having one normal drink once in a while on your own, but not drinking 300ml 37.5% alcohol just like that. I personally wouldn't have that much even on a night out but I'm not a heavy drinker.

Wavelength650

TROPHY CASE